Under Lock and Key
by TheTransfiguredCanary
Summary: Harry needs answers. His life has just taken an unusual turn, where people he thought were enemies are now unlikely friends. So he returns to the place where he first looked for answers and what he finds causes him even more stress. He is now more lost then before. How you supposed to confront a man you hated for seven years, when you know you once called him 'Mummy?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Harry ran. The sounds of battle echoed around him. Curses flew. Lights dazzled. Explosions shook his eardrum. And still he ran. He and his friends had engaged the battle full force after destroying the diadem. They wanted to help. They needed to protect their loved ones. Somehow Harry had become the 'treat' of Bellatrix Lestrange. She had bated and goaded him with taunts about Sirius. But Harry found that the taunts held no stock anymore. There were others dying, others who were much more important at the moment, who needed to be thought of. So he had turned around and walked away. Bellatrix did not appreciate being flipped off though, and now he ran.

"Crucio!" she cried. The spell misfired again as they ran. Harry knew his luck would not last. His blood was not part Felix Felieces as many people joked.

"Impediment!" he shouted running backwards for a second. She sent an ominous blue spell at him silently. He dodged it and continued running. Bellatrix stooped and shouted out the killing curse in a fit of rage. It raced towards him just as his tripped slightly. Bellatrix's eyes suddenly widened in horror. She was going to kill Harry potter. Oh shit Shit SHIT! Harry could see it coming towards him. he had the knowledge to smirk. He could imagine the look on Voldemort's face when he found out Bellatrix killed him. Just as he thought it would hit him someone tackled him to the ground. His glasses knocked of but he could still hear

"YOU!" Bellatrix screamed

"Yes Bella, me." The deep voice said darkly "I just saved your life, or at least what is left of your pitiful sanity. How many time did the dark lord tell us 'potter is mine, I must be the one to kill Harry potter.' really Bella, I thought you hanged of the dark lords every word at those meetings."

"Well yes I do but…"

"There they are!" a voice shouted down the hall. Harry watched the dark shape of Bellatrix disappear while the bolder black shape came towards him. The shape placed his glasses in his hands lingering only slightly for what Harry thought looked like a stretched gaze. By the time Harry put his glasses on the dark shape had left and his friends had arrived.

"What did he do to you?!" Ron asked indignantly

"who was that?" Harry asked in return

"what did he do to you?!" Ron asked again angrily

"saved my life and gave me my glasses.

"saved your life?" Hermione asked again.

"yeah, Bellatrix threw the killing curse at me. That man tackled me down at the last second. I couldn't quite remember his voice… sounded familiar though." Harry said thoughtfully.

"Harry… that was Snape." Hermione said delicately

"…what?" Harry said incredulously and quiet.

"Yeah, we saw him leaning over you and well, we thought he might have been poisoning you or something." Ron said cracking his knuckles angrily

"no… he just gave me my glasses." Harry said quietly

"hm." Was all Hermione replied with. Harry looked over to the direction he left. Suddenly there was silence.

"what the?"

"Harry!" Neville called.

"Neville. What's going on?"

"I killed Bellatrix, the second I did the death eaters started freaking out and retreating. Right now it looks like he's screaming his head off at them across the bridge." Neville said chuckling slightly. Then he paused "course… I didn't do it alone."

"oi! Longbottom! Where'd you go? My mother wants to talk to you?" Draco said strutting down the hall.

"right, hey, thanks again Draco." Neville said running down the hall again

"thanks for what?" Hermione asked

"I helped him take down Bellatrix, mother helped too of course, she's nursing father's face right now… nasty cutting hex from Dolohov." Draco said. The trio looked at each other and back to Draco

"why?" Harry finally asked

"father finally agreed with us." Draco said "we tried to convince him that he was doomed to die if he stayed with the dark… attempted murder by Alecto and McNair changed his mind. He took those two down then Dolohov ripped up his face." Draco said. The he laughed slightly "he'll probably look a bit like Lupin when he wakes up." Draco paused "I saved three of your friends, Lupin and my cousin almost got killed by Amycius and one of your brothers was almost killed by Pius thickness… I think it was Fred, anyway, I helped them." Draco finished

"wow… thank you Draco." Hermione said quietly

"don't mention it… I was never a very good death eater anyway… I'm finding actually that I'm a much better light wizard." With this he walked off; wand still drawn in case of attack. Hermione and Ron went to the great hall. But Harry stood there. He was lost. He was confused. He needed answers.

"here we go again." He said as he let his feet carry him to the headmaster's office. "Snape might kill me anyway." He thought grimly. As he stepped over the gargoyle and climbed the steps he became more and more resolved until he nearly ran to the pensive cabinet when he opened the door.

"Harry." Dumbledore said smiling slightly inclining his head

"professor Dumbledore." Harry relied

"to dispel any confusion, many of the memories you are about to see belong to your father, James." Dumbledore said

"how did Snape…" Harry began

"professor Snape" Dumbledore corrected

"whatever. How did he get those memories?" Harry asked.

"my boy, that will become clear as you watch them." he said his eyes twinkling even through the canvas.

"alright… what can I expect?"

"happiness… then much pain. such is the norm when one loses the thing they hold dearest." Harry swallowed and dipped his head into the memories. At first he only saw snippets of memory. They were all jumbled up in a great big ball. The first thing he saw was a woman, she was beautiful but there was a hardness to her as she watch her son, who looked exactly like his father play with said father as he laughed and smiled. the next thing he saw was a woman with blond hair who watched wearily as her black haired, large nosed son walked home. He husband said something that was garbled by the multitude of memories and she swallowed. Then he saw a multitude of instances where the two boys interacted with each other. One was the instigator, the other was the victim. Suddenly the memories became more focused. He final opened to a memory of Severus Snape being held back by peter and some other Gryffendor while Sirius beat the shit out of him. Harry flinched.

"enough Sirius!" James finally shouted as he watched "he's had enough!"

"nothing's enough for that faggot!" Sirius spat. Everyone blanched. James glared at Sirius coldly.

"if he's a faggot then what am I huh Sirius?" James asked before walking away.

"wait James!" the memory flickered "I didn't mean it!" the memory formed into a new one. James was sitting by the bedside of a sick looking man. His mother sat across from him rigid and sniffing in distaste.

"James… I'm proud of you." the man said smiling

"well I am not. I will not condone your disgusting behaviour, you will marry and love a woman if it's the last thing I do. Your love of men is unnatural and sickening. I will not accept you. I will find you a suitable woman to love you, and you will love her understood!" the woman shrieked. The end of her tirade wet James's eyes.

"Helvetica! You should go!" the man said angrily.

"You poisoned his mind Harold, his abnormality is all your fault!" With this Helvetica stood and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

"I'm proud of you James. You were very brave, very brave… ignore your mother; she has a sore spot for men who love other men." Harold said. The memory flickered and switched.

"OH Severus! I'm so proud of you!" Eileen cried holding her son to her shoulder. Severus smiled slightly. "And I'm sure there are lots of boys at Hogwarts." Eileen paused "never listen to your father when he is enraged Severus. You are not worthless, or useless and you won't die alone, do you know why?" Severus shook his head "because I believe in you." the memories melded together into a mess again until it finally came to a complete stop in a potions class.

"10 minutes!" Slughorn said. Harry noticed that all of the Gryffendors were paired with slytherins. The pairs were each looking at each other with distain but worked together on their potion together none the less.

"Are you going to help me potter or just sit there being useless, as usual." Severus asked his lazy partner, who just HAD to be James.

"Well, it's what I usually do, plus I'll just fudge it up anyway if I try to help, best stay out of explosion zone I'd think." James said with a glum tone. Severus rolled his eyes and continued brewing the potions himself, which was turning out to be one of his worst since the instructions stated he had to add at least three ingredients at a time, exactly at the same time.

"And… TIME!" Slughorn called. Everyone dropped their ingredients, which saved some and hurt others. He walked around the room inspecting each person's potion, giving out pointers and praise, his chest instinctually puffed out in pride when he reached Severus only to deflate when he saw the mediocre potion. He looked Severus up and down to find the reason and spotted James Potter sitting around doing nothing. "Mr. Potter… did you do anything this class?"

"…Well sir… you see…"

"I've seen enough. You two can either comeback down here on your own time to brew it or receive a zero." Severus turned and glared at James venomously. James just leaned his head back and groaned. Each member of his or her respective houses cringed and looked apologetically at them. The memory changed.

"Enough with the small chat potter." Severus said walking away from the potions lab.

"I thought our mark was really good." James continued obviously ignoring Severus's wish.

"… Potter." Severus began twisting his wrists nervously "about yesterday…"

"Yeah?" James asked turning to smile at Severus

"What did you mean by 'we make a great pair?'" Severus asked

"The way we took down that guy who was beating up that centaur made me think that we made a great pair."

"Is that all?" Severus asked sounding the teensy, tiniest, bit disappointed.

"Well… " James lifted up his hand to scratch the back of his head. "Ha ha… um." He said nervously.

"It's a simple question P…James. Was that all you meant?" Severus asked. James snapped up with the use of his given name. Upon snapping he noticed the sigh on the door they were standing in front of.

"Hey… lets check this out." Severus turned and growled. How dare J…Potter use mischief to get out of this conversation!

"Come on Potter! We brewed the potion no lets go!" Severus hissed.

"Come on yourself Snape. Where's your sense of adventure?" James asked. With this he began to pick at the lock. Harry was shocked to see muggle methods being used. The door read 'arror training extra room'.

"Blocked behind reason." Severus replied looking up and down the hall.

"You mean quivering in fear behind reason, come on Snape, try some Gryffendor courage, you might like it." James said smiling slightly. The door clicked open. "Yes!"

"If we get caught potter I will make you demise my personal goal." Severus growled as the pair crept into the room.

"Nah, if you killed me you'd miss me too much." Severus scoffed "hey cool! Wanna take down the boggart?"

"No." Severus said rolling his eyes at James's antics

"wha? Why not?" James asked turning his puppy dog eyes on

"I will not give you the benefit of knowing my worst fear."

"what is it? Shampoo?" James asked. Severus smacked him about the head.

"of course not!" suddenly the chest in the corner shook ominously.

"what the hell…" James said walking up to the chest. It rattled again. He reached down.

"are you crazy!?" Severus asked grabbing James wrist. "This is what you look like right now." Severus cleared his throat "look at me I'm amazing, popular James potter! I'm gonna open the weird shaking box! What could possible go wrong!" Severus said this all in a incredibly fake deep voice.

"I'm not stupid! There's a tag on the box genius." James said grabbing the tag. "Sick!" James turned to Severus with a smile "it's a dementor!"

"Why are you smiling!?" Severus asked in a strained voice.

"Great time to practice the patronus." James said. Severus looked away "what?"

" I can't do a patronus…" Severus said.

"Really…well we have to fix that!"

"wha?"

"A patronus is part of our newts, you need to learn, alright them Mr. Snape come here."

"Mr. Snape?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow and a smirk

"Don't smirk at your professor's!"

"Alright then professor potter." Severus said rolling his eyes

"Okay then, first things first, you need to find a happy memory." Severus nodded and closed his eyes. He opened them a second later and nodded "you've got one? Good. The next thing you have to do is let it encompass your being, let it fill you up and then it's a simple sweeping thrust, like so; Expecto patronum!" An ethereal royal stag burst from James wand and landed gracefully on the stone floor. "See! It's simple." Severus gulped.

"Ex…expecto patronum." Severus's wand produced a wisp "expe…expecto patronum!"

"Your memory is not strong enough." James said "think of something else"

"A…alright." Severus tried another memory but nothing happened. He threw his wand against the wall in frustration.

"There's no need to get frustrated, try again."

"You made it look so easy…"

"It wasn't easy, it took more then a dozen tries for me to get that charm down

"I can't do it." Severus said looking away so that his face was blocked from James's by a curtain of hair.

"Yes you can, if you can beat everyone in potions you can master this; I believe in you Severus, now all you have to do is believe in yourself." James said turning Severus's face to his own. Harry watched for a few seconds before he turned away and grimaced. No one liked seeing his or her parents kiss, but watching you father kiss Severus Snape was a THOUSAND times worse.

"Expecto patronum!" Severus called. Harry turned back to see what Severus's patronus was and felt his mouth drop open. In the centre of the room was a very familiar doe.

"No way…" Harry said shocked.

"What's your memory Sev?" James asked smirking

"Stop smirking, it doesn't su…" the rest of the words were cut off as the two fell down into a suddenly appearing hole. "What the hell… ouch." Severus groaned rubbing his backside

"Trap… should have seen it coming." James hissed and pulled his arm to his side "my arms broken."

"Let me see." Severus said. James relinquished his hold of the limb so that Severus could look at it. After a few seconds Severus conjured a splint and wrapped it around James's break "that should hold it in place until we get out of here."

"Thanks."

"You know, getting stuck in holes is the reason I hate mischief." James groaned when Severus turned and glared at him. The memory changed. James was now alone sitting on the grass beside a man in a wheel chair. There was another man sitting on the wheel chair arm. Harry recognised the man in the wheelchair as Harold, James's father, but he didn't recognise the other man. He frowned in confusion when the man stole a kiss.

"We want to meet this lover of your James." Harold said warningly looking at his son down his nose above his glasses much like Dumbledore would.

"Harold, don't be harsh." The other man said smiling and rolling his eyes to James.

"But Hammond…"

"First off," the man said ignoring Harold with a smirk "what house is he in?"

"Slytherin." James replied. Harry expected and up roar but Harold just laughed out loud while Hammond threw his arms up in celebration mouthing 'told you so!' very obviously.

"Name?" Harold asked.

"Severus Snape."

"Snape… I'm certain know someone named Snape… from healer training." Harold said frown slightly.

"You might know his mother, Eileen nee prince."

"Oh yes! Eileen. Lovely girl. Very kind and gentle never followed her parents' way of thinking in the way of muggle hatred, or homophobia for that matter. How is the sweet girl?" Harold asked

"I haven't met her." James replied sheepishly

"Well, we have to fix that; go to your lover's house and invite the family for tea." Hammond said as he stole Harold's teacup and took a drink. Harold rolled his eyes at Hammond. Hammond blinked and looked at James "well, what are you still standing there for, go on!" James smiled broadly and leapt from the door to the house. Hammond and Harold laughed at him merrily before sharing a quick kiss again. Harry looked back as his dad to see the open door. The memory swirled and reformed Harry was still standing in the same spot but he could see that Severus was curled into James's side sobbing while Hammond pour more tea.

"It is absolutely tragic… I am so very sorry fro your loss child." Harold said grimly holding his hand out for a shake. Severus sniffed and shook Harold's offered hand.

"Can he stay here dad, please, he's got now where else now…" James said pleading with his father.

"He is more then welcome…was it…sudden?" Hammond asked Severus delicately

"No, father has threatened her hundreds of times… I just didn't think he'd actually… I didn't think he'd actually kill her…" Severus trailed off and snuggled into James. James glared at Hammond slightly. Harry choked slightly. The memory swirled around Harry heard Helvetica scream "WHAT IS THIS!?" before the memory swirled faster and coming to a sudden stop. Harry felt a bit disoriented and blinked to re centre himself. It was then that he saw the gravestone.

Harold Potter IV

_Born 12, May 1936, Died 15, June 1976_

_Tis a sin that my love is so far from here,_

_But deep in my heart they are always near._

Harry turned and saw that Helvetica was sneering at the grave. She turned to James.

"Your father is dead, go riddance, and I have complete custody, so you will listen to me, do you understand boy?"

"Yes mother." James spat.

"You will brake off all connections with this 'Severus Snape' and marry this lovely muggleborn I met last spring, she is an angel, and is completely in my opinion…you will love and marry her… is that clear?" Helvetica said sniffing angrily.

"I will marry her mother, but you cannot make me love her, that is for my heart to decide." James said turning back to the grave. Helvetica huffed angrily and walked away, leaving James hang his head and cry alone. Harry suddenly felt sick. The memory swirled around until James was in his Hogwarts robes talking to Lily Evans

"I'm really glad you saw the error of your ways James, being gay is so… wrong, besides he's gay, it's not like any of his feelings for you were real, he was probably stringing you along." James was grinding his teeth.

"right…" he ground our angrily. Lily beamed

"you know… I really like you James."

"Yeah, whatever." James replied averting his eyes. Harry heard a choked sob and turned his head. Severus was hiding behind a wall sobbing into his fist, hiding his face behind his hair, as his shoulders shook. The memory swirled away. And Harry could tell that at least a year had passed. Lily was holding James hand while James looked at her with borderline acceptance, but you could tell by the look on his face that he wanted to be anywhere but where he was now. Lily and he had matching rings on.

"I'm really worried doctor.' Lily said, her breath hitching a slightly "we've tried and tried but I'm just not pregnant." She leaned in and whispered "I think my husband is infertile."

"you are right that one of you is incapable of having children, Mrs. Potter, but I'm afraid it's not your husband, it's you."

"ME! I'm the infertile one?! There must be a mistake!" Lily screamed indignantly. James head swiveled around

"she can't have kids?!"

"no, Mr. Potter, I'm afraid not." The doctor said grimly. Lily looked at James with horror. And Harry was horrified to see him looking back at her as if Christmas had come early.

"Lily…I'm divorcing you." James said matter-of-factly

"JAMES?!" Lily screamed.

"I don't have to stand here and take your fucking abuse anymore, I, James Harold Potter, am gay and proud of it! Now if your excuse me, I have a date with my lover." With this he turned and walked out the door leaving the thoroughly shocked doctor and a fuming, spitting lily Evans in his wake. The memory changed as the door closed.

"SEVERUS! Let me in! Please! I'm sorry! I love you! Please let me in!" James sobbed banging on a door. It flew open

"Alright! Would you shut up? I heard you the first time." Severus said angrily. He looked at James coldly before swallowing. "Why?" he asked quietly with distain.

"my mother, she tied my hands, used a contract. I had marry lily for a child or… I'd lose everything. Everything, even magic…" James said

"I thought for a second there you left me for money." Severus said quietly.

"what! Never! If it was just money I would have stayed… but magic…"

"no, I understand, but what I don't understand is why you are here if you're under contract to stay with Evans."

"the contract only remained valid if she could bare children."

"Evans can't bare children?" Severus asked incredulously

"yep, so mother would have had to pick someone else." James said smiling

"would have?" Severus asked with a raised eyebrow

"mother died last year." James said smiling happily "which means I am perfectly free to do this." Harry had a five second warning to turn around while James grabbed Severus into his arms and snogged him senseless. The memory changed as James closed the door behind them. the pair where longing in the sitting room. Severus was reading a potions text peeking up at James every so often. James was reading a quidditch magazine sipping tea.

"James…"

"hmm."

"what if I told you there was a potion that allowed men to conceive." James choked on his tea and spewed it out of his nose before coughing. As his airway cleared he spoke

"I would take you right here right now on that couch." James said looking Severus in the eye

"there is a potion that allows men to conceive." Severus replied plainly

"you're not just saying that for sex are you." Severus put his book down and shook his head. James stood and smiled widely. Harry smacked a hand over his eyes and squeezed them shut. Thank fully it didn't sound like the memory was going to continue. Harry snuck a peak and gaped.

"NO, I will not be called '_Mummy_'." Severus said glaring at James as the man smiled and rubbed his rounded stomach more

"Wanna bet?" James said mischievously

"no, because you will train our child to call me that to make certain you win, which is cheating in case you care."

"I love you." James said happily leaning up for a kiss.

"And I reciprocate…" Severus accepted the kiss "sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" James asked in mock hurt.

"yes, because sometimes, you're an idiot." James feigned fainting and Severus rolled his eyes. The memories swirled more Harry heard screams of pain before the memories slowed to a halt again

"MUMMY!" a toddler screamed from somewhere. Severus groaned and stood as James guffawed with laughter .

"He's calling you." James said in a singsong voice. Severus fired a mild stinging hex at him before ascending the stairs. Harry felt his jaw slacken as HE was brought down in Severus's arms. "ah, my two favourite men." James said. Severus rolled his eyes again while feeding baby Harry. the memory changed again and Harry couldn't help but note that this memory seemed colder, sadder. The door opened and closed.

"'m home." James mumbled tiredly. He froze in the doorway in horror. Harry was confused and turned around. Severus was serving tea and where his sleeve was pulled up was the fresh dark mark swollen and red on his pale skin. Severus looked up and moved his arm back to the armrest where the mark was covered again. He stood and walked up to James.

"I'm glad you home." He leaned up for a kiss but James jerked away.

"Severus…how could you…" James whispered painfully.

"what is it?" Severus asked in confusion. James ripped his sleeve up. Severus looked at the mark and back to James only to see that the man had backed away to the stairs. "James…I…I can explain…" James shook his head and ran up the stairs "James!" Severus ran after him. He had just reached the door with the sign 'Harry's room' when there was a familiar crack of appiration. He pushed the door open to find it empty. Severus sunk to his knees in the doorway. Before holding his head in his hands and crying. The memory dissolved and the swirl of colour was back but it was darker as if everything was in different shades of darker colours one touch away from being black and white, as if James' departure took all the colour out of Severus's life. The scene reformed on an hilltop in the midst of an impending rainstorm. Severus was panting, turning around in a circle, and clutching his wand like a lifeline waiting for something to happen. Harry was frightened as well even though he knew that he could not be harmed. Suddenly a bright white spell flew across the ground and hit Severus, Harry almost though he was struck by lightning until the man dropped to his knees and clasped his hands.

"Please! Don't kill me!" Severus begged

"that was not my intention." Dumbledore said walking up to the hilltop the only light produced by his wand. "Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"

"No...No message…I'm here on my own account." Severus ran a shaky hand through his hair and wrung his hands. Harry thought that he looked a little mad "I…I come with a warning…no, a request, please…" Dumbledore flicked his wrist and the wind of the storm faded away.

"what request could a death eater make of me?"

"the prophecy… the prediction… Trelawney…"

"Ah. Yes. How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"

"Everything! Everything I heard. That's why…it is for that reason…he thinks it mean J-Lily Evans!" Harry noticed how Severus had stared to speak of James, but though better of it and said Lily Evans instead.

"the prophecy did not refer to a woman. It spoke of a boy born at the end of July."

"you know what I mean! He thinks it means m-her son, he's going to hunt J-her down…kill them all." Harry was a bit confused as to how Dumbledore did not catch these slip-ups. Perhaps he was preoccupied.

"if she means so much to you surely lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"

"I have…I have asked him…" Harry knew that Severus had asked for James's life to be spared, not Lily's.

"You disgust me." Harry was shocked by the contempt in Dumbledore's voice. Severus shrunk slightly. "You do not care, then , about the death of her husband and child?" Severus flinched at the mention of the child "they can die, as long as you have what you want?" Harry could see the pain in Severus's eyes at that statement.

"hide them all!" he said that a bit too quickly "Keep h-her, them, safe…please."

"and what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In return?" Severus began with shock. Harry knew that knowing James and himself would be safe was worth… "anything" Severus finished. Harry stood as the hilltop dissipated for another setting bellow. An animal of some kinds was screaming in Dumbledore's office. Snape was holding his head in his hands while Dumbledore stood over him looking grim. After a few seconds Severus raised his head. He looked like a man who had known nothing but misery for a very long life.

"I though…you going… to keep h-her…safe…"

"she and James put their faith in the wrong person. Rather like you, Severus. Were you not hoping that lord Voldemort would spare her?" Severus groaned and turned away. "her boy survives." Harry knew it irked Severus to no end to hear him be claimed as Lily's. "her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evan's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" Severus screamed angrily before dropping into the seat again and sobbing "Gone… Dead…"

"is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish… I wish _I _were dead…"

"and what use would that be to anyone? If you truly loved Lily Evans, if your truly loved her, then your way forward is clear." Severus peered at him in confusion and pain, before planning his words carefully.

"what…what do you mean?"

"you know how she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son." Severus jerked again before saying.

"he does not need protection. The dark lord is gone…"

"the dark lord will return, and Harry potter will be in terrible danger when he does." Severus stared and composed himself.

"very well. Very well. But never… never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it! I cannot bear…especially J-Potter's son… I want your word!" Dumbledore sighed

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best in you?" Severus glared at him slightly through the pain. "if you insist…" the memory changed. Severus was sitting on an armchair in his dungeon quarters staring at the fire when the door opened and closed and Dumbledore walked up to him. "you lied to me, Severus." The man in question cringed "Harry was not Lily Evans's child, was he?" Severus said nothing but sobbed slightly "he was yours."

"yes." Severus croaked out "how did you figure it out." He asked looking up.

"I watched some of my memories over again… you asked for James's life…not lily's."

"yes…and the dark lord… 'Respectfully refused'" Severus said painfully.

"Why?"

"James was an arror… he was a threat." Severus said quietly.

"why did you become a death eater, Severus?" Dumbledore asked sitting on the adjacent armchair. "you were happy, were you not? What caused this mess?"

"I thought…that if I was a death eater… they would spare him on raids… he wouldn't get hurt… it was only to protect them." Severus finished in defeat. Dumbledore looked at him sadly

"I'm afraid that did not work out." Dumbledore said sadly "you will not take your son in?"

"no… I stopped deserving him the day James took him away and made him Lily Evans's child. If she, homophobia and all, was a better mother then I… it's better this way." All Dumbledore did was shake his head sadly and leave the rooms. Harry gaped at Severus… he'd left him there! All because his Dad took him away! Harry rubbed his face angrily. As he lifted his hands he saw that Severus was pacing in front of Dumbledore angrily.

"disrespectful, arrogant… nothing like his father at all really… but I have to goad him, for my image… can't have junior death eaters ratting me out." Severus huffed before sitting into his chair.

"really Severus, you're seeing what you want to see. The other professors find him engaging and kind." Dumbledore said smiling at him from behind his transfiguration magazine. "much like you." Severus twitched in a annoyance. "you know…truthfully I always believed you had loved Lily, even before you 'asked' for her. The way you angered when James courted her made it look as though you were jealous of him, not lily." Dumbledore said flipping the page a again.

"appearance before reality, Albus. I would never love that…cow." Severus finished angrily

"now, Severus, respect the dead." All Severus did was jerk his neck. The memory shifted and Harry instantly felt the stiffness of the setting. Everything was taught with tension. Even the silver instruments on Dumbledore's table were silent. Severus was sitting straight backed in a chair as Dumbledore paced in front of him.

"Harry must not know, not until the last moment, not until it is necessary, otherwise how could he have the strength to do what must be done?"

"but what must he do?"

"That is between Harry and me. Now, listen closely, Severus. There will come a time, after my death, do not argue, do not interrupt! There will come a time when lord Voldemort will seem to fear for the life of his snake."

"for Naginii?" Severus asked astonished.

"Precisely. If there comes a time when lord Voldemort stops sending the snake forth to do his bidding, but keeps it safe beside him, under magical protection, then, I think, it will be safe to tell Harry."

"Tell him what?" Severus asked in confusion. Dumbledore sighed and turned away.

"Tell him that on the night lord Voldemort tried to kill him, when Lily Evans cast her own life between them as a shield of her own free will, the killing curse rebounded upon lord Voldemort, and a fragment of Voldemort's soul was blasted apart form the whole, and latched unto the only living soul left in the building. Part of Lord Voldemort lives inside Harry, and it is that which gives him the power of speech with snakes, and a connection with lord Voldemort's mind that he has never understood. And while the fragment of soul, unmissed by Voldemort, remains attached to, and protected by Harry, lord Voldemort cannot die." Harry felt his heart sink and shatter upon contact with the memory floor. He put a hand over his heart and choked. He heard a muffled sob and looked up. Severus hand a hand over his mouth.

"so the boy… my Harry…must die?" he asked quietly

"and Voldemort must do it, Severus. That is essential." Severus blinked and lowered his eyes. After a long pause he looked up and his eyes were ablaze with anger

"I though that… all these years…we were protecting him!" Severus yelled standing.

"we have protected him because it has been essential to teach him, to raise him, to let him try his strength…" Dumbledore turned his head minutely. "Meanwhile, the connection between them grows ever stronger, a parasite growth: sometimes I have thought he suspects it himself. If I know him, he will have arranged matters so that when he does set out to meet his death, it will, truly, mean the end of Voldemort." Dumbledore finally turned to see Severus's pain , horror and anger.

"you have kept my child alive just so he can die at the right moment?"

"Severus… we are in war… you cannot save everyone, even the ones we love, how many men and women have you watched die?

"lately, only the ones I could not save… you have used me!"

"meaning?"

"I have spied for you, and lied for you, put myself in mortal danger for you! Everything was supposed to keep Harry safe! Now you tell me you have been raising him like a pig for slaughter!"

"Severus…have you grown to truly care for the boy like a mother?" Dumbledore asked in shock. There was a short pause

"Not just him." Severus said quietly "expecto patronum." From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: she turned her head as if looking for something before turning her head then bounding out the window. Dumbledore watched he disappear before he turned back to Severus with eyes full of tears.

"You were James's soul mate…" he said quietly

"Yes." Severus said turning away before hanging his head, hiding his face with his hair as he did so long ago. But there was no James to heal his pain now and, leaving a lump in Harry's throat, the memories dissipated.

**~ Chapter Finite Icantatum~**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I want to make it clear, if the lateness hadn't already made it so.

this fic is very slow updating, and wont be very long. I am sorry but when each chapter is 6000+ words long...

anyways, enjoy

* * *

Chapter 2

Harry gasped as he exited the pensieve. He stumbled back and fell into the chair that the memory of Severus had been occupying.

"Snape… is my mother… wow… did not see that coming at all." Harry said with that half sob half laugh that came with stress.

"Harry." Dumbledore said quietly

"I have to die…"

"Harry, if you please, sit in the headmasters chair and turn to me please." Dumbledore said gingerly. Harry got up and moved sluggishly. He threw himself into the chair and felt tears welling up, but he choked them down. He sat up and opened his mouth, only to sigh and slouch back down.

"He hates me, doesn't he?" he said with a slight sob

"No, Harry, your mother loves you very much. That is why it hurt so much to see you, and know he could not have you."

"Well he has a weird way of showing he loves me."

"He shows it in small way Harry, ways that you don't notice right away, but when you think about it, you know."

"Name one time that he's shows any sort of care for me." Harry said bitterly

"There was a wolf on the grounds." was all Dumbledore had to say before Harry remembered.

"He threw me behind him to protect me… but he hates werewolves…" Harry said quietly

"Exactly, Harry, exactly." Dumbledore said smiling. The his smile faded slightly "remember too, Harry that he is still plagued by the mistakes of his youth and cannot show all he would without fear of his life."

"You would know… he killed you." Harry said bitterly

"Actually, Harry… I already knew I was going to die even before Severus spoke the curse. I knew I was going to die the second I saw the dark mark above the tower. Severus was the one who cast it." Harry gaped at him.

"How… you planned you death with him…" Harry said as the pieces suddenly clicked into place.

"Yes I did. The curse from the ring would have killed me anyway, and quite painfully at that, so we used my grievous error to rectify and issues that Severus was having in regards to Voldemort not trusting him." Harry gaped and dashed to look out the window "the curse doesn't work on paintings Harry." Dumbledore said chuckling. Harry sighed with relief and returned to the chair. Harry looked back at Dumbledore

"The elder wand." Dumbledore suddenly looked away like a guilty schoolboy caught in the act of mischief.

"Well, yes."

"You had it."

"Yes."

"But now it's Snape's"

"Ah, you see Harry there's that catch. We had meant for it to die with me as I had planned my own death. But something unexpected happened."

"Like what? Snape cast the curse, you died, end of story"

"Ah but I was not holding my wand when I died."

"Of course not, Draco…disarmed…you…" Harry looked down at the hawthorn wand in his hand "oh my god."

"What is it my boy."

"I overpowered Draco and took his wand last month."

"Oh my indeed." Dumbledore said with wide eyes.

"So… the wand is mine then…"

"It would appear so, my boy." Dumbledore said shaking his head with a chuckle.

"Wouldn't that mean that Vol, whoops, sorry sir," Harry said when Almaldo Dippet shook his head very quickly and the other headmasters and mistresses cried out in fear "you-know-who, is after Draco." Harry asked

"Ah… well you see my boy, Tom does not understand the wand, much like I once misunderstood. I once thought that the wand would only passed through death, but I learned otherwise."

"But that means…he'll go after Snape…" Harry said slowly.

"Yes my boy… and now is the test…will you save him?" Harry stared at the window and stood.

"Will he give me answers?"

"He most likely will, if he lives to see tomorrow." Dumbledore said

"He's my mother, I have to." Harry finally said and turned to the door.

"Wait my boy." Dumbledore swung open. Behind the painting where the sword was once held was a vile of green and red swirling liquid. "that holds the anti-venom for Naginii, something tells me you'll need it."

"Thank you." Harry said before running out the door. Around him spells blazed and lights dazzled once again as the battle raged on once again. Ron and Hermione ran towards him

"Harry!"

"I'm here."

"Where have you been?!" Hermione shrieked angrily. Harry and Ron looked at her. Harry chuckled at Hermione's motherly tone even in the midst of a viscous battle to the death.

" I was gathering information…"

"And? What'd you get?" Ron asked

"I need to find Snape, some time around right now." Harry said seriously. Both Ron and Hermione looked at each other. Their momentary shock cost them as two death eaters caught them by surprise. Harry, Ron and Hermione were soon engaged in battle.

"Harry!" Hermione threw a silent hex "why are we rescuing Snape?"

"Can this wait!" Harry through a powerful curse as a third and forth death eater joined the fray. "For you know, LATER!" another hex

"Um no!" Hermione threw a stunning spell hitting the second death eater in the chest. "Not really!" Ron dodged a spell and fire off three successive stunner's, one hit home and the forth death eater was down.

"Isn't obvious Hermione!" Ron called out before both her and Harry dodged a spell and fired another off. The death eater fell. Hermione felled the last one shortly after "you're settling your life debt to him right?" Harry blinked

"Yeah…" Harry said realising this was much more logical than 'Snape is my mum.' The three of ran a ways until the sound of battle dimmed slightly. At last Harry was able to find a secluded spot where he could enter Voldemort's mind, connected, he know knew, by the horcrux in side him. He was transported nearly instantly to a scarily familiar room the shrieking shack Harry's brain supplied before he chose to pay closer attention. He watched a bloodied death eater all but strip and present himself at the dark lord's feet. Both of them were thinking it pathetic.

"Enough of your grovelling Ratchet… fetch me Snape… I require of certain…services." Harry said tugging his robe ever so subtly away from the grovelling mass.

"Surely I can provide and ser…"

"Enough. Fetch me Snape."

"Yes, Milord! Right Away!" the man spoke before apperating away. Harry retreated form the connection and breathed a few deep breaths.

"He's in the shrieking shack." Harry said gravely.

"He's not even fighting?!" Hermione exclaimed in fury.

"Bloody git!" Ron said angrily. Harry laughed at that.

"He's a whole lot more then a bloody git Ron."

"Honestly Ron, is that the best you can come up with?" Hermione asked with a shake of her head.

"What?" Ron asked with a shrug "it's true.". Together the trio ran through the battlefield, fending off death eaters on their way to the secret passage below the murderous tree of the womping willow. As they arrived Harry stopped with a jolt. Voldemort was waiting for them wasn't he? He was leading his friends into a trap.

"Oh no you don't! I can see that thought written all over your face Harry James Potter! You are not going down there alone!" Hermione said.

"No way mate!" Ron shouted as he tried to levitate a branch and stab the special knot at the base of the tree. Harry turned to them and could see in Hermione's eyes and Ron's face that no words he said would convince them to turn back. With a heavy sigh he relented and together they slipped down into the passage. Harry was confronted with how much he really had grown. When they had last been down this passage at thirteen he had been able to walk through perfectly fine. Now, every so often the uneven ceiling would bump into his head and he'd have to crouch to get by. He was also confronted with how much taller his friends were than him as they had to bend almost double in certain places. As they reached the end of the tunnel Harry motioned for his friends to creep under his invisibility cloak. They crept out of the tunnel silently as they could and were careful to cause not even a creaking. As they crept forward Harry could hear Voldemort talking.

"…And so I wonder, why does it not work for me as it should? I took it from the mans dead corpse." Harry blinked and was suddenly in the dark lords mind. His mother was standing before him and he could practically smell the fear on him. "Well Severus?"

"My lord, let me go and find you Harry Potter. I will bring him to…"

"How many times must I answer the same question? I do not need to look for Harry Potter. He will look for me. Answer the question!" he snapped viscously.

"My lord…" Severus began uncertainly.

"The reason is simple Severus… I was not the one to kill Dumbledore… that honour rests with you… I regret that…" he said without a hint of regret in his voice. He turned to the snake secured in her magical cage. "~Kill him!~" Harry had to shove his fist in his mouth to stop from screaming as he watched the snake strike his mother in the neck repeatedly. Soon Severus slumped to the floor, blood pouring from the gaping wound in his neck. "I truly do regret it." Was Voldemort's final word before he slithered away from the dying man. He walked past the trio a hairsbreadth away and they held their breath. Harry watched mournfully as Naginii floated bay in her glittering cage. So close and yet so far away. As soon as he was certain the dark load was gone he placed a sound ward over the tunnel entrance and leapt up.

" Hermione I need that essence of dittany right now!" he said diving for the crumpled form of his mother.

"Har-ry" the professor gurgled.

"Don't talk, just take this!" Harry said placing the vial of anti-venom to the dying mans lips. Severus swallowed it and grunted.

"Lo-ok at me." He said quietly as Hermione handed Harry the vial of dittany. Harry looked into the man's eyes. "Reveileshio." The professor hissed out. Harry felt a burning in his eyes and closed them before opening them again. The world was foggy and blurred so he took of his glasses. The world was still blurred but less so. As the hissing of the dittany slowly closed the wound Severus whispered one last prayer "you have your father's eyes…" he slumped over. Harry was worried for a second that he had been to late and that his mother was dead but as he placed his fingers on the man's pulse he could feel it, fait, but there.

"We have to get him to a hospital."

"st mungo's…" Hermione before he picked up a piece of broken furniture. "porcus." The side table leg glowed blue for a few second before it dimmed. "That will take him to the lobby." He said handing it to Harry. "It activated in a few seconds." He placed the leg in Severus's hand and after the allotted time he disappeared in a blue flash. Harry heaved a sigh and turned to his friends.

"We better get out of here."

"Harry… your eyes." Hermione said in shock. Harry turned and walked to the broken mirror in the hall and sighed. His bright green eyes had been replaced with a dark hazel. The image was blurry but visible. He placed his glasses back on and couldn't see a thing.

"Oculus reparo." He said tapping the glass. They warped a bit before settling on a clearer view. Not perfect but enough that Harry could see where he was going. "Let's go." The together went back down the path of the whomping willow. As they exited on the ground once more the bone chilling voice of the dark lord ran amongst the barren fields.

"You have fought bravely. The Dark Lord values your bravery. But you are fighting a battle that you cannot win; if you continue to fight I will kill you all one by one. I do not wish this of our world; every drop if magical blood spilt is a waste of potential. I am a merciful lord and I have commanded my forces to retreat." Harry could see the streams of black smoke flying overhead, light great black ravens from an expired corpse. "You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. treat your injured. Now I speak to you Harry Potter. You have let men, women, and children die in your stead. I will wait in the forbidden forest for one hour, if you have not come to face me like a man when the hour is up, I will enter the battle myself and every soul who fought to protect you will be crushed under my heel. One hour." The silence that followed was deafening. Hermione and Ron watched Harry worriedly.

"Don't listen to him Harry, he's a bloody git remember." Harry smiled weakly at that. He stood and listened to the silence a bit more and began to walk forward. His friends followed as they arrived in the great hall Remus jumped up.

"Harry!" Harry was enveloped in a strong hug. One he knew he mightn't have ever felt again. He patted the werewolf on the back and walked towards the blond family that was sitting away from everyone else awkwardly, as if they weren't entirely sure they belonged there, which Harry thought, wasn't too far off he didn't do what he was going to do next.

"Thank you Mr. Malfoy… I owe you. My family is still whole thanks to you." with that he extended a hand to the man that had always been his enemy. The man took it and shook it, bewilderment visible on his normally stoic face. Draco turned to Harry and held his shoulders.

"If it's any consolation… I meant it when I offered my hand in first year." He said. Harry smiled and offered his own hand. Draco took it and shook with vigour. Before he was pulled into a hug. The blond stood stock still in shock. After Harry released him, he laughed at the blond face.

"Get used to it, there's plenty more were that came from." He said quietly. He patted the blond shoulder before he walked away. As he walked through the rubble-strewn halls of a castle he had long called home he thought of the task that had been set in front of him. It was the perfect plan. Destroying them all before realising its connection to him, learning of his necessity to die, a perfect way to tie up lose ends. Two to go on should he die before he was able to destroy them all. Harry heaved a heavy sigh and turned another corner. The sight that he met would have angered him greatly if he did not know the truth. Dean Thomas was kissing Ginny Weasley rather passionately against a wall. Harry stared at this and felt himself smile. Deep down, he had always known that Ginny and him were not meant to be. As he turned away he ran into another face. Luna was sitting on a bench watching the forbidden forest.

"Your going to go aren't you?" she said quietly. Harry sat and nodded. The girl smiled and turned to him. "Just remember Harry, no matter where you go, there is someone you loves you." with that she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek. He stared at her as she walked away. For a long time he sat until another came to fill Luna's seat.

"Harry…" Harry smiled. Neville.

"Hey Neville."

"Ron and Hermione are looking for you, they thought you'd run off to… well." Neville said worriedly. Harry turned and surveyed his long time friend. So much had changed since first year. It was so easy then, so simple. Neville was different. He was different. The world was different.

"Neville… can I ask you for a favour?"

"Sure Harry, anything."

"Voldemort has this snake, named Naginii, you know his great big snake?"

"Yeah."

"It needs to be killed, if you get the chance…" Neville grabbed Harry's shoulders.

"You're not going to him are you?" he asked worriedly. Harry sighed.

"No I'm not going to him. I just need to make sure someone else knows in case Ron and Hermione…" he paused "in case they're not able."  
"Alright Harry, I'll kill the snake." Neville said. "You're not going to him?"

"No." Harry said quietly. Neville nodded

"You coming?"

"No, I need a moment." Harry said. Neville nodded and walked away. Harry watched him. The second chosen one… Harry laughed. Suddenly it made so much sense. Even if he died there was another to take his place. Neither will fall at the hands of the other, for neither can live while the other survives. One had to die for the other to have the courage to defeat Voldemort. Harry smiled and got up, walking towards the forest.

"Good luck… Neville Longbottom." He said quietly before he walked into the forest to his death. He walked and as he walked he shoved his hand in his pockets, like he was going on another one of Hagrid's walks. As he did he felt something round in his pocket and pulled it out. The snitch.

"I open at the close." Harry said quietly. He placed the ball to his lips and laughed at Dumbledore's puzzle "I'm going to die." He said quietly. He felt the ball open and stared in shock at its contents. "Oh my god." He said quietly fitting the small black stone in his palm. He turned it thrice his eyes closed.

"You know…" a quiet female voice said. Harry threw his eyes open and stared at the shadowy figure before him. Ghost like and yet the colours were vibrant and solid looking.

"Mum…" he said quietly. The apparition laughed.

"I'm not your mother. That honour is for another man." She said quietly, her tones filled with regret. "But I could see…" she said standing before the teen. "I could see how much they loved you… and I couldn't help but see that I should love you too. I gave my life for you…and I'm glad." Harry looked at the woman and swallowed.

"So much has changed." He sad. Lily smiled

"Life changes, that's the point of living." She said.

"I don' know what I would have done if I found out about this in first year…" harry said quietly. Lily smiled again.

"You know… I always regretted my decisions. I regretted meeting Helvetica Potter. I regretted marrying James… I regretted taking you away." She turned to the boy. "But I never regretted my last words to you."

"What were they?"

"Never forget that your mother loves you, not matter what, your mother will always love you." she said quietly. Harry sighed and closed his eyes. Lilly wiped away the tear in an impression of a caress.

"Does it hurt?" Harry asked, instantly wishing he hadn't. It sounded so childish. Lily laughed.

"I've been told that when an incredible dark and painful ritual isn't involved, it's as easy as falling asleep. Otherwise, it hurts like hell." She said. Harry felt himself laugh, letting another tear fall. He took a deep breath.

"You might not be my mum, but I'll always see you as my mother." He said. Lily looked at him and smiled. It was a smile he'd seen before the same smile in the mirror of Erised. With those words out of the way the pair began to walk through the forest.

"Can they see you?" Harry asked as the approached the light of a fire in a clearing.

"Not unless you want them to." Harry nodded and walked forward. As he stood on the edge of the clearing he let the stone slip form his fingers. Lily disappeared peacefully. He stood a little listening to the sound of the death eaters.

"my lord… the hour is up…" there was silence. The tension in the clearing was palpable.

"pity, I thought he would come…" the dark lord rose his head and looked to the sky. "I appear to been mistaken." Harry swallowed his doubt and stepped forward.

"You weren't." he said, with a courage he did not feel. His heart was pounding in his chest with the knowledge of what was too come. Every death eater in the clearing froze and stared at the boy. Harry could feel their nervous eyes on him and couldn't help but smile. They were afraid of him… why? Were they afraid he would fail? Pity. He'd have to let them down if that was the case. He looked each death eater in the eyes. Before he finally set his eyes on Voldemort. Looking around he had realised with a jolt that.

"Indeed you have noticed. This is the place where we first met on these grounds." Voldemort said gesturing to the clearing around them. "This is the place that, had that imbecilic centaur not stopped me, you would have died, all those years ago." The snake like man laughed cruelly "now it appears you have come again… Harry Potter, come to die." He turned to him fully. Harry stared at him. As the less then a man raised his wand sound stopped and Harry watched the thin lips move silently at last the great green light he still remembered rushed towards him and he counted his heart beats.

One.

Two.

White.

Harry sat up. It was very white in this place. There appeared to be no ceiling. No floor, just white. He stood again before he realised that he had no clothes on. As soon as that thought appeared in his head clothes appeared on a bench a few feet away. As he finished clothing himself he began to walk. Suddenly in the distance he saw a woman. She was small and had stringy dark hair. He turned her eye to him and he could see they were a rather unattractive muddy brown. Her features were aristocratic, but they appeared misplaced on her thin frame and hallow face. He stared at her a few seconds before recognition clicked.

"Merope? Merope Gaunt?" the woman smiled and patted the bench beside her. He sat and stared at her. She said nothing simply staring at something a ways away. He looked in that direction and saw what she was staring at. It appeared to be a bloody grotesque baby. The sight of it seemed to upset her as she couldn't look at it for more then a few seconds before she looked away. But she would always look back. After a while she turned to Harry. "Can it be helped?" the woman shook her head sadly.

"My son is beyond help, I can see that now." Harry was shocked. He voice was rather sweet. Like a mother he realised. "There was a time, when I thought he could be saved." She turned back to the baby like creature "that time has long passed." She turned back to Harry. "He is not saveable in your world… but maybe…" she handed his a flower. It was a morning glory. "You must go. If you remain the fate of his soul will be doomed forever. Please, I beg of you." she fell down to her knees at Harry's feet pleadingly with tears in her eye and on her cheeks. Harry stared at her. "As a mother I beg you, save my son." After a few seconds Harry nodded. Merope laughed and smiled. He was amazed by how much smiling changed her face. She seemed fuller when she smiled. "Thank you, Harry Potter. You are a sweet child." With that she patted his face and walked away.

"Wait!" Harry called out. The woman paused and turned to him. "Is this real? Or was it all in my head?" the woman chuckled.

"Of course it is in your head my child, that doesn't mean it wasn't real." Harry stared at the woman's thin retreating figure as the white enveloped him again. He was suddenly accosted with the smell of earth, the pain in his chest and the pressing feeling of Draco's wand in his pocket. He could hear the faint muttering of death eaters. He opened his eyes just a fraction, to see what was happening. He could see the death eaters all standing around something, muttering and looking around nervously. He closed his eyes again, concentrating on breathing silently and softly as possible. As he did this there was a angry rustling sound, as if someone had bee shoved onto the grass.

"I'm fine! Away! What of Potter? Is he dead? You there! Check his corpse!" Harry felt his stomach sink into the ground. Of course he'd want to check. But as the person came forward he was accosted with something vaguely familiar. Jasmine. And chamomile. Narcissa Malfoy!

"You are not alone." she breathed before she turned back to the dark lord. "He is dead my lord!" she said in a changed voice. Harry laughed inwardly at how easy it was to fool these people. There was a celebratory shout form behind him and the explosion of fireworks nearly made his jump. The cold high laugh of the dark lord rang out.

"Oh how the mighty have fallen! Power the dark lord knows not? Ha!" he fired a spell at Harry. He inwardly sighed and forced himself to go as limp as possible and not scream. But he was surprised when no pain came. It felt like nothing. _Wow, the wand is really not working for him_ Harry thought _lucky me_. After a while Voldemort spoke again. "We must inform the world of their saviours death, console them through this loss." Several death eaters hollered out in laughter. Greyback's cackle was particularly menacing. Harry winced inwardly for his friends. He wondered how long this façade would go on. Son he felt himself being lifted by a spell. He could feel himself begin halfhazzardly pulled through the forest. Whoever was levitating him was not worded about branches or thorns. He received half a dozen scratches before they clear the forest. As they stop before the Entrance doors Harry felt himself being dropped unceremoniously on the flagstone. _Ouch, that's gonna bruise_ he thought to himself but not daring to move a muscle. Voldemort's voice rang before the school once more.

"Come before me and see your saviour fallen. Harry Potter, dead by my wand." Harry could hear the great door burst open. The cries that sounded made his heart burst

"NO! Harry! HARRY!"

"HARRY!"

"Oh Harry!"

Harry stayed silent through it all though he wanted to jump up and shout 'come on guys, you didn't actually think I was dead did'ya?'.

"YOU MONSTERS!"

"SCUM!"

"I'll kill you! All of you!"

"ENOUGH!" shrieked the dark lord. A great explosion not unlike a gunshot rang out and the crowds went silent.

"He was found by my death eaters while he tried to make it through the forest, killed while he tried to save himself." Harry was furied by the lies that Voldemort weaved like some viscous spider. Suddenly there was a loud bang as the doors were flung open again.

"YOU LIAR!" the person cried. Harry realised with a jolt that it was Neville. The 'true chosen one'. A spell whistled above him and there was a grunt of pain from the crowd. Harry could hear the scuffle, as Neville was dragged before the dark lord.

"Who are you?" Voldemort demanded.

"Neville Longbottom and I know your lying. Harry would never abandon us!" Neville said angrily before he spat on Voldemort's robes. A hush fell over the crowd. There was a loud resounding smack and Neville was thrown down on top of him. Harry could feel Neville squirm to get off him before he was pulled up. From the choking sound that followed he was being strangled. Harry could wait no longer, if Neville was to defeat the dark lord he had to act.

It was then that many things happened at once.

Quite suddenly there was a twang of what sounded like a slingshot and a scream from Voldemort, which cause him to drop Neville in a heap. There was also the sound of hooves as the centaurs finally joined the fray firing bows at the death eaters causing the death eaters to break ranks. Harry used the distraction to pull out his hidden invisibility cloak. What Neville did next shocked Harry quiet a bit. Seemingly out of nowhere he pulled a silver sword with a ruby hilt out and with one great swing rended Naginii's head from her body. The resounding shriek from Voldemort felt as though it had burst Harry's eardrum. The courtyard descended into chaos after that. But over the din could be heard Neville's cries

"WHERE'S HARRY? WHERE'D HE GO!" Harry slipped slowly through the battle. The fight was moving into the great hall. And the scene Harry saw made his mouth drop to the ground. Many house elves, led by Kreacher were running around with carving Knives and cleavers screaming bloody murder with their high squeaky voices. The sight would have been hilarious if they weren't killing people. Harry watched as the fight drew on. His friend and family were defending them selves. He saw Remus take down the animal killer McNair. Say Yaxley fall to Draco and Lucius, fighting as a pair. Say Dollohov get taken down by Fred and George. Suddenly a great howl broke through the din. Greyback was cornering Ginny. The witch was trying to fire some kind of curse at the werewolf but it was doing nothing. It was then that Harry's respect for Mrs. Weasley grew tenfold. She wrenched the sword of gryffendor from Neville's hand and drove it through the wolf's back with a viscous tearing noise.

"NOT MY DAUGHTER YOU BASTARD!" the roar from Voldemort was intense. He blasted away the four people he's been fighting and turned to the red haired women. Harry's eyes widened and went to step between them, but Neville beat him too it.

"protegro!" he shouted angrily. The shield did absorb the spell but it was so strong that poor Neville was blasted off his feet and thrown across the room where he it his head and slid to the ground unconscious. Harry stared at this and simply turned to the snake like man. Letting his cloak slid to the floor. Still no one noticed him, too shocked at the display Neville had caused.

"Enough." He said loudly. It was then that the people around cleared away.

"HARRY!"

"He's alive!"

"Harry!" the young wizard smiled at their cried and turned back to the so-called dark lord.

"Stay back." Harry said stepping before the crowd. Voldemort sneered.

"Come on Potter, who will be your shield today?"

"No one Tom, I face you as I am, alone." He said. Voldemort sneered

"You dare…"

"I dare, because I have been sent here, not to kill you Tom, but to save you." Harry said sadly.

"Save me? It is you who should be saved! I will kill you boy! I have killed you." Harry sighed.

"And that is why you need saving Tom, because you are missing so much in life." Voldemort sneered with a viscous smile.

"Is this about love again? Dumbledore always nattered on about love and it's power over others. Love never helped you potter! Love didn't stop your mud blood mother from being-"

"But Lily Evans wasn't my mother." Harry said quietly. The crowd gasped and Voldemort stared at him with wild eyes.

"It matters not!"

"It matters! Because you are about to make a mistake that you don't have to make! Tonight I have done what Lily Evans did. I have thrown myself before these people, some people I don't even know, of my own free will. No need for love here. For Lily Evans did not love me as a mother. Nor did she love me any other way."

"She said-" the dark lord began wildly.

"She said my mother would always love me. And they do love me; they have loved me from the moment I was born. Do you want to know something very important about my father?"

"I don't-"

"My father was gay." Harry said loudly. The great hall was filled with gasps and the dark lords eyes twitched.

" What does this matter? How is this going to change anything?"

"Because you made a fatal mistake Tom and it has cost you much more then you can see. If it is my mission to show you the truth, then so be it." Harry said sadly.

"You think you can kill me? I am more powerful then any wizard this world has ever seen! I have done thing that no man has ever dared!"

"And are you still a man enough to realize your mistakes Tom? Where did your humanity go as you did these great things?"

"Humanity is weakness! I broke away from those chains like no man ever dared! Not even the great Dumbledore could dream of what I've done!" the snake like man shrieked.

"Oh he dreamed of it, but he was smart enough to know that he would lose himself if he dared to indulge those dreams."

"Dumbledore is dead by my hand!" Voldemort shrieked.

"Not your hand, no, but by his own." Harry said. Voldemort shrieked in fury.

"You are a dreamy eyed chil-"

"Dumbledore planned his own death, he was dying long before Severus Snape fired that curse, and he would have died that very night from a poison you created."

"Severus Snape was my faithful servant."

"You thought he was… but you made another mistake, years ago… tell me Tom, do you remember the man's wish the summer of 1980? Do you remember what he asked?"

"He asked for your father's life to be spared in a raid. He told me that he wanted to settle a life debt."

"Of course he would tell you that, but he wasn't a spy for nothing, he was Dumbledore's man since that summer you refused his request."

"THIS DOES NOT MATTER!" Voldemort shrieked in fury. "I have still killed Snape! That makes me the master of this wand and he who wiled the wand wins!"

"Oh they wanted it to be that way." Harry said slowly, and Voldemort's eyes widened.

"I'm sure the plan was for Snape to commit suicide afterwards so that you would not have the wand but their plan backfired. Luckily it backfired on you rather then me."

"What are you talking about foolish child?"

"There was a fourth person of interest on the tower that night."

"Who was that?" Voldemort asked scathingly.

"Draco Malfoy." Harry said quietly.

"What is this?!" the man demanded angrily.

"It is something I feel you must know before I save you." Harry said quietly.

"Again with this notion of saving me! It is you who should be saved!" Harry sighed.

"I'm sorry Merope, I tried." Harry whispered before he looked at the creature before him.

"Draco Malfoy was on that tower and he was the one to truly defeat Dumbledore." Harry said quietly. Voldemort's eyes narrowed I anger

"Draco Malfoy did not ki-"

"No he did not, be he did something so much more benevolent." Harry said with a slight smile "he ended the duel."

"What duel?" Voldemort question angrily.

"The silence unspoken duel that begins when two wizards raise their wands, it is a duel that ends when one wizard is defeated or disarmed."

"Draco Malfoy did not defeat-"

"Did you not hear me?" Harry asked quietly "I aid defeated OR DISARMED." Harry could here a gasp of recognition somewhere in the crowd. "Draco Malfoy got as far as disarming Dumbledore before his good heart could drive hi no further, Dumbledore alive, but defeated still." Harry said. Voldemort sneered.

"It matter's not, all I must do is find Draco Malfoy and kill him."

"And you see, that is where this dance of coincidence and error comes to a wonderful closing." Harry said displaying his wand to Voldemort "I have in my hand the taken wand of Draco Malfoy, pried from his hands months ago on the ground of Malfoy manor." Harry said. Voldemort's eyes grew to saucers. "And this is where we must question ourselves. Does that wand know I have disarmed its master? Because if so… I am its true master." Voldemort stared at him. And as the son rose over the great hall window it created a picturess plateau and Harry felt a peace fall over him. As Voldemort's eyes glowed with fury and he rose his wand Harry felt his arm raise and spoke not a spell but a name "Merope." As the telltale green light whipped towards him a strange ethereal spell shot forwards from Harry's and through the oncoming spell dissipating it. The spell slammed into Voldemort and for a second the man's eyes were widened in fear before his face slackened and his body crumbled to the floor. As the room burned orange someone in the crowd gasped and Harry looked up. Merope Gaunt, pearly white and transparent was smiling at him. As she tilted her head to the enchanted ceiling she began to sing an ethereal song. As she did Harry could see a morning glory poking it's way into the great hall through a window slowly unfurl into a bright blue flower. When he looked back at the ghost she was gone. The hall remained silent as Harry stepped forward. He stared down at the corpse of a once great man and sighed before he crumpled down to the floor.

**~Chapter finite Incantatem~**


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: wow... it's been a while, but omg, it's sooooo popular... i'm so happy :{D

thank you all so much

Merlenyn: i hope this answers some of your questions *crosses fingers*

thewolf74,iDrinkCoffee,devels angels: thank you very much u!

alright, ONWARDS!

-TheTransfiguredCanary

* * *

Chapter 3

Harry stretched and sat up is his chair by the door.

"Here you go." Hermione said handing him a warm cup of tea.

"Thanks."

"Any change?"

"No, still the same as when he came in."

"It's been two weeks…"

"I know." Harry said as he looked at the figure lying in the bed. Severus Snape looked gaunt and thin. He had a great gauze strapped to his body and neck. His wound had opened up again when they sent him to the hospital by portkey. Luckily there wasn't any more poison in his system so it would be easy enough to heal. Only before Harry showed up a week ago he found out that they had been content to just let him die. The fury he'd expressed was something the dean of the hospital wouldn't soon forget. He sighed again. Whenever he thought about the battle he remembered what happened after. People said that when he collapsed they thought he had died again. It wasn't until Madame Pomfrey rushed in and declared him living that they celebrated. But as the days drew on people began to wonder if he would ever wake up. They began holding memorials for him all across the country and Harry could still remember the put out face of the daily prophet head when he came to the office for an exclusive. He found that many people where annoyed with him for still being alive. Some even making scathing comments.

'Harry potter is so special; no matter what you do he'll never die! Well my whole family's dead, they ain't coming back anytime soon…'

'How come he can comeback all willy nilly but the rest of us are living on a clock, what makes him different from the rest of us!'

'Harry." Harry jumped. "You where lost in thought again." Hermione said. Harry smiled.

"Thanks."

"Don't think about all those people Harry, they are cruel and viscous. Not to mention their mourning…" Hermione said. "Lets talk about something else… like why you really saved Snape."

"I told-"

"No, Ron told me, you didn't say anything." Hermione said in a matter-of-fact tone. Harry slumped and stared at the woman beside him.

"Promise you won't freak out?"

"Harry, it's me, Hermione."

"Snape is my mum." Harry said. Hermione sputtered on her tea before she thinned her lips and put her cup down.

"I knew it was something like that."

"Of course you did." Harry said with a smile. Hermione returned it

"Well, you did say quite a bit when you were sparring with Voldemort… though I must admit, I was in denial when I first figured it out. I thought, no, that can't be right."

"Yeah, that's how I felt at first." Harry said staring at the man in the hospital bed.

"That explains why the staff let you stay, and why you were so upset with them." Harry laughed. "Also explains why you wanted to save him in the first place."

"Yeah…" Harry was thinking about the battle again. He shook his head "how's Neville?"

'He's fine, got released form the hospital two days ago. You she see the fan girls he's gotten Harry, he cant walk anywhere without a gaggle of squealing girls chasing him, just like Viktor in fourth year."

"I'm sure he's real happy about that." Harry said with a laugh. Hermione smacked him and he laughed some more. "What about Ron?"

"Fine, he's still got the leg in a brace though. Poppy thinks he might need it for life, but Ron keeps say that woman like battle scars." Hermione snorted "I keep wanting to hit him for that." Harry laughed again. "Does he get any other visitors?"

"Remus came in here and stayed for a few days, told me how Tonks and Teddy are doing."

"That's good, I'm really happy for him."

"Yeah, he looks years younger nowadays." Harry paused "the Malfoy's visit too. Narcissa came in here and cleared him up a while back. Combed his hairs and shaved his face. I think he'll appreciate that." Hermione nodded and took a sip of her tea again.

"Do they know why he's still asleep?"

"They say that the rest of the healing is up to him now… he might not wake up if he doesn't want to." Harry said quietly. Hermione placed a hand on his.

" Stay asleep with an amazing son like you? He'll be awake in a week." Hermione said. Harry smiled and looked at the prone man again.

"Yeah…" it took four weeks before Harry was jolted awake by a sound. It sounded like a groan. He jumped to him feet and walked to the bed.

"Mum? Sir, can you hear me?" Harry whispered.

"Har-ry?" the man rasped. Harry pushed the button on the wall and conjured a glass of water.

"Here, drink this." Harry said. Severus took in a gulp and grimaced as he swallowed.

"bl-oody hur-ts." He said with a clenched jaw. His voice was still raspy. A medi witch walked in.

"Mr. Snape! You're awake! We thought-" she stopped when Harry turned and glared at her. It was one of the things he'd despised about the hospital staff. As the weeks drew on they seemed determined that the man in the bed had given up and would die, but still he breathed and his heart beat. Harry knew that Severus Snape was no coward and he would return. "I'll get healer Rockton right away!" she said quickly before puttering out of the room.

"How're you feeling? Harry asked sliding his chair up to the bed.

"Li-ke I w-as bit-ten by a cra-zed sn-ake… oh w-ait." Snape rasped with a sneer. Harry laughed loudly at that which caused Snape to scowl further. The healer walked in.

"it runs in the family I see." Was all he said before he began to attend to the man. After a few potions, all of which Severus sneered at and claimed were off colour or scent, the healer nodded and bid the two goodnight, before he closed the door. The silence that permeated the room was only broken by the steady tick of the clock above the wall.

"s-o…th-e wh-ole w-orld kno-ws?" Severus asked with a raspy drawl. Harry looked about the room.

"Er well, I was taunting Voldemort and it kinda got out of hand. Some smarter people may have understood what I said to be indicators that you were my mother… Hermione knows is what I mean, which means a lot of other people know by accident and others have told smart people what I said and… yeah." Harry finished with a wince. Severus glared and ran a shaky arm through his hair.

"I-n s-hort, m-y repu-tati-on I-s in tat-ters… an-d you-rs is han-ging by a th-read." Harry grimaced.

"Yeah, a bit… if it makes you feel better the only Weasleys that know are Fred and George." Severus blinked at him

"h-ow I-s tha-t supp-osed to m-ake m-e fee-l bette-r?"

"They'd never do anything to betray me?" Harry asked with a weak smile. Severus grunted and tried in vain to sit up. Harry rushed forward only to be waved off by Severus. The man struggled to raise himself for two minutes before Harry ignored the man's loud protest and helped him up.

"I c-oul hav-e do-ne it m-yself!" he growled angrily. Harry just laughed

"That's where my stubborn streak comes from then." He said quietly. Severus visibly stiffened.

"rig-ht… ho-w di-d,"

"Your pensieve." Harry said quietly. Severus's eyebrow raised and he stared at the young man, shaking his head.

"wh-at I-s I-t w-ith y-ou a-nd pen-sieves." He said quietly.

"Curiosity isn't a sin." Harry quoted almost silently. Severus paused before he gave a short nod. He looked to the side table and saw the crossword and quill. Underneath it was a pad of paper and, taking it, he began to write.

_My throat is in quite a lot of pain; this method will suffice for speech._

"Oh jeez yeah sure, no problem." Harry said with a wince.

Thank you

"So… um can I ask a question?" Harry said quietly. Severus raised an eyebrow.

You just did

"Ha ha very funny." Harry said with an unimpressed glare. The man appraised him silently.

_Your glare is not nearly intimidating enough for me to be remotely mollified by that look._

"Just shush! So… how exactly did lily and you become friends? She was so… she was nasty in your sixth year but you seemed like friends I that other memory I saw."

_Bringing up two very painful situations in one question, it must be a talent._

"Come off it, juts tell me, I want to know." Harry grumbled. Severus let out a breath of air and leaned over the paper pad for quite some time. After a wile he handed it to Harry.

_We met when I was a child, she lived in another neighbourhood just a few blocks away, and her magical talent intrigued me at that young age. Her sister was cowardly and terribly afraid of our magic and it was quiet enjoyable tormenting her I must admit. Over the years lily and I grew closer and when we got our Hogwarts letter I was most excited. _Harry noted a pause there, like Severus did not know how to proceed.

It was the end of fifth year that I realised I was rather smitten with certain male students who will remain unnamed, ( no that is not permission for you and your friends to go snooping around and find out anyway!)

Harry laughed at that line, really his mother knew him so well

_It was that summer that I revealed my inclinations to lily. I was expecting a supportive friend. Instead I was treated with disgust and anger. It was a very traumatizing experience. One I do not wish to repeat. _

Harry stared at those lines and sighed.

"I wouldn't want to either." He said quietly.

Are you of like inclinations? If you are I promise t be nothing but supportive and understanding, and if you need any help telling your friends I am willing to be present.

"Mum, I'm strait as a royal guard!" he said with a laugh. Severus looked a little put out and took the paper out of his son's hand before crumpling it up and throwing it into the wastebasket by the bed. Harry laughed and smiled.

"So… did you ever talk o dad again, after… the stuff?" Harry asked. Severus huffed

What is it with you and difficult questions?

"Blame Hermione and her good influence!" Harry said with a laugh. Severus rolled his eyes.

Please! Her good influence was a blessing! Without it, I'd have gone grey years ago.

"Quit dodging the question!" Harry said with a huff, swatting Severus arm. The man sighed and turned back to the pad of paper

_I tried to speak to him after their wedding in Godric's hallow but __that bi__your mo__ Lily would not let me speak to him. There were many cutting insults hurled back and forth and Sirius Black quite roughly threw me from the property. I saw him once afterwards in a quidditch store in Diagon alley but he refused to look at me or use my name. It was_

Harry notice another pause

Weakening. I don't remember the following days, most likely because I consumed enough alcohol that I should have died long ago

Harry sighed and looked at the man in the bed before him. He was swallowing roughly and looking the young man up and down.

"Did you love him still? Do you still love him?" Severus sighed heavily.

With almost all of my heart.

"Almost?" Harry asked looking up for the pad. He was blessed to see Severus smile weakly.

_Part of it holds love for you, and I know that is incredibly cliché and sugared, but it is the truth. _Harry laughed.

"Naw, it's perfectly fine." Harry said before Severus rubbed his eyes and wrote a good night. Harry smiled and leaned against the wall and slept. Two days later Harry and the professor where playing a game of wizards chess. Or rather Harry was watching himself get destroyed while Severus quipped at him for all of his wrong moves.

"-and you-r knig-ht shou-ldn't have b-een put h-ere. It o-pens up yo-ur de-fence." Severus said before he tapped his rook. "H-5" Harry lifted his arms into the air "ch-eck mat-e."

"You always win! How do you always win?" Harry asked with a huff. Severus let out a raspy chuckle. This was followed by an equally raspy cough.

"bloo-dy h-ell" Severus grimaced wiping his mouth. Harry grimaced in sympathy.

" That's sounds terrible." A voice said from the door. The pair turned to see Lucius standing in the door, leaning heavily on his cane.

"Luc-ius." Severus said holding out his hand to the man. Lucius hobbled over and shook it before he sat himself on the other side of the bed. He looked at the chess board.

"Who's winning?"

"Won, and it's mum. Bloody never lets me win." Harry said with a put-upon sigh. Lucius laughed heartily.

"Ruthless as ever Severus."

"He wo-n't l-earn if th-ere i-sn't pai-n in–volved." Harry harrumphed which cause the two men to laugh again. Severus coughed again and grunted.

"Why does that happen?" Lucius asked, offering Severus a handkerchief.

"Naginii's venom damaged his vocal cords and the muscle in his neck. They should be fine after a bit of therapy, at least that's what the healer said." Harry said while Severus wiped his mouth he nodded and turned back to his friend.

"t-he da-y I acc-ept p-ublic th-erapy is th-e d-ay I gi-ve yo-u per-mission to k-ill me –Lu-cius." The two visitors laughed at that. "I'm se-rious!"

"Oh are you? I don't see a dog collar anywhere? And what about biscuits?" Lucius asked. Harry snorted at that. Snape just glared.

"mak-e tha- j-oke ag-ain, I d-are y-ou." Lucius just nodded his head and rubbed his hand together.

"Harry! I'm have to… Mr. Malfoy." Hermione started excitedly, stopping in the door, staring at the blond aristocrat. The two stared at each other for a long time before he stood and walked up to the girl.

"It's nice to finally meet you in a proper setting miss. Granger."

"Granger-Weasley." She said quietly. The man stopped and stared at her.

"Right, Mrs. Granger-Weasley. Your intelligence is known far and wide. It's a pleasure." He extended his hand. Hermione stared at him before she smiled and took his hand, shaking it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Mr. Malfoy. Your courage in the final battle was astounding. Truly inspiring." With that she pulled out another chair and sat next to Harry. Harry could see the blond man release breath and walk back to his chair.

"wh-at is th-is? Kin-g's Cro-ss?" Severus asked. The trio laughed again.

"Granger-Weasley?" Harry asked.

"That's what I came rushing to tell you! Ron asked me to marry him!" Hermione said with a wide smile.

"Finally!" Harry said with an exasperated smile. "Tell him from me that it took him long enough. How did he do it? Did he do it in a restaurant like he said he was going to?" Hermione stared at him wide eyed.

"Harry James Potter! You evil man!" she said smacking him hard on the shoulder. The three wizards laughed even as Harry rubbed his shoulder from the pain. Severus wouldn't be released for another two weeks and in that time Harry had lost spectacularly in al least a hundred chess matches. He became quite acquainted with Lucius Malfoy and watched a friendship between Severus and Remus bud and slowly bloom. By now he could easily see both men as uncles. Narcissa was definitely an aunt in his eyes and Draco a cousin. Finally the day came. Harry and Severus walked out of the hospital together.

"Well I suppose now is where we part ways." Severus said quietly as the pair walked down the street. Harry turned to him with a silly grin.

"What makes you say that?"

"Surly you wish to go stay with your friends…" Severus said quietly. Harry laughed.

"I've been staying with friends my whole life." He took one of the bags Severus was holding and swung it over his shoulder. "I kinda wanna know what home feels like." Severus stared at him.

"I don't have much to offer."

"I don't need much." Harry said Severus stared at him. "Come on mum." Harry said with a grumble. Severus scowled and smacked the boy on the back of the head. Harry laughed and ran ahead like a child. Severus felt his lips quirk in a slight smile and followed the boy at a normal pace. They arrived at the house two hours later. Severus had to admit the neighbourhood had not improved in the slightest… if anything it had gotten worse. He slowly led Harry down the streets, warning him away from certain area of people until they came to the last house on the block. It was a red brick house but it was pretty badly stained, making it appear black instead of red. The roof looked like it was probably leaking in a few placed and the windows were covered in dust. Severus cringed and walked up the uneven path.

"As you can see the house is in quite a lot of disrepair…" Severus began quietly. Harry just looked around.

"Aw it's nothing a few hours of elbow grease can't fix." Harry said. Severus snorted at his determination. He pulled out his keys and unlocked the house. As soon as he opened the door he was assaulted with the musty smell of old wood and mould.

"Home sweet home." He said with a crinkle of his nose. He walked through the house to the kitchen "it's not much… but it's…" Severus began staring around at the barren room with it's chewed table legs, stained floor and counters and cobweb filled cupboards "not much." He finished weakly.

"Are you kidding!" Harry said with a smile looking around the living room. The furniture was dated and moulding but classy and the lone widow made the room surprisingly bright once the curtains were moved aside. The bookshelves that walled the room were tall and imposing, covered in dust, but gave off a feeling of safety. "This place is awesome!" Severus looked around dismally.

"We are obviously looking at two different houses." Harry rolled his eyes and walked over to the couch before he flopped down in it. It was squishy and he sunk into it slowly. He sighed and leaned his head back before her flourished his arm and put them behind his back.

"Aw, this is perfect." He said with a sigh. Severus raised an eyebrow he drew his wand and flicked it in Harry's direction. Harry was lifted and unceremoniously dumped down the floor with a thump "ow! What was that for?" he asked with a pout.

"You are helping me clean Mr. Potter." Severus said with narrowed eyes. Harry huffed.

"Yes professor." He said with a groan. Severus looked about the house. He looked back at Harry.

"How much money did James leave you exactly?" he asked evenly. Harry blinked.

"Why?"

"Because…" Severus looked around the house. "This place isn't fit for doxies to infest… let alone live in… I think it's time for me to say goodbye to this old house." He said quietly. Harry blinked at him.

"Are you sure?" he asked quietly "I mean… this is were you raised me and all…" Severus blinked, then he threw back his head and laughed.

"Harry, this is not where you were raised." He said quietly. "The house you were raised in was protected by wards of the potter blood line. One day I foolishly left the house, probably to drink, when I tried to come back in the wards would not let me because James no longer considered me kin. That house is still somewhere out in Nottingham, likely collecting dust." He said with a slight smile "this is the house I was raised in, and I have no fond memories of this place besides my mother's ashes buried in the back garden." Severus said with a touch of bitterness "I have held onto it for nothing but nostalgia and because I had no where else to go." Harry looked pensive

"Wait… the potter wards… they let you if the last heir considers you kin right?"

"Yes."

"Then I can get you in! I'm of age and the last heir of the Potters!" Harry said with a smile. Severus blinked.

"But do you consider us kin?" he asked with slight shock.

"Consider? Consider you kin?! You're my Bloody mother! Of course I consider you urk!" Harry choked on suds.

"Wash your mouth out young man." Severus said angrily while stowing his wand. Harry spit the suds out into the kitchen sink. After a while he took a drink of water gargled and spit. He did that two more timed before he looked back at the man, who was sitting at the kitchen table serenely, with a scowl.

"As I was saying," he said with a huff. Severus had the decency not to chuckle "you're my mother, if I didn't consider you kin I wouldn't bee here." Harry said. Severus looked at him with hallow eyes.

"I'm not much of a mother." He said weakly, Harry knelt before the man.

"I'm okay with that." He said before he got up and gave the man a hug. Severus was shocked and awkwardly patted the boys back. Harry stood up and held out his hand. Together the mother and son left the run down house and apperated to a small village outside Nottingham. Harry looked around as they walked through the town. He turned to Severus and could see that he was a bit shaken. "You alright?"

"It's been so long…." Was Severus's response. They walked down a few more streets before

"Severus?!" they pair turned to the blond somewhat elderly woman behind them "it is you! Oh my goodness! And is this little Harry? My word I haven't seen you since you were a baby!" she said holding Harry's shoulders. Severus was still in a state of shock.

"Elizabeth?"

"The very same! Don't tell me you forgot about me!" she said giving Severus a hug. Harry looked at him with wide eyes. He rolled his eyes.

"No, I merely assumed you had moved on, did your divorce go well?"

"Very, and I got the house so I stayed, it's the nicest house in the whole neighbourhood after all, didn't you say you and James had your eyes on it?" she said with a slight smile. Severus nodded with a bit of nostalgia on his face.

"Yes, but it was too far out of our budget." Severus said with a nod. Elizabeth smiled.

"It's nice that your back in the neighbourhood, and it's nice to see Harry again after so many years, the whole mishap was a tragedy I tell you, sometimes you have to forgive your lovers for their mistakes…. Of course I divorced my husband so maybe I'm not one to talk. Well, I best get home, I've got to feed the dogs." Elizabeth said with a laugh. Severus nodded gruffly .she smiled and turned away. The pair turned to but she called back to them "oh and Severus! Don't be a stranger, come to tea sometime darling." With that she walked away.

"Dogs? What, is she like Mrs. Fig or something?" he asked.

"No, Arabella is a cat obsessesed mad woman. Elizabeth's ex-husband breed hunting dogs, she's quite rich," he added at Harry's raised eyebrow "but doesn't let the money cloud her judgement of others. She's very kind and is quite helpful if you are struggling through moral dilemma. She's also quite intelligent, form what I've heard Arabella is almost as senile as Albus was." Harry laughed

"Just a bit." Together they walked down a few more blocks Harry gulped at all of the sprawling mansions and decadent estates

"Er… I though I was raised in a detached townhouse." Harry said weakly. Severus chuckled as they passed around a corner. There was a row of delicate little houses, not small but homely compared to the grand mansions. Harry smiled "now this is more like it." As they walked down the street some people would step out of their houses and wave at Severus smiling broadly. He sighed as they reached the end of the street. There was the house Harry had seen in memories. It was redbrick with blue trimmings over a white deck. The garden was over run with weeds and the yard was in serious need of mowing. The hedge was wild looking and Harry could see that paint was chipping. And yet, it was better then the other house, because everywhere was so bright. As they stood before the house Harry heard his mother take a shaky breath. He looked over to see his mother composing himself. "Maybe we should come back later" Severus shook his head before standing up straight and straightening his clothes. The two stepped over the threshold of the gate and Severus sucked in a breath. Harry shuddered as the wards slowly gave and let the two enter. Severus clenched his left hand twice before shaking it.

"The wards shocked me." He said with a grunt. Harry giggled which earned him a smack on the back of the head. The two walked up the walkway and up the steps when Harry realised something with a jolt.

"We don't have any keys… and I'm guessing the door is warded against unlocking charms." Severus smiled and nodded.

"Indeed." He said before reaching into the mailbox. He withdrew a key with a smirk and unlocked the door. It opened with a loud creak before it banged against the wall. Harry stared at the house he had only seen in memories and walked into it fully. The place looked frozen in time and unchanged, save for a thick layer of dust over everything. There was even a coffee cup and a set of keys lying on the kitchen table. There was one coat hanging on the coat rack. In felt lonely, like the house was mourning it's owners. And as Harry stepped in he felt a sort of peace fall over him. He felt like at last, after years of searching… "Welcome home." Severus murmured with a smile, and Harry smiled too.

"Yeah." He said setting his bag down on the floor, tossing up a plume of dust.

"envasco." Severus spoke with a flick of his wrist. The hall was cleared of dust. "Would you?" he asked with a nod. Harry nodded and picked up his bag and pulled out his wand. He cleared the stairs before he went into each room. The bathroom was mercilessly clean save for dust and a plant growing on the open windowsill. Harry stared at it before he turned away, letting it grow. He went into the spare room and cleared the dust. He placed his bag on the mattress and left the room. He walked down the hall and stared at the sign on the last door for a few seconds. Harry's room. He took a deep breath and opened the door. He looked around brushing his hand on the children's books. He picked up the stuffed dog in the crib. The leather collar had a name stitched into it.

"Snuffles." He said with a weak voice. The black plush dog stared back up at him. He swallowed and put it back.

"Black gave you that infernal thing…" Severus said from the door. Harry whipped around sheepishly. "I didn't want you to have it of course…" Severus picked up the dog and squeezed it. "But once he gave it to you, you wouldn't let it out of your sight… you loved it…" Harry watched as his mother stared at the dog sadly.

"At privet drive… there was this man… Mr. Weston… he died when I was six but… he had this dog that looked like Sirius… I remember loving that dog… I could never explain why… but… it made me feel safe." Harry swallowed heavily. "They had to put it down when Mr. Weston died, because it wouldn't stop barking at everyone… except me… it liked me… they wanted me to take it… but Uncle Vernon wouldn't let me… he did like Charlie… and Charlie didn't like him." Harry said quietly. Severus dropped the dog and pulled Harry into a tight hug. The two stood in the nursery, holding each other, as silent tears streaked down each other's cheeks. After a while Harry began to yawn and rubbed his eyes. Severus led his son to the spare room, waving his wand so that the bed had sheets and a blanket. He settled his son down and pulled over the covers. "I'm too old to be tucked in…" Harry slurred tiredly. Severus looked at him and shook his head.

"Never." Severus said before placing a gentle kiss on Harry's scar and leaving the room. Harry smiled and turned onto his side and drifting off to sleep. Outside Severus sighed and rubbed his eyes. He stared at the door beside Harry's room. He walked over to it and stood in front of the door. He stood there, staring, but couldn't will himself to open the door. He slowly turned away and went back to the kitchen. He sat in the chair that was pulled out staring at the cup of tea in front of him. He could remember doing the same thing, almost twenty years ago, trying to forget the same thing. When he went upstairs to sleep, James wouldn't be there… and he would never be there again. Severus felt a tear slide down his cheek. He abruptly stood. He couldn't stay there another second. He swept out of the kitchen and through the living room he paused at the door and glanced up the stairs before he turned back to the door and left, the door clicking behind him with a quiet note of finality. As he walked out the gate and turned down the street he pulled his cloak closer around him and walked briskly. Coming back to the house was a bad idea. Harry would understand, he couldn't stay, not now, after so much had changed.

"Severus." Severus stopped and turned. Elizabeth was standing in the sidewalk with a large greyhound at her side and a severe face that would put Minerva McGonagall in her place. "I think it's time for our tea." She said angrily. Before she turned back down the street. Severus swallowed and followed. They turned down another street to a driveway with a massive gate. Elizabeth pressed the button and the gate swung open with a creak. They walked down the driveway briskly until they came to Elizabeth's massive manor. The entered through her large door where she passed the dogs leach to her elderly butler.

"Shall I bring tea to the wood room my lady?"

"Please Edmaund." Elizabeth said not stopping at she went up the stairs.

"Hello mame." A young woman said coming forward with a broad smile.

"Ah, the new maid." Elizabeth said with a sigh. "Well give us a turn about." She said. The woman smiled and turned around. Elizabeth sighed. "Well, you'll do." She turned her head to Severus and gestured for him to follow. The woman smiled and followed behind them. As Elizabeth opened a door she looked at the maid.

"Miss… oh, dear me I'm sorry I didn't get your name."

"Maria." She said with a smile. Elizabeth groaned quietly

"Well Maria, when I'm with someone, you don't follow." She said with a sad face. Maria lowered her gaze to her feet.

"Yes mame, sorry mame." She said quietly. Elizabeth smiled slightly. She patted the young girls shoulder.

"Severus, after you." she said leaving the door opened. Severus walked into the room and sat down in the stuffed tweed brown chair across from the red sofa. Elizabeth closed the door with a snap and sat in the sofa.

"What were you thinking Severus?" Elizabeth said with an angry hiss. Severus just swallowed and looked at the window. Elizabeth huffed and let her hands sit in her lap. There was a knock on the door.

"Enter." Elizabeth said evenly. Edmaund entered with a laden tea trolley and began placing the dishes on the coffee table between the pair. "Thank you Edmaund." Elizabeth said taking some of the dishes from his hands. As he placed the last dish he took the trolley to the door.

"Shall I tell the cook to postpone dinner my lady?" Elizabeth shook her head.

"No no Edmaund, this conversation will be quick." She said waving her hand. Severus sneered. Edmaund looked at him before bowing out of the room. When the door closed Elizabeth began again as she prepared their tea.

"You are many things Severus Snape. Many things." She passed him his tea. "But I did not put you down as a coward." Severus slammed his teacup on the table.

"I am not a coward!" he shouted angrily. Elizabeth stared at him with a blank face.

"Then why are you running?" Severus stood and turned away to standing away from her, leaning against the wall that framed the fireplace. "Your son needs you Severus."

"I can't… I can't be in that house." He said with a weak voice as his shoulders sunk

"Why? Because it hurts?" Elizabeth asked placing her cup down and standing. Severus sighed and turned to throwing himself into the chair next to the fireplace. He held his head in his hands and sighed Elizabeth stood by the wooden chair that was paired with the other stuffed sofa, bracing herself on it's back.

"Well, are you weak Severus?"

"I'm not weak." He spat angrily.

"Then prove it." She said with a severe tone. Severus sat back and stared at her. Then he scoffed. "What? What's so funny?"

"Albus was right… Harry is a lot like me…" Severus said, running his hand through his hair. Elizabeth pursed her lips.

"While I despise that man… I must agree… because if he's right, you know will happen if his own mother abandons him." Severus sucked in a breath. Elizabeth leaned forward a bit. "You've made many mistakes Severus, and they have ruined your life, don't let your son make them too." Severus stared at her before he stood and straightened his robes. He swept to the door and opened it. He stood in the doorway and looked back as Elizabeth moved to sit on the sofa and enjoy her tea.

"Thank you Elizabeth." The woman smiled and bowed her head before Severus swept from the room. When he left she sat back with a smug look on her face. She chuckled and drank her tea with a smile. Severus left the manor with a long stride and a quick pace. He made his way through the town with an equal gate only stopping to unlock the door to the house. He took of his cloak and hung it on the coat rack before he quietly ascended the stairs. He peeked into the spare room and saw Harry fast asleep, spread-eagled with a gaping mouth, snoring loudly, unknowing that his mother had just barely stopped himself from leaving him forever. Severus closed the door silently and turned to the hallway. He went to the room that he would not open before and took the handle. He opened it with a gentle push and felt his breath catch. The room was dusty but unchanged. Severus murmured a barely audible cleaning charm and moved into the room. He sat on the bed where he had sat those sixteen years ago, holding the picture of him and James standing arm in arm in front of the Hogwarts express, smiling and waving, stealing a kiss once in a while. Severus wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. He set the picture on his dresser and stared at the mirror on the dresser. He slowly undressed and slipped into his dressing gown. He held onto one of the posts on the bed and stared at the mattress. He swallowed and lifted the blanket before settling into the bed. As he sighed and turned to his left his eyes widened. He pulled the pillow to his face and his eyes filled with tears. With a sob he held the pillow to his chest and slowly cried himself to sleep.

~Chapter finite Incantatum~

* * *

A/N: alright…. Let me explain something. Severus's actions to be specific. I know some of you are probably thinking, what the hell?! he was all gentle with Harry not five seconds ago and now he's abandoning him? What's the author thinking? Let me explain: years ago, Severus ran away from his grief and never looked back, whether it's because he never could or because he didn't want to is irrelevant. It's been almost twenty years since then, and for twenty years he's used the war as a barrier to shield himself from the pain. He spent twenty years telling himself: "I can't feel sad because if I do I'll feel bad so I'm going to pretend that the war makes me feel bitter and angry because I am feeling bitter and angry but not because of the war. So I have to protect Harry but not feel anything for him because if I do the war will be lost and then I'll feel sad". now the war is over and he's back at the place where all of his grief began. When he was with Harry he had his shield of "protect Harry" but the second he was alone and was facing the reality of the situation his barriers broke and he was forced to feel all the pain and anger and grief again. And so he did the only thing he knew to keep himself safe. He ran. Now, a lot of this story is based off of personal experience. When this story was conceived I was going through a very difficult part of my life. I was suffering from depression due to my grandpa's death as well as some other personal reasons. I understand what it's like to run from the pain you feel because it hurts. So don't judge Severus for his actions… he's finally mourning. After almost twenty years, he's mourning.

-TTC


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"See you Harry!" a woman waved to him as she walked down the hall in the opposite direction. Harry smiled and turned back.

"See you tomorrow." As Harry turned back around he screeched to a halt. "Luna?"

"Hi Harry…" Luna said with a serene smile. She turned around and walked down the hall. Harry stood staring at her, unmoving. Luna turned back and looked at him. "Harry?" Harry shook his head.

"Coming." They left the building into the mall that it was connected to.

"So, why are you working at St. Mungo's when you don't have your potions degree?"

"Shhh! Don't talk so loud! Not just cause there are people around… my supervisor doesn't know."

"I know he doesn't, I could see the guilty look in your eyes when I saw you in the hall." Luna said as they sat down on a bench in the mall hallway. Harry winced and rubbed his neck. Then he frowned.

"Hang on, how come you were there?" Luna smiled

"I volunteer at the psychiatric ward." Harry snorted.

"Of course." Luna smiled.

"So, why are you lying to the hospital staff?" Harry sighed.

"It's just… well it's a bunch of things… the first is… well I've decided I don't want to be an arror anymore."

"Understandable." Luna said. She stood and together the pair stated walking through the mall.

"I mean, I spent my whole life chasing after those people… and it was a waste you know? They weren't worth the effort… and now that… that it's all finished…I don't know… I guess I wanted to be… free." Harry said cryptically as they passed by muggle shoppers. Luna smiled.

"What else? Why did you choose to become a doctor instead of a policeman?" Luna asked with a wink. Harry smiled, and then frowned again.

"My granddad was a doctor… and… well I'm named after him… I guess I wanted to get back to my roots… I did some digging and apparently my whole family were doctors… except for a few lawyers… my dad was the first one to not go into medicine in four generations… so, yeah." Harry said. Luna frowned.

"But even then… we were all welcomed back to complete our education at Hogwarts… why aren't you waiting, why aren't you spending time with professor Snape? You know, getting to know him?" Harry's face fell and he ran his hand through his hair.

"That's the last part… I needed to get away from… from him." Harry said with a swallow. Luna looked at him sadly.

"Your mother?" Harry swallowed and nodded.

"You remember how he was in school? He was always so…"

"Mean?"

"No, it's not what happened between us… I made peace with that… it's just… he was so…unflappable… nothing hurt him, nothing… he got angry, but I'd never seen him cry, or feel… sad…" Harry said with a cringe. Luna looked at him sadly. She leaned her head on his shoulder and sighed.

"He's missing your dad then?"

"It's not just that Luna… it's not just him… it's the whole house… it feels… hollow… almost empty. I mean, we're living there, but we're not filling it…" Harry said with a sigh leaning his head on hers. "I can't stay in that house… I can barely get to sleep at night… so I leave early every morning and go home late at night."

"Well that might affect your sleep." Luna said with a slight smile. Harry glared half-heartedly.

"You know what I mean…" Luna sighed and snuggled her head into his shoulder.

"I do." Harry looked down at her before he tentatively put his arm around her shoulder. He sighed.

"What am I going to do Luna?" Luna sighed.

"I don't know Harry." The pair found and bench and sat down watching as people walked by thinking about all of the grief they had felt and were feeling. Meanwhile Severus Snape was staring into his bathroom mirror with a sombre expression. He was expected over for tea with Elizabeth in twenty minutes, but he was not up to it at all. He sighed again and put down his comb. Really, what was the point? A knock on his door made him frown. Elizabeth never came to him. she sent letters that could or could not be answered. As severus opened the door we stared at the woman in the door before he sneered and went to slam it in her face. But a snake head cane handle stopped him.

"Really severus..." Narsicca quipped with her hands on her hips. "We only here to help."

"That deos not fill me with comfort… the last time you tried to help me you set me up with your sister."

"At least I didn't set you up with Bellatrix." Severus's eye twitched. He turned to Lucius.

"Please tell me your not agreeing with this Lucius…"

"My old friend, we're worried about you, don't you under…" another knock made him pause. Severus grumbled about unwanted guests and went to the door. Remus was standing there with a determined expression.

"You're coming with me." He said before he grabbed Severus's arm and all but dragged him from the house.

"Not so fast." Lucius said evenly, stepping onto the porch with an uneven but devinare sweep. "We got here first." He hissed with a smirk. Remus stood there, frozen comically, his face a mask shock, opening and closing his mouth like a fish. After a while he cleared his throat and stood up, straightening his robes.

"Mr. Malfoy, what the devil are you doing here?" Lucius looked the werewolf up and down before he smirked.

"Judging by the fervered entrance and quick pace you were trying to capture my prey, we have a common goal." Remus's eyebrows furrowed.

"We do?"

"Indeed. But, I must insist we try my method first… it will most definetly see results. Come on Severus, indulge me." The man said at Severus's distressed face. The gaunt potions master groaned and let his shoulders fall.

"Lucius…"

"please my friend… I only want what's best, come now." With that Lucius pated him on the shoulder, roughly shaking him, and together they walked down the path and apperated away.

"So… where are they going?" Remus asked.

"Moor fog dance bar. Apparently, and I do not want to know how my husband knows this, it's the best place to pick up single gay wizards in all of London." Narcissa said with a smile. She looked up at Remus and frowned at his expression. The man groaned and put his face in his hand.

"Lucius you fool." Meanwhile Severus was sitting at a table horrified with the situation.

"Trust me severus, this is just what you need." Lucius said with a smile.

"Lucius, I-" Severus started with a growl.

"Hush, I'll fix everything, just trust me." Lucius said before he winked and walked over to the bar. Severus let out a breath of air in defeat and leaned back in his chair, looking forlorn. For three hours he waved off the advances of drunken men looking for a one night stand. Finally he was broken out of his revere by a tall man with long black hair and an even tan smileing above him.

"Let me geuss," severus began deadpanned "You come from a moderately weathly pureblood family of academics, your hobbies are quidditch and muggle football, your dream is to be an arror and you want children." By the end the man was staring at him blankly, having no way to respond. Sevrus heaved a heavy sigh and stood. "I'm sorry, but you are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time…good luck." With that he turned on his heel and walked right up to Lucius. "I have been here for four hours, I do not need you to medle with my life. I don't. EVER! Want. ANYONE! To replace james. And the next time your wife decides that I am lonely and need a new husband," Severus leaned into Lucius' face with burning hallow eyes "Don't. Try." With that he swept out of the club. He apperated to the house and flopped down onto the sofa. He sat there for about ten minutes when someone knocked at the door. Severus heaved him self up. "Lucius. If that's you I swear on my mother's grave I'll," he wrenched the door open and stoped. "Remus."

"Severus." Remus said with a smile. "Come on." He said with a gesture. Severus groaned.

"Not you too."

"Oh no." Remus said with a smile and a shake of his head "I'd think after that you'd need a drink." Ten minuetes later the two were sitting at a table sipping on drinks.

"Honestly I don't know what they were thinking, I mean it's obvious you're not ready for a relationship right now, personally I-"

"I don't want to know your opinion right now Lupin." Severus said with a quiet murmer. Remus closed his mouth and said nothing. After a few seconds of tense silence remus cleared his throst.

"So, how's Harry?" Severus scoffed and pushed his drink away.

"I hardly see him… he comes in, eats dinner at midnight, goes to bed, wakes up at six, takes an apple and a piece of toast and leaves… either he's found himself a job…" Severus trailed off. Remus looked at him forlornly.

"Or he's avoiding you." he finished grimly. Severus flinched minutely as he emptied his tumbler. There was several more moments of awkward silence before Remus cleared his throat and excused himself. Severus sighed and played with his empty glass.

"Hey, this seat taken?" A voice with an American accent asked. Severus looked up. In front of him was a tall man in his late thirties with dirty blond hair and deep blue eyes. Severus looked at him and shook his head. "Can I buy you a drink?"

"If this is a way to get into my robes I must inform you that it will not work." Severus said deadpanned. The man just laughed.

"I don't like to start things with people when I don't even know their names… I'm Jonathan." He said with a smile. Severus swallowed.

"Severus."

"Well, pleased to meet you Severus. Now I couldn't help but notice you looking oh so forlorn from across the bar." Jonathan said. Severus looked at the man untrustingly.

"Again, you will not be getting any kind of sexual attention from me tonight, I suggest you leave it all well alone." Jonathan threw his head back and laughed.

"Would you belive that I came across the bar to talk to you because you seemed like you needed a fresh pair of ears." Severus frowned at the man.

"What do you mean?" Jonathan took a swig of his drink and smiled.

"It seemed to me that your friend had heard all of your woes before and he seemed almost… well for lack of a better term, uncaring. I'm not saying that he doesn't care." Jonathan said when Severus opened his mouth in anger "But he seemed a little deadpanned." Severus sighed and put his face in one of his hands.

"Its probably my charming personality." He drawled sarcasticly. Jonathan chuckeled. Severus sighed again and leaned back in his chair. "He's not even my friend, we were rivals in school, he's my…" severus tooka fortifying breath. "one of my…" he sighed and dropped his head in his hands again.

"your what?" jonathan asked. Severus gulped and looked up, dropping his hand on the table.

"one of my husbands friends." He finished. Jonathan frowned harshly.

"why don't you want to talk about your husband? Is he beating you? if-"

"no it's not that belive me, I would have… have murdered him myself." Severus said with a hitch. Jonathan's eyes widened.

"your husband was murdered? Gods! I'm sorry! I should go." Jonathan stood to leave. Severus waved him down.

"sit down Jonathan. Yes, my husband is dead… hes been dead for nearly twenty years…"

"oh… it never gets easier deos it.' Jonathan said with a sigh. Sverus frowned.

"You lost a spouse as well?"

"My wife and son." Jonathan said gravely. Severus let out a breath of air.

"I can't imagine what it would be like to lose your son as well… my husband and I had a son as well. he's living with me now, with the war going on it wasn't safe for him to stay with me."

"I've read about your war, what I wouldn't give to meet harry potter, shake his hand, thank him. he saved so many lives…"

" yes." Severus said taking an imaginary sip from his glass. Jonathan shook his head and sighed.

"they were killed in a car crash of all things. A car crash. Killing a fully trained witch… I was such a fool. It was raining you see and I told her she should wait but my wife… she was so stubborn, said it couldn't wait. She stomped out and she never came home." The two men silently sat, ruminating on the deaths they had seen in their lives.

"so, is that why your wearing black?" sevrus looked down at his robes.

"I suppose…at least I still look good. my husband always said I looked good in black." Jonathan laughed hollowly.

"personally I think it makes you look like an angry cloud." Severus looked at him and sighed.

"I've been called worse. Great Bat. Greasy Git. Slimy Bastard. Sneaky little snake…" severus took another imaginary drink as jonathan gaped like a fish. His face contorted into an angry snarl.

"who called you that! They sound like a bastard."

"my son." Severus said deadpanned. Jonathan faultered and gasped again.

"he said that to you? at your face? When?!"

"during his school years… I was his potions professor. Add the fact that he din't know I was his other parent and our supposed opposoite sides on the war and you have a recipe for mutal contempt… or at least, contempt and extreme remorse." Jonathan was gapping again only this time there was a glow in his eyes.

"wait… Severus… as in Severus _Snape_! Your famous!" Severus blinked in shock.

"I hardly think I'm famous-"

"you invented the veritasium potion! Your celebrated throughout all of the states as a hero! do you know how many lives you've saved! God I met you! I was bloody flirting with you! man wait till my cousin hears about this one!"

"when were you flirting with me!?" Severus asked angrily. Jonathan paused and blushed crimson.

"just a bit at the start, when I offered to buy you a drink… I stopped…" Severus stood angrily and stormed away. "hey! Wait!" Jonathan followed severus out onto thestreet. When he touched severus shoulder the man whipped around and smacked him soudly across the face.

"don't.".

"what did I do? Was it the flirting, I'm sorry." Jonathan asked. Severus sneered.

"no, it was the fact that you made me feel sorry for you." Jonathan frowned.

"what are you talking about?"

"I assume the sob story about your wife and son is a tried and true way you get people to like you. how many of your friends started out as well meaning mourners I wonder." Jonathan blinked at him. then he began to chuckle then he laughed out loud. After a while he wiped a tear from his eye.

"I wasn't lying about my wife Severus… what I left out is that I'm bisexual." It was Severus's turn to blink.

"oh…"

"yeah. Oh." Jonathan said with a smile and a wince as he touched his tender cheek. Severus winced along with him.

"I have a salve for that if you like..."

"Please." Jonathan said holding out his hand. Severus reached into his robes and handing him the requested potion. "You've got one good arm." Jonathan grumbled as he spread it on his face. Severus snorted and when it was done jonathan looked good as new.

"I am very sorry... I'm sure your night isn't what you planned it to be..."

"Are you kidding?" Jonathan said with a laugh "I planned to sit at that bar and get wasted before you and your friend walked in." Jonathan handed back the bottle. Severus turned back to the bar.

"Right, Remus..."

"Leave him, he'll figure it out. Come with me, I'm the one who ruined your night." With that the two walked off down the street and when Remus returned to the table he was rather confused as to where Severus had went. The pair walked for two hours talking about this and that, slowly become friends, until at last they arrived at Severus's house.

"geez, for a second their I thought you were loaded." Severus snorted.

"my son thought the same thing." He unlocked the door and offered a drink to Jonathan.

"ha, and the night started with me offering a drink, full circle huh?" Jonathan said with laugh.

"who's this?" A voice called distrustingly from the stairs. Severus looked up.

"Harry. You're home… that's… surprising." Severus said quietly, not breaking eye contact. Harry broke it to look at the ground and sigh.

"Harry? I can't find your paprika." an airy voice called from the kitchen.

"it's behind the marjoram!" Harry called.

"thank you." the voice said before the cuboard banged closed.

"who's that?" Severus asked, a little nervous about someone poking around his carefully organized kitchen.

"Luna Lovegood." Harry mumbled with a slight blush.

"Lovegood… should have known, no one has a voice quite like hers… so she's the reason you've been out and about." Harrry laughed awkwardly.

"y…yeah…Luna." Jonathan snickered.

"nice to meet you, names Jona…na…nah…" Jonathan trailed off with wide eyes, staring at Harry's face. "you'reHarryPotter." He squeaked out.

"yeah I'm Harry Potter. What do you want an autograph? Picture?" Harry asked in annoyance. What Jonathan said next made Harry's eyes widen. Jonathan grabbed their joined hands and shook vigourously.

"thank you. thank you so much. You saved thousands of people, and I think I should speak for everyone when I say that it shouldn't have rested on your shoulders alone. You are the bravest man I have ever met and I am proud to have met you." jonathan fiished before he took a deep breath. "mhm… that smells really good." He patted harry's shoulder before walking past him into the kitchen. The mother and son stood awkwardly saying nothing.

"so…" Harry began.

"yes." Severus said as well. Again silence permiated the room.

"who's he?" Harry asked.

"a friend."

"friend or 'friend'?" Harry asked with air quites. Severus snorted derisively.

"a friend Harry." Harry looked around nervously.

"I was just asking." Severus placed a hand on his son's shoulder.

"I'm not ready for that yet Harry, but when I am I'll tell you." Harry nodded and together they went into the kitchen. Luna was making dinner. It was chicken with some kind of sauce with a fancy French name.

"Luna, you really don't have to make dinner…" Harry said awkwardly. Luna just smiled at him.

"would you eat if I didn't?" she asked with dreamy tone.

"yeah." Harry mumbeled making Severus frown. Luna looked at him.

"let me rephrase that, would you eat well?"at that Harry played with his fork tines. Luna shook her head and began serving up the meal.

"thank you , it's rather late, but I suppose we've all had a tyring day." Severus said.

"actually my day was rather peaceful. I spent the morning cathching fresh water plimbies, then I went to my volunteer job… very relaxing." Luna said before she took a bite of her chicken. Jonathan was staring at her now, Harry was shaking his head indulgently, Severus was just shaking his head. The rest of the dinner was passed in small talk. Luna and Harry found out that Jonathan was unemployed, he had just moved here from north California, and the only people he'd talked to in the last fifteen years were his grocer, the mailman, the barber, and his cousin from britian.

"he's actually the reason I've come. You see he's disappeared, I'm looking for him. I'm actually starting to wory about him. I've asked around but everyone keeps giving me a different story. The one I've heard the most, quite disturbingly, is that he's been dead for eighteen years, which isn't true! Because he lived with me for seven of the years they say he was dead. I can't help but wonder what he got up to over here… must have been crazy." The table was silent after that as everyone thought of relatives and loved ones long passed, lost to time. after a while harry yawned.

"you should go to bed." Luna and Severus said in unison. That sparked laughter from Harry.

"well I geuss since you both said so… I'll see you to the door luna." With that Harry stood. Severus looked back at his sons dinner. It was picked at but not really eaten. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"rough luck mate… it must be hard…" Jonathan mumbled. Severus sighed.

"you have no idea…" he got up and went to the door in time to see Lovegood place a sweet kiss on Harry's cheek. The boy smiled and waved her off. Severus passed him as he went up stairs with a goofy grin on his face. He turned to Jonathan.

"it was nice meeting you."

"yes, we should get together again sometime… maybe another drink, and this time maybe I won't need a healing salve." Jonathan said with a hearty laugh before he smiled and walked away. Severus sighed and closed the door. He stood there for a moment before he shook his head in flabbergasted shock. What had he been thinking?! he'd only just met the guy… but as Severus stood there he couldn't shake the feeling that somehow he'd met Jonathan before. After a while he shook his head and washed up the dinner dishes. As he looked about the kitchen he looked at the bare fridge. He starred at it for a few moments before he made up his mind and turned towards the stiars. Harry peeked out of his door as he watched Severus pull down the attic stairs and disappear up there. he heard shuffeling above him before Severus descended again carrying a carboad box labled Pictures. He went back down stairs and Harry, ever curious, followed him. Severus stood over the box on the kitchen table and took a deep breath before he lifted the lid. The photo on top made him exhale making him breathless. The first family photo, taken by Remus at an outing to a small scotish village. Harry was so small then. Severus stared at it and after a while wiped away a small tear. With a deep, shuddery breath, he placed the photo on the fridge and stood back. He turned back to the box and brought it into the living room where he began placing photo's on the mantel. A picture of James showing off on his broom. A picture James had taken of him reading. Harry almost a year old hiding behind a chair leg popping out every so often for a big smile. They were all moving. The James in the quidditch photo stopped every so often to give Severus a very saucy wink. After he was done Severus sat down and stared. In his hand was the seventh year yearbook that he and James had recived for graduating. He flipped through it and stared at the pictures of people he'd never seen again. He turned to the hall of fame page and stared at it with a sardonic look. At the very top was cutest cople showing James and Lily. The James in the photo was trying desperately to extract itself from a very clingy Lily. He looked down the list. Most likely to break hearts, Sirius Black. Most likely to amount to nothing, Peter Petigrew. Most likely to own everyone in ten years, Marcus Nott. Most likely to go bat shit crazy, Carter Yaxley. He looked down at the very bottom. Most likely to be an assassin, Severus Snape. He sighed and thought of Albus. Perhaps of he'd looked at this book more often. After a while he turned to the quidditch page to seem James without that broad hanging off of his arm. It surprised him how anyone thought they were cute, judging by the amout of photo's she was in, she pretty much stalked James all year. As he turned to the gryffendor team a letter fell out of the was addressed to Severus without any date or return address. The hadwriting was James' but years of spying had honed Severus' paranoia into a sharp blade. A few well placed counter curses proved that it was indeed a long lost letter written by his long lost lover. Severus ripped it open and looked inside. In it was James' graduation ring, still gleaming in the light, persevered by the hardy parchment envelope. Severus pulled it and the letter out and turned to the letter.

_Dearest Severus,_

_ I know that by the time you read this, I will be engaged to be married to Lily Evans. Mother was not secretive of her plans. She despises what I am, but I want you to know that nothing will change me. I love you with all my heart, nothing I ever say will change that, and you are my soul mate. I know that know. Forever and always we will find a way. And so I give you my graduation ring and I ask you to wear it on your ring finger because some day I will come to you and we will be wed, maybe in ten years, maybe in a hundred, but someday, the world will know of our love._

_ Your Only,_

_ James._

Severus chocked and held the letter limply in his hand as he sobbed into the other. After a while he took the ring and did as James had wished. The ruby glinted on his finger in the dying light and Severus swore he could see James' face swimming in it. He shook his head and looked at the time. almost three in the morning, best go to bed. He was strating to see things. A few hours of drinking didn't help. With still shuddery breath Severus made his way upstairs and into bed. In the other room Harry was staring at the ceiling. After a few seconds he smiled faintly and rooled over on to his side. For the first time since moving there both of the houses occupants slept well, without any discomfort. They both woke feeling refreshed and Severus made his way downstairs to see his son eating toast and jam reading the daily prophet.

"good morning…" Severus said quietly. Harry looked at him and smiled uncertainly.

"morning… do you want the paper? I'm just reading the political comics."

"please." Severus said and Harry romoved the section he was reading handing the rest to his mum. The pair sat in a almost awkward silence broken only by the occasional turned of a page. After a while Severus closed the paper and sipped his tea, leaing back.

"why aren't you gone already?"

"well its Saturday…" Harry said uncertainly.

"shouldn't you be out with miss Lovegood then?"

"she's busy… volunteering." Severus rose and eyebrow.

"where deos she volunteer again?"

" , in the psychiatric ward." Severus hummed and took another sip of his tea. After a few more moments of silence Harry stood.

"I'm sorry I can't do this, it's just too awkward." Harry said before he moved to the living room. He stood before the mantel watching as his dad flew on his broom waving at him before whizzing off the frame.

"Harry." Severus said standing in the dining room looking at him. Harry sighed and sat on the sofa.

" why did he go… why didn't he listen to you… it could have been different…" Severus sighed.

"not by much. Instead of dying at Voldemort's hand he would have died at mine, and you would be raised a death eater's son." Severus said sitting in the armchair by his son. Harry's shoulders sunk.

"I hate Voldemort." Harry said with a grumble. Severus laughed.

"what's the point in hating a dead man Harry? You can't change what happened." Harry groaned and let his head fall into his hands. "all you can do is complain about the what if's. and it's a fool errand Harry. Thinking abouty what could have been just reminds you of what happened that made you angry or hurt. Try to think of your blessings Harry, what you have…"

"I'm not sure what I have mum…" Harry said quietly. After a while he shook his head. "I'm going over to Ron's, I'll be home late, don't wait up." With that Harry went to the hearth and with a call of the burrow was gone in a flash of green. Severus sighed and sat back into the lounge chair and looked up to the photo of a young James on his broom.

"what should I do James?" the photo shrugged and flew off to gods knows where, making Severus sigh aain. Meanwhile Harry was being offered heaps of food.

"are you sure dear?"

"I'm fine , I just ate." Harry said before he dashed up to Ron's room. He paused at the door and smiled watching what happened inside.

"Ronald, why don't you pick up after yourself." Hermione asked as she picked up spare bits of clothing while Ron filled out some kind of form.

"I'll get to it mione,give me a minute." Hermione put her hands on her hips.

"Ronald tear yourself away from that form and help me clean." Ron sighed and set his quill down before he helped her tidy up the room.

"the form is important Hermione, I'll finally get into the arror program if it's done by dinner, dad promised to fast track it."

"I know, but your room is a mess…"

"geez Ron, she's starting to sound like your mum instead of your wife." Harry said with a smile. Both of them dropped what they were holding.

"Harry!" they cried before they each rushed to give him a hug.

"how you bin mate? It's been a bloody long time, I'm sorry I wasn't around more when Snape was recovering, I geuss I was a bit wary that's all." Ron said awkwardly while he scratched the back of his neck. Harry smiled.

"it's fine Ron, you're still my best mate." Ron smiled before the three of them sat down. Hermione pulled out their tray and yet again they sat around a makeshift fire and talked.

"he's better now, much better since you last talked to him…" Harry said quietly.

"but your avoiding him." Hermione said with a shake of her head.

"you are? Why?" Ron asked.

"honstely Ron, don't you realise…" Hermione asked looking at him.

"what?" Ron asked with a shrug. Hermione huffed.

"well for one thing, Harry's probably still reeling about it, not only is his mother a male but also one of his most hated professors. Add the fact that Proffessor Snape is probably in mouning for the first time in years. Now Harry is expected to mourn as well. But he's probably confused about how he's feeling about his father since he's recently found out that so much of what he thought he knew about the man is untrue. Add the recent pressure he's reciving from all sides to join the arrors when he clearly deosn't want to and his recent not quite break up with Ginny and frankly, I'm surprised he hasn't broken down yet." Hermione said all in one breath. Ron stared at her, then frowned.

"you don't want to join the arrors? We were talking about all the time in sixth year." Ron said. Harry opened his mouth to speak but Hermione interupted him.

"honestly Ron! Harry has spent his whole life fighting and getting hurt by dark wizards, why would he want a carrer in that? A lot has changed since then Ron, for one thing Dumbledore is gone, for another the entire ministry is in upheval. I think Harry is right to seek another carrer, once he gets his N.E. of course, you will be coming back to Hogwarts for your N.E. right, unlike Ron here who's skating on reputation." She finished turning to Ron with a glare. Harry smile weakly and nodded. Ron slumped and looked between the two.

"you lot are conspiring against me." Hermione smiled smugly with her nose in the air. Harry just laughed. Then Ron frowned.

"you broke up with Ginny?" Harry blew out a breath of air.

"she was snogging Dean Thomas at the battle… I figured we were done, I mean I get it. He was there, I wasn't… besides, to tell you the truth, our love was sort of… dry… like we were trying to hard." Harry leaned back against a stack of Hermione's books and sighed. "I've kinda started dating someone else too so I think me and her have officially called it quits." Ron looked heartbroken before he sighed then shrugged with a grimace.

"geuss Dean's alright." He mumbled. Hermione gaped at him.

"Ronald, that was the most progressive, nicest thing I've ever heard you say." Hermione said with a smile. "at least about someone dating Ginny." Harry laughed at that.

"anyways," Ron said with a roll of his eyes "Harry mate are you really feeling all those things, how are you not catatonic?"

"catatonic?" Harry asked with a confused face. Ron shrugged.

"I've been spending a lot of time with Hermione after all." Harry laughed before Hermione finally spoke.

"teaspoon Ronald, teaspoon." She said with a huff. With that Ron and Harry laughed gawfawingly. After a while Hermione chuckeled along. Harry smiled as he watch his friends laugh before Hermione began bickering with Ron over the state of his room again. He sighed and kept smiling long into the night.

* * *

A/N: Harry is being difficult here, this whole chapter was difficult.

I am so so so sorry for the long wait, you would not believe how hard it was to write this and I honestly don't think its all that well written… but it's the best I could do I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer.

thewolf74: Elizabeth will be around more next chapter I promise, I'm so sorry I took so long.

Merlenyn: As you can see Harry being here isn't really helping but I'm sure you, like Hermione, realize that this is not because on Severus but his own conflicting feelings towards his father. Realize too that he hasn't mourned for James either. Now seeing someone else mourn has made him think about his fathers death again. He's never had to think about it before, now he is and like Severus he feels the pain. But maybe they can work through it together, they need to find common ground, somewhere they can both be relaxed and talk about their feelings. Harry feels that the house is dead, so that might not be the best place. I'm glad you enjoy the story, I hope to hear again from you soon.

mandancie: I'm glad you like it and I'm sorry for taking so long. 5000+ per chapter is hard

Also I'm sorry for how rough the grammar is. My computer is being difficult again so I had to edit the chapter on my phone. As it was it took me two hours to fix AL the spelling and major grammar mistakes. I'm terribly sorry if I missed any spelling mistakes.

Please do not comment about the lack of capitals at the beginning of sentences. It would have taken me a week to fix them all on my phone.

-TheTransfiguredCanary


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Severus woke up the next day feeling refreshed. He prepared for the day and made his way downstairs. He looked at the picture of Harry, James and him on the fridge and felt the ever so slightest twinge of a smile. He was still smiling somewhat when Harry made his way down stairs with a yawn.

"Whatimizzit?" Harry asked groggily rubbing a hand over his face. Severus felt another smile twitch of his lips and passed his son a cup of coffee.

"Almost eight… you've slept in… relatively speaking." Severus said before he turned his head. An owl swooped in from the kitchen window and, after paying the bird the required amount; Severus unfurled the Daily Prophet as the bird sailed back out. "Kingsley has started his official campaign." Severus read aloud as he sipped his own coffee pensively. Harry grunted and sipped his coffee, holding it in both hands to absorb some warmth through the porcelain. Severus looked over the edge pf the paper at his son before he flourished it again. "Do you still have things to do during the day?"

"I cleared my schedule…" Harry said quietly. Severus said nothing and once again the air grew heavy and awkward. After a while Severus huffed and threw the paper down on the table. "We have to talk Harry, you can't hide your feelings from me… I can't help you when you push me away…"

"Maybe I don't need your help…" Harry said defiantly holding the coffee closer to his body in a defensive position. Severus sighed and folded up the paper.

"Everyone needs help sometimes Harry… even I…" the rest of the sentence was cut off by the doorbell. Harry used it as a clever escape. "Harry!" Severus called from the bottom of the stairs after the teen as he disappeared into the spare bedroom with a door slam. Severus turned to the front door to see Jonathan standing there looking apologetic.

"Is this a bad time?" he asked awkwardly. Severus looked at him before he sighed and waved his hand about before he covered his face with it.

"No no, it's fine, come in, would you like some coffee?"

"No thanks, you brits make a mean cup of tea but I have yet to find a place that makes a real cuppa joe." Severus looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Tea then?" Jonathan just laughed.

"Sure Severus, thanks." Severus set up the kettle and divvied out two spoons of leaf before he poured the rapidly boiled water into the cup. A cooling charm later and Severus was sitting beside Jonathan as he hummed in enjoyment. "Like I said, they don't make tea like this in California." Severus cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Is there a certain reason you're here Jonathan?" the man smiled.

"Well to tell you the truth… when I got home I couldn't stop thinking about how I kinda ruined your night… so I wanted to make it up to you… there's this special exhibit on exotic plants at the London museum of science and history and well… I have tickets to go see it… I was wondering if you'd like ta go with me." Severus chocked a little on the coffee he was sipping.

"You… are you asking me out on a date Jonathan?" Severus asked seriously. The man put his cup down and waved his hands in a slow down fashion.

"Whoa whoa whoa! No! I want to make it up to you is all… to tell you the truth, it seems super drab… I'll probably fall asleep but it's membership tickets and they're only valid when pared with the membership card that bought them and I did so I have to go otherwise they're useless… I thought you'd like it…" Jonathan finished lamely. After a few seconds he snorted. "I just sounded like a total douche bag." Severus snorted.

"A bit." After a few seconds of deliberation Severus stood and wiped imaginary crumbs off his pants. "Very well I am intrigued, I'd like to see this exhibit." Jonathan blinked up at him in shock.

"Oh, still? Oh okay then!" Jonathan cried and he jumped to his feet. The pair were about to walk out the door when Severus stopped and with a sigh he turned back.

"Harry! I'm going out!" with an after thought he also cried. "There are some leftovers in the fridge!" before he closed the door. Together he and Jonathan spent the day and early evening at this exhibit. Severus discovered many new possible potions combinations and true to his word Jonathan fell asleep. Unfortunately it was in the children's section, where the children were being instructed to draw flowers and plants with markers. As such Jonathan had quite the colourful face when they left the museum and walked through the town back to Severus's house. Jonathan was trying to wipe a particularly stubborn shade of violent blue off his face, musing about children.

"Sometimes, I love kids… other times… not so much…" Severus laughed as they climbed the house steps. As they entered the house Jonathan took in the dark kitchen. "Do you think he ate?"

"Not likely…" Severus mumbled worriedly. Jonathan sat on the sofa and motioned Severus to do the same.

"There's not much you can do Severus… he's a adult, he has to learn to take care of himself," he stopped Severus from interrupting him "that includes learning to deal with grief… if you coddle him now this'll happen all over again when he's older and we're both dead." Jonathan patted Severus's shoulder "He needs to figure out how to heal on his own." Jonathan took in the time on the mantel clock. "Ah, gotta get home, have ta get something to eat, I'll see ya around?" Severus looked up at the man and after a few seconds of thought nodded.

"Certainly." Jonathan smiled as with a wave he left the house. Severus wholly expected to never see the man again. But see him he did. The second time they went out together Jonathan took him to another science exhibit, this one about gemstones. The third time Jonathan to him to see a sci-fi film about space exploration. The forth time he took them to a play in Piccadilly Circus. Severus had to admit it then. The second time he was in shock, the third denial but he knew it now. Somehow, someway, Jonathan and him had begun a romantic relationship. Severus hadn't even realised it. It hadn't seemed like they were more then friends when they went out. The talked about there everyday issues, mostly about Jonathan's search for his cousin and Harry's continued withdrawal. They debated about politics and sports and every other topic under the sun. They didn't perform any of the other traditional rituals such as holding hands or whispering in dark alcoves, but Severus had to admit that a budding attraction was growing for Jonathan. And with it was a cold hard pit of guilt in the bottom of his stomach. Severus was supposed to be mourning James, not going out on dates with flashy Americans. But every time Jonathan took him out Severus couldn't help but admit that for even a little while the loneliness and loss went away. Severus felt happy around Jonathan. Which only made him feel guiltier. Severus shouldn't be happy. He should be wallowing in grief, crying himself to sleep each night. But Severus had to admit, the past few months had been wonderful. Of course Harry's birthday had been a bit of a disaster. What with Harry refusing to even look at him. Severus was unaware if his birthday gift to his son had ever been opened but if it had Severus hoped his son hadn't thrown that pocket watch away. It had belonged to Harold potter the first, Harry's grandfather, and was an heirloom that James had cherished. Jonathan had also given Harry a gift and with the way Harry had reacted Severus knew that Harry was not pleased with what was happening. Severus knew that Harry believed that Severus had broken his promise of telling Harry when he was ready, but the truth way, Severus wasn't ready, he was scared and nervous and guilty about even thinking about Jonathan that way. That is what led Severus to wrapping himself up in his scarf and mitts and trudging through the snow to visit Elizabeth, while this particular subject wasn't her exact expertise, she has said she would be willing to give all kinds of advice. So Severus made his way to the gate and rang the bell.

"Hello?" Edmaund called out over the intercom.

"If you would please open the gate sometime before spring, I'd like to be still able to move when I get in." Severus growled out through slightly chattering teeth. The gate buzzed and opened a fraction before the snow blocked it. Severus slipped in and made sure to close it firmly behind him before he made his way up the long drive way. Edmaund was waiting inside with earmuffs and mittens.

"The fire wood deliveries have been lacking, I suggest you take your mitten with you while we travel up to the wood room. The mistress currently only allows the fire in the kitchen and wood room to be lit." Severus nodded, leaving his coat but keeping his mittens. Edmaund led him to wood room and opened the door for him. Elizabeth smiled and Edmaund bowed out of the room.

"Now Severus, how have you been." Elizabeth asked pouring them each a cup of tea before leaning back and watching the man sitting before her rather rigidly with a smile.

"Well thank you…" Severus mumbled quietly taking his tea. Before he continue his delicate train of thought Maria walked in.

"Begging your pardon mame, an urgent letter came in the mail." Maria handed Elizabeth the letter and retreated back out the door making sure to close it tightly. Elizabeth read the letter quickly and tsked.

"Oh George." Elizabeth muttered shaking her head and sipping her tea. Severus frowned in confusion.

"Your husband is still sending you letters?" he asked. Elizabeth shook her head.

"No, George Esin hasn't spoken to me in ten years now, but George Philips the second, my eldest son, has. He's sending his son George Esin the second to me next month." Elizabeth said shaking her head and sipping her tea. "Heavens knows why, I despise the child. He is spoiled and rude and inconsiderate and he most definitely does not respect his elders." Elizabeth sighed and rang the bell for Edmaund.

"Yes mame?"

"Edmaund, could you bring me a pen and paper, we'll be expecting George the second next month." The lank elderly butler made a face that might have seemed like discomfort to the untrained eye, but to Severus it spoke of pure loathing.

"Perhaps I can take the next month off mame." Elizabeth made a face at her trusty butler.

"There is no way I'm suffering his wrath alone Edmaund. You will suffer the same as I." The man made a face of utter defeat and bowed out of the room. Elizabeth shook her head and sipped her tea. She placed her teacup back on the saucer and looked at Severus. "I'm sorry Severus, you were saying something…" Severus sat in silence for a few moments before he looked into his teacup.

"I need advice." Elizabeth smiled smugly.

"Well Severus, you wouldn't be here if you didn't, what do you need advice with?" Severus sighed.

"Perhaps I could be more clear… I need relationship advice." Elizabeth looked at him as her smile fell. She sighed and stood.

"You know I'm not very good at this Severus… very well, who is this man?" Severus sighed and lean back into the chair he was sitting in.

"His name is Jonathan, he's from San Francisco, California. He likes American Football and five layer Nacho cheese dip. He's here looking for his English cousin. He used to have a wife and son before they were killed in a car accident and he's 38 years old." Severus listed off rapid fire. Elizabeth stared at the man in shock.

"Just how many dates have you been on with this man Severus?"

"Four and a half." Severus responded deadpanned. Elizabeth looked at him in confusion.

"A half?" Severus sighed.

"The first one doesn't really count, it was the day I met him… I slapped him." Elizabeth stared at him before she dropped her head into one of her hands and shook it.

"Severus… you astound me… well, do you like being around him?" Elizabeth asked making her way back over to her chair and sitting back down. Severus groaned and leaned back.

"I do, but I can't help… I just… he's…" Severus ran a shaky hand through his hair as he tried to form his thoughts into words. Elizabeth watched him for a few seconds before her eyes drifted closed and she nodded with a grim expression.

"You're feeling guilty." Severus looked at her in shock "Because you've only just started mourning James and already you're thinking of someone else." Elizabeth took up her teacup and drank from it, trying to find words to try and help this poor lost man.

"Am I wrong? James may have been dead for seventeen years but… but I haven't let myself feel it… I hadn't even though about James until a few months ago… I… I'm wearing his year ring on my finger… I…" Elizabeth placed a hand on top of Severus's and patted it.

"Different people have different ways of mourning Severus, everyone takes a different amount of time. Tell Jonathan this. I'm sure he'll understand. He's gone through this before, he knows. Tell him of your anxieties… maybe you should go out with someone else." Severus looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm too old for a chaperone Elizabeth." The elderly woman laughed loudly holding the young mans arm.

"No no Severus, oh what do you young people call it? It was a party when I was young… oh yes that's what it's called, a double date!" Severus blinked.

"What?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes.

"Really Severus, keep up." She said shaking her head. "Take young Jonathan out of a double date with one of your friends, introduce them… I'm sure you've been hiding away from them like a dirty secret. All that Dumbledore's fault. I don't know what it is but something about that man rubbed me the wrong way." Severus said nothing just sipped his tea quietly. " Enough of my problems, you Severus need to stop hiding your feeling from your friends, take Jonathan out on a double date. He'll be more respectful of boundaries in public and he'll meet your friends." Severus sighed and down the last of him now cold tea. He stood and turned for the door. As per usual he stopped and turned back to the woman.

"Thank you Elizabeth." The woman smiled and nodded. As he left she blew out a breath of air.

"I hope I haven't doomed you both… now to find some way to tolerate that irate grandson of mine…" Severus left the manor giving Maximums, Elizabeth's eldest boarhound, a pat on the head. He swept through the town with a purpose and walked into his house. He hung up his coat and scarf then went to the kitchen only to pause. Harry was shovelling corn flakes down his throat fast as he could without choking before he threw the bowl into the sink. He picked up a bag on the counter along with a pair of mitts, scarf, and jacket before he dashed past Severus.

"Can't talk, slept in, later!" Harry cried before the door slammed behind him. Severus looked up at the clock. It was noon. Harry likely already missed what ever he was rushing to get to if he over slept. But after a few minutes, within which Harry did not return, Severus didn't ponder it further. It must be some evening event. Severus sighed and went over to the fireplace. He had to pluck up the courage to throw that powder into the fireplace, call Remus and ask him to accompany him on a date with Jonathan… whom he's never met… and never even heard of. Severus got the sinking feeling that he had made this whole thing more complicated then it should have been and that he could have saved himself a lot of trouble if he'd just told Remus about him in the first place. But then, that requires the exact same amount of courage, the same amount he was having trouble mustering now. Severus thought back to that day that he and James shared their first kiss_. Come on Snape! Show some gryffendor courage!_ Nope! No! Don't think about your dead husband right now Severus, that only makes it more awkward. Severus took a deep breath and tossed a handful of is floo powder into the flames.

"Moonstone bay, Lupin residence." Severus spoke clearly before he stuck his head into the flames. Severus could see that he was in the sitting room fireplace. The room was empty and Severus reasoned that he should call back later. He was both relieved and filled with dread when the door opened and Nymphadora stumbled knocking over the coffee table, letting out a yelp.

"Severus! You scared me!" Nymphadora said with a hand on her heart.

"I'm dreadfully sorry Mrs. luipn… is Remus home?" the woman smiled.

"He's playing with Teddy, give me a moment." Nymphadora walked out into the hallway. "Remus! Severus is floo calling you!" Nymphadora stuck her head back into the room. "He'll just be a moment." Remus walked in carrying a child with bright blue hair.

"Severus! To what do I owe the pleasure?" Remus asked happily was he sat on the rug in front of the flames with his son in his lap. Severus figured he could use that as an excuse.

"Well actually… I was going to ask you out to dinner but I forgot about your new son. I suppose…"

"No no it's fine, we could always get a sitter, Dora and I would love to come to dinner… is there a special occasion?" Severus felt a heavy sense of dread fall over him.

"No no, just dinner among friends…" Remus smiled.

"Alright, Dora and I will meet you at seven on Tuesday then?" Severus swallowed. That left him two days to ask Jonathan to join him. Severus grunted and nodded.

"Certainly… I'll see you then." Severus withdrew and the connection died. Now he had to do the even harder bit. Ask Jonathan out. This would be the first time. Jonathan was always the one to approach Severus, now it was his turn. Severus sighed heavily and made his way to the phone that sat on the kitchen counter. In rag twice and miles away Jonathan whipped out his phone.

"Peter! Where have you been? I haven't heard from you in ages! Are you alright?" Jonathan cried in rapid fire.

"Not Peter… who is Peter?" Severus asked quietly. Jonathan laughed.

"Sorry, Severus… I honestly forgot for a moment that we had exchanged numbers… Peter is my cousin, but he's not important right now, whats up?" Jonathan asked as he leaned back into the chair he was sitting in.

"Oh… yes… well I… I was wondering… if you were free this Tuesday evening…" Jonathan smiled wide and shifted in his seat.

"Are you asking me out on a date Severus Snape?"

"I seriously hope you're in a secluded space Jonathan." Severus ground out. Jonathan took a look around the crowded room he was in. everyone was talking or whispering to one another and with some people making loud noises against there will it made for a loud setting. Jonathan rolled his eyes and went back to the phone.

"Honestly Severus, you are the most paranoid person I know."

"Not paranoid! Private!" Severus growled angrily. Jonathan rolled his eyes again.

"I'm free Tuesday, what time?"

"Seven." Severus said quietly. Jonathan smiled.

"I'll be there at six, see ya then Sev." Jonathan finished before he flipped his cell phone closed. Lately Severus had been somewhat reserved around him. He wasn't about to let the man change his mind last minute.

"Mr. Pecker? Healer Smithson will see you now." A medi witch said from the doorway to the hospital proper. Jonathan sighed and stood with some cracking bones. But as he went through the door he stopped in shock. Harry was standing at the end of the hall with Luna at the end of the hall. The two stared at each other for a few seconds before the medi witch ushered Jonathan into the healer's office and the door shut with a click. Harry turned to Luna.

"You've seen him around here often?" Luna looked at him and sighed.

"He sees mind healer Smithson every week… I can't say anymore then that Harry, you know that." Harry jerked his head.

"Yeah, patient doctor confidentiality… I get it…" Harry grunted out. Luna looked into Harry's face and sighed before she hooked her arm in Harry's and together the pair made there way out of the hospital and the mall in was attached to. Luna led them to a park not far from the hospital. It was small and secluded with rustic park benches scattered about.

"What's wrong Harry?" Harry sighed before he shook his head and dropped his face into his hands, balancing his elbows on his knees.

"I don't know what to feel anymore Luna… I just… I thought I was supposed to be sad… but now… mum is out… out flirting! And I… I just don't…" Harry grabbed his hair into his fists. "I feel lost… so lost." Luna looked at Harry sadly grabbing his hand and holding it. "Am I wrong?" Harry asked turning his troubled face to her. "I mean, he's been mourning for so long… but… but he told me he would tell me when he was ready… I thought that if he was ready I would be ready… but… but I know he's going to tell me soon he's ready… but I'm not… I don't want this Luna… but… I don't know what to do Luna…" Luna took Harry's head and pulled it to her shoulder. The boy who lived shuddered and sobbed quietly. "What should I do Luna?" the blond sighed and rubbed her cheek in Harry's hair, squeezing there joined hands.

"I don't know Harry… I don't know." the pair sat on that bench for another twenty minutes before Harry wiped his eyes and took a deep breath. Luna stood and held out her hand. Harry looked up at her kind face and smiling took it before he intertwined their fingers and the two began walking down the street. The two walked around London for several hours before Harry felt himself grow hungry for the first time in a long while. Together he and Luna apperated back to the town Harry lived in. As they walked back Harry had a sudden thought.

"Where are you living now Luna?" the blond smiled.

"We're spending the money we got on increased sales to rebuild the house, It's even bigger then before. And there's going to be a telescope on the roof." Luna said with a smile. Harry's smiled with a laugh and squeezed her hand. The pair made there way up the steps of Harry's house and as Harry opened the door his spirits fell. Severus was sitting in the living room waiting for him. Luna looked between the pair and pushed Harry up the stairs. Severus tried to call out for his son but he stopped when Luna shook her head. She looked at her old potions professor for a few seconds before she turned away and saw herself out of the door. Severus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before he rose to go to bed. He stood outside the spare bedroom for a few seconds debating whether or not to disregarded Miss. Lovegood's look, but it was so haunting, so pain filled that Severus sighed and turned to go to bed. For two days Severus's day consisted of Harry dashing off in the morning and arriving home in the evening with Miss. Lovegood. Finally the day came for his double date. He stood in front of his mirror at five thirty taking deep heaving breaths. He felt nervous about going out with Jonathan for the first time. Never before had he felt self conscious about being out in public with Jonathan but know that he knew there would be an audience he was worrying about his appearance and fiddling with the hems of his coat and folded imaginary creases out of his pants. Severus finally descended just as the door opened. Harry stopped in the door and stared at his mother.

"What are you wearing?" Harry demanded angrily. Luna closed the door behind her and stood off to the side. Severus looked at Harry and resisted the urge to grind his teeth at his son's angry expression.

"I'm going out with Jonathan tonight." As Severus said this the doorbell rang. Luna turned to the door and opened it. Jonathan was standing there with a small bouquet of white flowers wrapped in a white paper. He took in the distrustful glare from Harry, the wary look from Severus and the pained expression from Luna and winced.

"I can wait outside… for a bit…" he looked down at the flowers and handed them quickly to Severus. "They were on sale, you told me you'd been looking for them for a potion and I saw them." Severus reached out and took them, inspecting them before he nodded and pulled out his wand, waving it with a flourish. The bouquet disappeared.

"Perhaps you could come back in a few minutes…"Severus began quietly sliding his wand back into his pocket.

"No need." Harry growled and he made his way up the stairs. Luna sighed and followed him. Severus clasped his hands together and closed the door as Jonathan stepped in.

"I'm sorry…I should have come later…" Severus sighed.

"No… I don't think that conversation was really going to go anywhere…"Severus whispered in defeat. Jonathan looked at the man apologetically and turned back to the door.

"Are we going then?" Severus swallowed and motioned Jonathan to join him in the living room.

"We wont be dining alone tonight…" Severus said quietly. Jonathan blinked at the man before the doorbell rang again. Severus walked over to the door and let Nymphadora and Remus in.

"Nice to see you Severus, so where will we be…" Nymphadora trailed off as she looked at Jonathan. The man was staring at her hot pink hair in shock. "Hi." She finished lamely. Remus turned to Jonathan and stared.

"Um… who is this Severus?" Remus asked awkwardly. Severus swallowed and turned to Jonathan. The man in question saw the very plain 'Help me!" look on Severus's face. Jonathan smiled and stood.

"Hi, I'm Jonathan. I'm a friend of Severus's." Nymphadora and Remus looked at one another before Remus held out his hand and the two men shook hands. Jonathan went to Severus's side and placed a hand in the centre of his back. Severus sighed silently in relief. That instantly established that Jonathan was the kind of friend that one would ask out to dinner. Of course that didn't stop Remus and Nymphadora's eyebrows from skyrocketing to their hairlines. Severus just closed his eyes.

"Shall we get to dinner then, it's a bit early but I suppose they might be able to squeeze us in early.

"Certainly." Nymphadora said and Remus led her, similarly to the way Jonathan was to Severus, and the four exited the house. They made there way to a relatively fancy restaurant near the end of Diagon alley. They were able to get a table early and they settled down.

"Can I interest you in our selection of wine?" their waitress asked as Jonathan looked over the list before he turned to his dinner mates.

"Let me treat you to a home grown delicacy, my treat." Jonathan folded the wine menu and held it out to the waitress. "1992 Diamond Creek Gravelly Meadow Cabernet Sauvignon please, leave it open." The waitress made a noise of shock and walked away. Two minutes later the waitress returned with the bottle and walked away. The group each took a turn pouring the wine and Severus was the first to sample. After his first sip he put it down.

"That is by far the best wine I've ever had…" Severus said quietly.

"They definitely don't serve this at Hogwarts, it has to be at least half the teachers pay check." Remus said swirling his glass lightly. Nymphadora chuckled a bit and Jonathan put down his glass, sighing in satisfaction.

"It's been a while since I treated myself… it's twice as expensive here of course but it's well worth the price… so Remus, you were a teacher with Severus then?" Remus chuckled a bit.

"Yes, I taught Harry in his third year actually, but my condition came to light and… well… let's just say that not all people are as opened minded as my wife over here." Nymphadora smiled and her hair turned purple. Jonathan chocked on his drink a bit when he saw that.

"I'm sorry, your hair turned purple, was not expecting that." Jonathan said and he mopped up the few splatters of wine that were on the tablecloth. Nymphadora chuckled.

"Perhaps I should have mentioned that, I'm a metamorphigus." Jonathan nodded.

"Yeah, something about the hair threw me off." The trio laughed amicably and Severus felt his lips twitch happily. "So, you said something about a condition? Do you have some kind of embarrassing sickness?" Severus felt his stomach drop again. Remus looked at him with a raised eyebrow before he turned to Jonathan.

"I see Severus forgot to mention one of the defining things about my character. I'm a werewolf." Remus said bluntly. Jonathan stared at him before he blinked and nodded.

"Interesting… that's probably why Severus is so obsessed with improving the wolfsbane potion. Aside from the rivalry with that other potions master of course." That got the conversation rolling into the jovial territory again. Severus could not deny that he enjoyed himself. The company was good, the food delicious and the wine was superb. It did help that Jonathan bought a second bottle. And then a third. And he was barely talked out of a forth. The rest of the night after the main course was fuzzy to Severus. He remembered getting into the night bus. Remus and Nymphadora had left and then they went back to his home. But it was all fuzzy after that. Finally Severus opened his eyes to the harsh light of a mid December morning. He groaned as his head throbbed and he burrowed closer to the warm body beside him.

"What time is it James… did we go to some kind of party last night…"

"No." the man beside him responded. Severus frowned groggily.

"You're not James…" he slurred as he looked up.

"No I'm not." Jonathan responded. Severus looked at the man in horror from his position against the man's chest before he pushed himself away only to fall out of the bed. He grabbed the sheet and held it against his frame.

"Did we…"

"Yep." Jonathan said nodding, not looking at Severus but across the room to the wall.

"Did I…"

"You did." Jonathan said and he finally looked at Severus. The man swallowed and looked away again. He started climbing out of the bed and picked up his near by pants.

"Jonathan… I…" Severus began. But still the man dressed. "Jonathan please…" the man sighed and pulled his shirt over his head. He stood and didn't turn around.

"I'll see you soon?" Jonathan asked. Severus shook his head.

"Jonathan… last night was a mistake… I… I'm just not ready… for that kind of thing…" Severus said hollowly. Jonathan moved his neck as if to work out a kink and nodded.

"Yeah… something about the way you cried out James kinda set that for me…" Severus hung his head in shame.

"I'm sorry Jonathan…" the man stood and shook his head.

"Don't be… we both made mistakes last night… now, I'm gonna go. I'll see ya soon alright?" Severus swallowed and nodded slowly. The man smiled a bit before he walked out of the bedroom door. As the front door closed downstairs Severus sat on his bed heavily and covered his face with his hand in distress.

**~Chapter Finite Incantatum~**

* * *

A/N: ugh... I stayed up all night so I could write this. Luckily for all 117 of you, all of whom I am very thankful for, I have the whole story planned out now. Should be fun. Lots of things are being developed now. And I hope you all see the full repercussions of Severus and Jonathan's actions in their drunken haze. Not only will it effect them but it'll effect Harry too! Only time will tell of course.

countylovinfangirl: Thank you very much for your praise. I'm writing as fast as I can but I'll try as hard as I can to get you a chapter within the next month. And I promise a chapter for Christmas ;p

thewolf74: As you can see harry and Severus are still at odds. But who knows, maybe they'll make up next chapter ;p. I'll try to update soon.

mandancie: Until next chapter indeed! Those boys are still holding out... if only Severus wasn't so stubborn. And he passed it on to Harry... *sigh* I promise you they will eventually make up... but it'll take something pretty shocking I think... ;)

until next time my loving fans.

-TTC

P.S. I'm sorry that I didn't make my usual 6000+ quota. This chapter is actually a lot shorter then I projected but there simply wasn't anything else to put in it and the next chapter has to be kept together. But it's only 200 words short... I guess that's okay...


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Severus threw a letter into the fire for the fifth time that week. As he did so a heavy weight fell into Severus's stomach. for three days straight Jonathan had sent letters to Severus. Severus knew with a gnawing resign that he would receive another letter later in the night. Severus looked up to the ceiling when he heard the spare room door open. Harry was awake. Severus knew it was a Saturday, and therefore, Harry would not be out doing whatever it is that he was doing. Severus figured it was some kind of job. But as Harry was still very much tight lipped about his life Severus had no way of knowing. As Harry descended the stairs he refused to meet Severus's eyes. He could see that Harry's eyes smoldered with a quiet fury that was dangerous when left untended. And yet, Severus rose no hand and spoke no words to halt his son as the teen stormed out of the house into the frigid winter. Harry was extra sure to slam the door so that him mum didn't get any ideas about following him. Of course now that Harry was out here he was regretting it. It was much beyond nippy for this part of England and with a light snow fall steadily growing stronger now was not an ideal time to storm out into the street. Harry wrapped his coat tighter around himself and reasoned he'd head to the pub and drink a few. As he walked passed an alley a shout reached his ear.

"You better leave me alone! Or… or I'll tell my daddy!" a boy shouted with a quiver. Harry slinked down the alley and saw a boy dressed in very posh clothes standing with his back to a wall as four other kids stood around him menacingly. The tallest child, a boy with a red runny nose and mits with holes laughed and looked at the others.

"You hear that guys? The rich kids gonna tell his daddy on us! Oh I'm so scared." The other kids all laughed. Harry snarled and stepped into the alley entrace.

"Oi! Clear out you lot! Leave 'im alone!" the kids all gasped and squeaked and rushed out the other end of the alley. Harry walked up to the boy, who was brushing himself off. "You alright?"Harry asked as he placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. He frowned when the child ripped his shoulder away.

"Don't touch me urchin! You're filth will cover my jacket! It's imported from Russia. Probably worth more then your house." Harry stared at this kid.

"Who the bloody hell do you think you are brat! I just saved your hide!" the child suck his nose into the air.

"I am the son of lord Nottingham! My father is a lord! He makes ten times what you probably make just by sitting in a chair!" Harry grabbed the kid by the scruff and lifted him. "Hey! Put me down! I said put me down!" the brat snarled as he tried to kick and punch his way out of Harry's grip.

"Shut it!… where do you live?" the brat folded his arms angrily.

"I live in a mansion in Wessex! If you are planning to charge ransom my father will have the whole English army on you!" Harry rolled his eyes.

"Fine, where are you staying?" the child pouted.

"With my grandmother Elizabeth, I hate her! She's old and boring! All she wants to do with read books and talk about dogs! I hate dogs!" the boy shouted angrily. Harry blinked then he turned and hefted the boy onto his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Put me down!" the boy screamed. Harry grunted as the boy began thumping on his back.

"Enough of that." Harry said as he carried the boy through the town to the gate of Elizabeth's drive way. Halfway through town the boy had quieted and was now draping lazily over harry's back with a pout. Harry pushed the button on the buzzer. Edmund's voice came out of the intercom.

"Yes, how may I help you?"

"I've got this kid here, he says that Elizabeth's his grand mum… can I come in?" Harry asked awkwardly.

"Young George!… well if you must…" Edmund intoned dryly. The gate buzzed and opened. Harry went through and closed it behind him. He put the kid down. The boy preceded to kick Harry in the shin and dashed up the drive way. Harry yelped and clutched his leg before he angrily yelled after the boy.

"You snot nosed brat!" Harry ran after the boy. At the door harry knocked and Maria opened it. Elizabeth and Edmund were in the foyer as well. Elizabeth looked over to Harry and smiled.

"Young Harry! I should have known it was you… now tell me… what happened? I've been looking all over the grounds for George all morning, where did he run off to?" Harry growled as he rubbed his shin.

"Well I was out for a walk when I came across these kids tormenting him. I scared them off then he started spouting off about how important he was like some little self absorbed prick." Harry snarled. Edmund and Maria both made shocked noises but Elizabeth just chuckled as she shook her head.

"Yes… George is rather… well, his father taught him all while he was growing up that he was better then all the other children because he had a high social standing… George never had very many friends… I suppose he was tired of playing with the dogs and tried to go out to make some… going about it all the wrong way of course… so much of that young boys life is in turmoil… his father recently re married and he has new step siblings. An older boy who's in all the top schools and has all the highest grades and a younger sister who is more polite and courteous than any other child I've ever met. Poor George is caught in the middle. He's never been exceptionally talented at any nobleman sport, he can't stand dogs and he's terrified of horses. He was never very good in school and he's not very good with social matters. He is truly a young boy lost in a world he is suddenly unused to. His father had always been so focused on him since his mother died, now George is so focused on his new family he's left his own son in the dust… oh George." Harry blinked.

"Wait… is his father named George as well?" Elizabeth blinked then smiled.

"Yes, sorry, little George is George Esin Eldergrass the second and his father is Lord George Philips Eldergrass the second." Elizabeth said with a apologetic face. Harry groaned.

"That's got to be confusing… wait, forgive me asking but… what was your husbands name?" Harry asked quietly. Elizabeth smiled.

"George." Harry smacked himself in the forehead as the elderly woman laughed merrily. As her laughter died a heavy silence fell between the two. Elizabeth's eyes gleamed with a sharp understanding. "Come share a cup of tea with me Harry." Harry blanched.

"Um… I really, should get back… I mean…" Harry went to reach for the door and blanched further. The light snowfall outside had turned into a veritable blizzard. Elizabeth hummed and turned for the stairs.

"Strange weather we've been having… well it's really up to you dear, either stay here and wait for the storm to pass or come upstairs and have some tea." Harry looked up at the woman then to the snow outside. He groaned and began climbing the stairs after Elizabeth. The two made there way to the wood room where Maria was laying out the tea service. The two sat in the sofa's opposite one another in silence until Maria bowed out of the room. Elizabeth smiled at Harry and reached over for the tea cups. After pouring two equal measures she turned to the sugar bowl. "One or two my dear?"

"One please, and a splash of milk." Elizabeth smiled and served Harry his tea. She prepared her own before she leaned back and sipped it. She sighed in content and the two sat in silence. After a while one of the logs popped in the fireplace. Harry pushed out a gust of wind and put his half empty cup down.

"So what, are you gonna make me talk or something?" Elizabeth smiled and shook her head.

"No Harry, I never make anyone talk, if you are content to sit here in silence until you finish your tea I'm fine with that." Harry stared at her for a few seconds before he leaned back and slouched in his chair.

"You know, I'm technically already seeing a therapist about all this mess…" harry grumbled quietly. Elizabeth looked shocked.

"You are?" she asked. Harry blushed a bit.

"Well… actually… she's my… well my girlfriend…" Harry murmured as his face grew increasingly red. Elizabeth chuckled.

"I'm afraid she can hardly be unbiased then, can she? What with the conflict of interest." Elizabeth said as she reached for a biscuit. As she did the door opened. George was standing there looking contrite. Harry watched as he walked forwards and stood before Elizabeth.

"'m sorry." He muttered quietly with red cheeks. Elizabeth smiled and opened her arms for a hug. George took it before he stepped back. "I won't do it again… promise." Elizabeth smiled wider and held out the biscuit tray.

"I saved you some chocolate ones my dear." George took two and smiled a bit before he scurried out of the room like a mouse under the eye of a watchful cat. Harry watched this and turned back to Elizabeth.

"Huh… you know… he told me he hated you."Harry said quietly. Elizabeth blinked before she laughed heartily.

"Harry my dear child, he is a ten year old boy that has been spoiled his whole life, I would be surprised if he didn't say that at least once or twice… last summer, when his father was in Windsor with his new wife, George stayed here with me. He ran away then too, just as he had the autumn before that and summer before that… in fact, every time he has visited me since young George's mother died when he was six he has tried to run away at least once." Harry gaped as Elizabeth sipped her tea again.

"Why the bloody hell did you give him a biscuit then!? He should be locked away or something!" Harry said with a hard frown. Elizabeth closed her eyes and smiled.

"Because every time he does, he comes to apologies and promises he'll never do it again. He receives no prompt from anyone, because he has never been forced to do anything in his entire life. No that dear sweet, though somewhat troubled, boy comes to me because he is truly sorry for making me worry. And that, my dear harry, is why I gave him a biscuit. Because the hardest part of a conflict is not the actually fighting, but the apology that must be spoken afterwards… you yourself owe your father an apology, and that is why you are being distant yes… for a while it was because you were angry but now… now you are embarrassed… you must promise me something Harry… you must promise me to go to your father and say you are sorry and that you promise to never run away again." Elizabeth said with a touch of urgency. Harry looked at her with red cheeks and a frown.

"I just… I said things that I regret… I just…"Harry murmured as he buried his fingers in his hair. Elizabeth stood and hooked her finger under Harry's chin and gently forced him to look at her. She smiled.

"You are a teenage boy Harry, I'd be worried if you didn't say hurtful things without meaning to." She said with a slight chuckle. Harry smiled weakly at her. The two sat back down and continued with there tea in a much more comfortable silence. After Harry sipped the last dregs of the tea from the bottom he looked up. A fresh blanket of now lay over the world. It glimmered in the grayish light of a cloud filled sky. The snow had stopped now and the world was crisp and cool. Harry smiled. Elizabeth did too. "Ah. I think dear George will enjoy this, he's very fond of snow." Just as she said this George ran out with two dogs and Maria trailing behind him. Maria was tripping over a scarf trying to pull of mitts. George was already rolling in the snow. Soon one of the dogs began jumping around as George threw handfuls of snow into the air. Elizabeth and Harry smiled.

"I guess he's a good kid after all…" Harry said quietly. Elizabeth smiled and hummed. She pulled on a rope by the door and Edmund walked in. he took the empty tray and turned for the door he stopped and turned back.

"Dinner will be served soon milady." He said quietly before he turned back down the hall. Elizabeth turned to Harry and smiled.

"Well I best go prepare for dinner, I hope to see you again Harry." Harry smiled.

"Thank you Elizabeth, yes, I'll be sure to see you again, bye." Harry said. and he left the room Elizabeth smiled and shook her head.

"Like father like son." She murmured before she looked through her window again at young George. As Harry left the house, bundled up once more, and walked down the drive way a snow ball was thrown at his head. As he turned Maria was holding a snow ball as George ran away. She stared at him mortified. Harry just laughed and turned back towards the gate. As he closed it behind him he was sure he saw George's little mitten waving from behind a pile of snow. Harry smiled and waved back. With that he shoved his hands in his pockets and made his way down the streets. It was a strange amount of snow fall for this part of England. It'll probably melt by the end of the week, what with the rains in the forecast. Harry frowned. Poor George would have nothing to play with again. Harry sighed as he walked down his street. As he climbed the steps he paused before he open the door. He could see his mum reading the evening prophet, drinking tea and eating some kind of pasta from the door. So he took of his coat and mitts and scarf and slinked over. He hesitated before he placed a hand on his mums shoulder. That was a bad idea. Severus grabbed his hand, whipped him around, wrenched his arm straight out from his shoulder and slammed him onto the counter.

"Ow! Bloody hell how paranoid are you!" Harry shouted angrily. Severus relaxed his griped before it tightened.

"What did I threaten to slip into Harry Potter's pumpkin juice in 1993?" he snarled angrily. Harry rolled his eyes and huffed.

"Verictaserum. To find out if I had been stealing ingredients to make polyjuice potion." Harry felt his arm being released and rolled his shoulder. "Note to self, never throw you a surprise party." Severus sat down and shook his head.

"You should know better, you're lucky I didn't have my wand or you would have been a smear on the kitchen counter." Severus growled out. But his eyes were not in it. Harry swallowed and rubbed his neck.

"Um… mum… I have ta tell you something…" Severus blanched.

"Please don't tell that Lovegood girl is pregnant." Harry blushed beet read.

"WHAT?! NO!" he squeaked out shrilly. Severus looked distinctly relived.

"Good… sorry… some thing in the newspaper… another article about you… some chit claiming to bear your spawn… Granger called Rita Skeeter a liver sucking cow, I expect that will have some backlash…" Severus said in sections. Harry blanched again.

"What!? No no no! I haven't had sex with anybody! And I you sure Hermione said that? She's smarter than that… she knows Skeeter would retort…" Harry said. Severus sighed and waved his hand.

"I'm sure everything will work out in the end… now what is it you wanted to tell me?" Harry blinked before he remembered what he's promised to Elizabeth. He bit his lip.

"Erm… yeah, it's about how I've been acting lately… you see…" the rest of Harry's thought died with the ring of the door bell. Severus frowned and went to the door. He opened it and paled rapidly. Jonathan was standing there in semi casual clothing with a jacket and scarf holding a rose. Harry felt his courage shrivel and die. It was hard enough to apologies to his mum. It would be even harder to apologies in front of Jonathan. Suddenly Harry had a great respect for George, who was able to apologies and mean it in front of his grandmother despite Harry, who was pretty much a stranger, being present. Harry didn't spare any further thought. He dashed up the stairs despite his mother calling after him.

"Harry!" Severus cried one more time before the spare room door slammed. Severus turned to Jonathan angrily. "Wonderful! Just excellent! Now I'll never know what he wanted to tell me." He snarled. Jonathan stood there not saying a word, just hlding out the rose. Severus felt his anger melt away, only to be replaced by fear. "Jonathan… I…"

"Let me take you out Severus, one last time, please… just one last date, and if it doesn't work out, I'll leave and I'll never come back, I promise." The American said desperately. Severus stared at him for a few seconds before he took the rose. He twirled it in his fingers idly before he placed it on the banister a grabbed his scarf. He looked down at his outfit. A pair of teachers slacks, black of course, and a black knit turtle neck.

"I'm not really…" Jonathan smiled.

"You're fine and if you feel out of place we can always conjure you something else." Jonathan said before he took Severus by the hand and entwined there fingers. Severus looked down at their joined hands and squeezed lightly. Jonathan turned back just as they were about to leave and shouted up the stairs.

"Hey Harry! Your mum and I are heading out, I'll see ya soon I guess." With that the pair left, appriated by Jonathan to London. The streets were busy with people. Just as they walked passed a dimly lit alley Jonathan veered down it. Severus gripped his arm tighter but Jonathan reassured him with a hand on his. After a few paces Jonathan stopped in front of a blank wall. Severus looked at him and he nodded. Together the pair took a step and Severus realized that the wall was fake. There was another alley beside the muggle one. But muggles walked by by the hundreds simply not knowing it was here. At the end of the much shorter path was a line of witches and wizards all dressed in semi formal attire. Jonathan frowned and huffed. With a wave of his wand the pair were dressed in loosely fitting dress shirts and blazers. Jonathan's was white, while Severus's was black.

"They've changed the attire schedule on me… sorry Sev… I know you hate it, but I think I'm gonna have ta lead tonight… they don't host learning sessions on formal nights." Severus blinked as Jonathan stepped forwards with him. The bouncer looked them up and down before he nodded and jerked his head at the door. Severus followed in confusion.

"Training for what?" as the seconds door opened a long drawn out trombone note rang out. Severus was floored by what he say.

"Tango… you dance tango?" he asked turning to Jonathan. The man smirked.

"Yeah… but only on Thursdays." He held out his hand as another string of notes rang out.

"Why?" Severus asked as Jonathan place a hand on his waist. Finally a singer walked up to microphone and began belting out a song.

_"I've got you… under my skin."_ Jonathan spun Severus around until the dark man's back was to his chest and his ear to Jonathan's mouth.

"Frank Sinatra night." He murmured huskily before he spun Severus again and they fell into the music.

_"I've got you… deep in the heart of me. So deep in my heart that you're really apart of me…I've got you… under my skin."_ The pair were fluid now, as Severus surrendered himself to Jonathan's lead. The man was gently with his hands, pulled and pushed Severus in time with the rhythm of the song. _"I've tried so, not to give in… I've said to myself this affair, it never will go so well… oh but why should I try ta resist when baby I know damn well…that I've got you… under my skin… I'd sacrifice anything, come what might, for the sake of havin you near, in spite of a warning voice, that comes in the night, it repeats, repeats, in my ear, don't you know you fool you never can win! Use you're mentality! Wake up to reality! But each time I do just the thought of you make me stop!"_ Jonathan and everyone else froze mid swing. _"before I begin…because I've got you…under my skin."_ Severus was swung around again as the music tapered off for a few seconds. He was being swayed slowly as Jonathan hummed the song quietly in his ear. Severus felt his eyes drift closed and he sighed.

"Jonathan…" he murmured quietly. A pair of lips ghosted over his ear before the song began to pick up speed. He began moving Severus around again. Soon the song exploded in a great clash of cymbals. Severus felt Jonathan slightly nudge him this way and that as the two danced with fluidity. The singer started up again.

_"I would sacrifice anything, come what might, for the sake of having you near, in spite of a warning voice, that come in the night, it repeats, how it yells in my ear! Don't you know you fool! Ain't no chance to win! Why not use your mentality! Get up! Wake up to reality! Aaaand each time I do, just the thought of you, make me stop just before I begin!"_ slowly the music mellowed again. Severus and Jonathan were once again back to chest. And Jonathan hummed along with the singer for the last lines.

_"because I've got you… under my skin… and I like you… under my skin…"_ with that Jonathan slowly led Severus off the dance floor into a dimly lit alcove of to the side. Both of them were a bit out of breath from dancing. Or perhaps it was because of the heat in the room. Severus pulled at his top shirt button. Jonathan stared at him for a few seconds.

"Severus…" he murmured. Slowly the two met in the middle. It was slow and gentle. After a few seconds. Severus pulled way. He spent a few seconds searching the man's face before he pulled their foreheads together. With that the two left the club. They made there way back to Severus house. Jonathan lay Severus on the bed gently and slowly undid another button on his shirt. Severus swallowed and Jonathan stopped.

"Severus… do you want this?" the dark potions master was silent for a moment before he nodded. Jonathan looked into his eyes before he sealed their lips together again in a slow passionate kiss. And so they were together. And when they were profoundly bonded as one it was not James that Severus thought of but Jonathan, and as they held each other into the night Severus felt peaceful as he drifted off to sleep. It was with equal peace that Severus rose when a beam of light flashed in his eyes in the early morning light. He chose not to move though trying to sleep through the light. Jonathan stirred next o him and Severus breath a sigh as Jonathan's lips brushed his shoulder and neck. He took a deep breath and rolled over. Jonathan was leaning above him with a lazy tired smile.

"Morning." He whispered before he leaned down for a kiss. Severus leaned back inot his pillows as it ended and breath another sigh. Jonathan was still propped on his elbow beside him. with a smile he rolled over and off the bed, stretching his arms above his head with a grunt, before putting on his clothes and standing. Severus watched him in confusion.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked. Jonathan smiled.

"I'm saving your son from embarrassment of watching me come down half naked." Jonathan said with a smiled. "I'm making breakfast. If you're not down in ten minutes I'll bring it up to you if you like." Severus felt his face heat. No one had made him breakfast in bed in years. Jonathan just leaned down for another kiss before he rose again and smiled.

"Relax Sev." Jonathan said before he left the room and made his way down the stairs. Jonathan frowned. Harry's coat was gone. He went into the kitchen and saw the bowl and glass in the sink. He looked to the kitchen table and sighed. There was a note sitting on the table.

_J+S_

**Seve **

_ Mum,_

_ Be back soon, leave the dishes._

_ Harry_

Jonathan shook his head a bit. But then he shrugged and figured, at least Harry tried to include him. He went about making eggs and toast when Severus came into the kitchen and picked up the note. The dark man sighed with slumped shoulders before he settled heavily into the chair. Jonathan smiled a bit and went over to the fridge for milk. As he closed the door with milk in hand he stopped and looked at picture on the fridge. Jonathan smiled and poured the milk before he returned it to it's proper place. He took the picture and two plates, placing one in front of Severus before he sat across from him and looked at the photo. "This him?" Severus looked at him before he nodded slightly. Jonathan smiled before he flicked his wand and the photo sailed back into its proper place. "you look happy." Severus wiped his mouth with a napkin and looked up at the photo.

"I was… then." He responded with a rough touch. Jonathan frowned before he continued eating. The meal was mostly quiet, though not terribly awkward. Afterwards Jonathan took their plates and turned on the sink water. Severus stood. "No Jonathan, you made breakfast, I'll wash up." Jonathan smiled. He tossed a rag at Severus and motioned to the dishes he placed in the rack. So together the pair washed, dried and put the dishes away, with a fair bit of soapy water getting everywhere. After that the pair sat in the living room amicably. It was then that Jonathan noticed the year book sitting on the coffee table shelf, just under the glass surface. He grinned devilishly and flipped to the back.

"S,S,S… ah ha! There you are Snape, Tobias Severus… Tobias? Your middle name is Tobias?" Severus swallowed.

"It was my father's name…" he said thickly. Jonathan was staring at him with a frown before he looked down at the book.

"That is one crazy coincidence…"Jonathan muttered. Severus frowned.

"Coincidence?" he asked in confusion. Jonathan shook his head.

"Oh its nothing… well it's just… Tobias was my father in law's name… and now… and he was your father… I'm sure its just a coincidence…" Jonathan muttered before he turned to the pages noted in the book.

"The potions club… you all look so formal… except for the red head… she looks like she wan't to kill you…" Jonathan said with a slight laugh. Severus sneered.

"Yes, that is Lily Evans, James's betrothed." Severus drawled. Jonathan sputtered a bit.

"Betrothed!? Wait you married a promised man!?" Jonathan asked in shock. Severus rolled his eyes.

"Really, don't be so prudish… Lily Evans was unable to bear children so her contract with James's mother became moot, so James left her for me…" Severus said with a bitter tone. Jonathan frowned.

"There is no need to sound bitter…" he murmured. Severus sighed and put a hand on his left forearm, long bare now, yet the stain of its existence still present in his life.

"When I was young I made a few mistakes with good intention… as the saying goes those intention pave the way to damnation and when those mistake came to light James left me… he took Harry to her… to Lily… and disguised him and her son… he became Harry Potter, son of James and Lily… and I was left alone… I suppose I'm bitter because… because it was my actions that led to his death… my mistakes… you see… after James left I made it my mission to serve th- to be the best I could be… so that all of my wishes would be granted… and I had but one wish, that my husband and son be spared… but in my pursuit I placed my son in danger… you see… there was a prophecy that foretold the end of my master at the hand of a child… and Harry was the target… it is because of me that James is dead… I all but told the very man that murdered my husband to kill him… all of this with the intent to save him from a fate far worse then death…" as Severus finished his tirade he looked to Jonathan. The man was staring at him with sad understanding.

"You were one of that Volde something guy's followers were you… a death muncher or whatever?" Jonathan asked. Severus couldn't help it. He burst out laughing. But after a while it died down and he put on a straight face. He nodded solemnly. Jonathan just sat quietly for a long time before he tuned to the man and smiled.

"I'm sure you tried your best to save your husband… it's not your fault he died." Jonathan finally said. Severus paled a bit and felt tears form behind his eyes. Jonathan smiled before he flipped to another page in the year book. "Wow… he hated her didn't he." Jonathan said gravely as he looked at the hall of fame portion of the year book. Severus looked at the picture of James and Lily as the cutest couple again and nodded. Jonathan looked down to were Severus was listed and laughed. "an assassin… actually I can see it, all dark and brooding, plus the glare your shooting at Evans could probably kill." Severus rolled his eyes a bit. Jonathan was still shaking in mirth until it slowly tapered off. The man was staring at the book in shocked confusion.

"Peter Petigrew." He murmured quietly. Severus frowned and looked down at the ratty man.

"He was a death eater as well… he died recently… I believe Harry killed him… he truly did never amount to much of anything… he was missing for years of course, then he turned up again in Harry's third year, he'd spent ten years as a rat of all things… hadn't done wonders on his already abysmal intelligence. Really he mostly got stuck underfoot and-" the book fell from Jonathan's fingers as he seized up. "Jonathan." Suddenly he sunk to the ground and began spasming. "JONATHAN!" Harry open the door just as Severus started calling out, but not touching the man that was shivered on the floor, the whites of his eyes flashing in his eyelids. The teen threw his bag off to the side and rushed to his mother's side.

"mum! Calm down! He's having a seizure! Just calm down, panicking wont help. Start counting!" Harry shouted shaking his mother. Severus was still looking around in a panic so Harry slapped him and shook him again. "Start counting! Tell me when you reach 180!" severu swallowed and nodded.

"I hippogryphs, two hippgryphs…" he murmured and Harry jumped to work. Jonathan was still spazaming jerkily. Harry pushed the coffee table to the side and rolled the man gently onto his side. Harry then moved to hold his mother's hand, knowing it was a time when they couldn't do much more then make sure he stayed on his side and didn't hurt his head on the coffee table. Severus gripped Harry's hand like a vice grip. His eyes were closed, but twitching as he mouthed number after number. Twice Harry moved to keep Jonathan on his side. There was a puddle of red troth growing around Jonathan mouth that made Harry wince in sympathy. Severus squeezed his hand.

"One hundred and eighty." Severus muttered.

"Bullocks." Harry cursed and he rushed to the floo. "Mungos!" he cried. A dry voice answered.

"St Mungo's ER what is you emergency?"

"A Jonathan Pecker is having a dangerously long seizure, I need a healer response team here now." Harry said calmly. The ER crackled a bit before the woman responded.

"Please stand back a response team is coming through." Harry jumped back as the flames leapt up and two travel healers rushed out of the flames. As they reached the still shaking man one of the healers turned to Harry.

"What's the count?" he asked as his companion ran diagnostic spells over Jonathan.

"Two hundred and five." Severus muttered quietly before he continued muttering. The two travel nurses looked at one another and one of them moved over to where Severus was sitting on the ground and shone a light in his eyes.

"He's gone into shock, we'll take them both in." the two pulled on cords by their hips and held onto the two patients arms. Harry grabbed the other arm of the healer holding his mum and the household was empty in three seconds. As they arrived in the hospital a wave of healers and medi witches and wizards rushed over to Jonathan's side. The other healer gently sat Severus down on a long bench with Harry before he rushed after the group now rushing to the seizing mans aid. Harry grabbed Severus's hand again and it was once again clutched in a vice grip. Harry heaved a sigh of relief. That meant he was slowly coming out of it. But Harry could see he was still mouthing numbers.

"Mum… stop." Harry murmured gently. And Severus tapered off. He just sat there staring at the wall. Harry sighed and put his hand over top f their joined ones. "Mum… I…I'm sorry… I've tried to tell you yesterday but… I'm sorry for the way I've been acting… I…" Harry didn't finish. Severus squeezed Harry's hand before he released his grip and lifted him arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him into his side.

"It's alright." Severus mumbled quietly. Harry wrapped his own arm around Severus and the pair sat there, holding one another, for what seemed like hours. Finally the monotony of waiting was shattered, when Luna came hurrying down the hall way.

"Harry! Oh Harry I heard about Jonathan, what happened?" Luna asked. Harry frowned and turned to Severus.

"What did happen mum… did he have an allergic reaction or something?" Harry asked. Severus shook his head jerkily.

"No… he was looking through my yearbook and we started talking about Peter Petigrew and he just seized up and…" Severus swallowed and couldn't continue.

"Petigrew? What about him?" Harry asked in confusion. Severus just jerked his head and shook it. Luna frowned and placed a hand on Harry's arm.

"I think we should just leave it at that Harry." Luna said delicately. Harry saw that Severus was turning a delicate shade of pastel green and didn't continue. And so the trio continued to wait for a few more hours finally a medi witch walked out of the ER and up to them.

"We finally removed all the curses that were causing the seizures. He's recovering but we're having a bit of a situation." The nurses said looking at the trio, biting her lip slightly.

"Wait wait wait, what curses?" Harry asked in confusion. Severus was staring at the witch with that unimpressed glare he reserved for particularly incompetent first years. The witch frowned.

"Oh… I thought someone had told you already… you see, your… friend was suffering under a memory curse, several in fact. They were punishment based so that if his subconscious started fighting against them he would feel pain. He had been coming in here for a remedy for headaches that a mind healer had placed as symptoms of grief and depression, but they were really the curses punishing him for trying to fight against them… luckily for us the curses were weak and preformed by someone incompetent, unfortunate for him though as it was that incompetence which caused such a violent seizure. Another element that effected the seizure was the age of the curse, the curses were old. The spells say that the curses were placed exactly seventeen years, two months and nineteen days ago, at 1:30 pm. the day after Halloween in the year of 1980. On top of that was a very well thought out false memory charm. But it had holes. Of course there was another false memory charm that explained those away was episodes suffered due to grief… all and all it was a very clever plan to keep him alive and dead at the same time I think… just poor spell casting…" as the nurse finished Severus voiced a thought that all three of them were thinking.

"Alive and dead at the same time? What are you talking about woman?" the nurse sighed.

"That is the situation I was trying to tell you about before… you see…"

_"He's claiming to be James Potter."_

**~Chapter Finite Incantatum~**

* * *

A/N: *closes vault door, on the front of it **Please don't kill me** is painted in bold red lettering*

A/N: *your pip boy receives a transmission* oops... I almost forgot, please please please vote in my poll... it s very important... thank you.

ice-liger: Yes recently a lot of the story has been focusing on Sev, but it is a family story and a family can have times where they are away from one another. I assure you that Harry and Sev will be having many interaction in the chapters to come...

and there will be many interaction between James and Harry.

and now you're flaming at me so I'll move on.

MaddyR: I'm not sure this is what you had in mind... but if you liked the last chapter I hope you like this one...

even the ending...

and now I'm roasted, moving on.

Angelallie15: Yeah... at least Harry and him talked

but about the liking another guy and not being over his husband...

Ouch! Ouch! Oo, hot! Okay, moving on.

Myouki Kuroki: I'm glad you like it, and if you know a good beta that would be great. I just am too busy writing to really look for one...

I hope you still like the story... even with this ending...

*flame thrower sound effect* oh come on...

*the transmission replays in a loop*


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

A/N: Many of you will be glad to hear this news, since many of you have been saying I need one…

I now have an editor!

Thanks Books! *winks*

* * *

The trio sat there for another twenty minutes. Severus was speechless and immobile; Harry was almost worried he'd gone back into shock. Luna just sat beside Harry holding his hand. After a while Harry stood and began to pace. Severus and Luna followed him with their eyes. Finally he stopped and turned to Luna.

"Could you wait here with mum for a bit…? I'll be a minute or two." With that Harry stepped into the hospital room. He was immediately treated to an unusual mix between an American and English accent.

"… and how long before I start looking like I did before?"

"It's hard to tell sir. The potions you were 'prescribed' were not the best quality and were purchased illegally, it could be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks."

"Brilliant." The strange voice grumbled. "How long before my voice goes back to normal, I sound like a bloody American with a bad British accent."

"The spell is wearing off sir; you should be talking normally in a few hours." The healers said before he walked to the doorway. He paused to take in Harry's expression before he pated the teen on the back. "See you Thursday Harry." He muttered into his ear. Harry swallowed, acknowledging the fact that he had been given sick leave and stepped forwards to take in the man on the hospital bed. He was wearing a pair of borrowed square glasses and his hair was several shades darker but really he looked like Jonathan. Harry stood there not knowing what to say. The man stared back in shock. The pair gaped at each other gormless for a few minutes before the man finally choked out a sentence.

"Harry… you're… you're so big." The man finally said; Harry's fists clenched in a sudden fit of pure rage.

"Yeah… I am…" he ground out. The man faltered.

"Harry… what's wrong?" he asked quietly. Harry gritted his teeth.

"Nothing you deserve to know about." Harry snarled and he turned away. "You made that decision a long time ago." The man in the bed sputtered angrily.

"I didn't ask peter to kidnap me! I didn't ask to miss your childhood!" the man yelled. Harry wiped back around, eye filled with furious tears.

"NO BUT YOU WERE PERFECTLY HAPPY MAKE THAT CHIOCE FOR SOMEONE ELSE!" with that Harry stomped out of the hospital room. Severus was standing in worry.

"Harry…" he began worriedly. Harry just shook his head.

"Come on mum, we're leaving." Harry said as he grabbed Severus's hand and began leading him away rapidly. Luna jogged to catch up and stopped Harry.

"Harry… you're just going to leave your father here all alone?" Luna asked worriedly.

"Yeah, then he'll know how it feels." Harry snarled before he dragged Severus away again, leaving Luna in the hallway to stare after him in worry. The pair returned to the house. There was a heavy silence between them. Harry walked into the living room and righted the coffee table and the fallen year book. He waved his wand and the stain on the puddle of bloody saliva was removed from the hard wood floors. Severus stood off to the side watching Harry meticulously return everything to the way it was before the day had taken a turn for the worse. After a while he cleared his throat.

"You don't have to go on this crusade for me Harry… James made a mistake yes… but I did as well…"

"Yeah, but he didn't even bother to listen to you… if he had been in your shoes and you in his, would you have listened?" Harry asked quietly his back still turned away. Severus sighed.

"Yes, but it would be different…" Severus began. Harry shook his head and stormed past him and half way up the stairs. There he stopped and turned his head a fraction.

"Not different enough." Harry finished before he went the rest of the way up the stairs and slammed his door closed. Severus sighed heavily and slowly made his way over to the couch and sat down heavily. With a sigh he let his head fall into his hands. This was much more then he was prepared for. Jonathan dying, yes, he had dreaded that, but James coming back from the dead… that was something he had not even contemplated. He was confused… so confused… was he meant to halt his mourning and accept James again… or was this all some kind of cruel joke played by the gods and he would lose James again… Severus shook his head and slowly rose. Though the sun was still high in the sky he was tired, perhaps tomorrow, he would be prepared to think about this again. He paused by the spare room door. Inside he could hear Harry shredding something before kicking something else. He rose up his hand to knock but then he could here Harry sit on the spring bed heavily and begin sobbing. Severus sighed and walked over to his own room. They were both tired. Tomorrow would be better. And so Severus slipped into bed. He tossed and turned fitfully for a few minutes before he finally drifted off t an uneasy sleep. Around midnight he woke to a terrible nightmare. Once again he had been on the tower that haunted him since Albus's death. Once again he fired a curse that ended his dearest, oldest, friend's life. But when the body fell to the cold wooden floor it had not been Albus's face staring back at him but James's. He stood there, horrified at what he had done until once again Harry jumped up but instead of screaming at him angrily he began to cackle like Bellatrix had.

"He got what he deserved! He got what he deserved!" Harry had screamed and Severus woke in a cold sweat. Severus made his way shakily out of the room and to the bathroom. He splashed a bit of water over his tired, drawn face and sighed heavily. As he made his way back over to the bedroom he paused and opened the spare bed room door a crack to see how Harry was. The teen had fallen asleep curled around a pillow, still fully clothed, tear tracks clearly visible on his cheeks. Severus stared at him for a few seconds before he went back into his room, retrieved his wand and returned to the door. He flicked his wand and slowly the covers snaked out from under Harry and wrapped around him snugly. The teen whimpered in his sleep and Severus saw a few more tears stream down his face. The man stood contemplating his next move before he finally opened the door and slipped in silently. He brushed Harry's hair away from his forehead and kissed him over his telltale scar. Harry whimpered again making Severus sigh. He ran his fingers through his son's hair for a few seconds before he stood and left the room again. He slipped back into his own bead and stared at the ceiling for a few hours before he finally drifted back to sleep. The next morning began in a pale foggy haze. As Severus stepped into the back garden for an herb he paused and looked up at the sky showing signs of an impending drizzle and sighed. He returned with his herb in time for Harry to slip into the kitchen silently. The pair sat across from one another and ate silently. The only sound that interrupted their stupor was the flutter of the morning post owl and the clink of the required payment. Finally Severus sighed and pushed out his chair to stand. Harry frowned and looked up at him.

"Where are you going?" Harry asked with a hard frown. Severus looked at him for a few seconds before he turned in the direction of the front door.

"To the hospital to check on... on him." Severus finished lamely after a few seconds pause. Harry made a face as though he had swallowed a very bitter potion and glared.

"Just leave him there, it's what he deserves." Harry grumbled angrily. Severus paused as he wrapped his scarf around his face. He stood for a few seconds before he looked at Harry with a very stern face.

"But that isn't what I want, I don't want him to sit there in the hospital alone... it wasn't something I enjoyed, being alone, it isn't something I'd wish on him..." Severus said absolutely. Harry's fist clenched and he sneered before he pushed his chair back and glaring before slamming it back into place. He stormed passed Severus and stomped up the stairs. "Harry!" Severus tried to call after him. But Harry slammed his door with note of finality. Severus stood there for a few seconds. He contemplated how his life had fallen apart as it had. When Voldemort had finally been defeated and he had his son back and he was still alive Severus was so sure that his life was finally going to be happy again. Why was he still being punished… what did he have to do to be happy again? Severus sighed heavily and left the house. He didn't tell Harry where he was going… he knew. Severus made his way through the slight chill to London. As he walked through the small mall to the entrance of st. Mungos his paranoia finally kicked in and he had a horrifying thought. What if the man sitting in that hospital bed was not James, but in fact a very skilled death eater assassin that was seeking revenge for his betrayal. Severus suddenly visualized a jaded 38 year old orphaned Harry with a life as miserable and depressing as his own. He quickly shook his head rapidly but kept his wand close to his hand. He walked into the hospital proper and cleared his throat when he reached reception. The bored looking witch at the corner began talking in her even dull drone.

"That is one serious curse sir… you must have really pissed your spouse off." The witch paused before she leaned forward and squinted. "Come to think of it, you look almost exactly like my old bastard of a potions professor Snape… he was a really arse… he rejected my application for his newts class…"

"That is because you didn't have the proper work ethic to excel Mrs. Withercombit… you spent far too much time chasing after young wizards to truly engage in potions." The witch flushed beet red and gaped at him.

"Professor Snape sir! It is you! Oh… heh heh…" she trailed off in embarrassment. The tall man rolled his eyes.

"Could you direct me to Johna… James Potter's room please." Severus said with a jump. Withercombit looked at him like he was crazy.

"Um, do you need a healer sir?" just as she said this, another witch entered from behind the desk.

"Here's the updated patients list Maria… oh professor Snape! You're here to see your husband now? You left in quite a rush yesterday…" the brunette witch said. Severus frowned at the vaguely familiar witch before his eyes lit up in recognition.

"Elizabeth Anderson… well this isn't much of a surprise…your healer training went well then… were my tips useful?"

"Very sir, my study habits truly did need improving, thank you again for that sir… oh your husband is on the fourth floor room 247… I think he's awake already… poor thing has been asking to see Sirius Black… no one knows what to tell him…" healer Anderson said quietly. Severus frowned before he nodded and turned for the stairs. He took them slowly, with great deliberation, debating his first move upon entering the hospital room. He walked down the hall at an even pace until he finally stood in the door way. He stood there for a few seconds until he took a deep breath and stepped into the room. He walked around the curtain and froze in shock. James was leaning back into his pillows reading a book about defense strategies of the nineties. After a few minutes of Severus simply observing the man for any nuances James closed the book and took of his glasses to polish them. As he held the glasses loosely in one hand he ruffled his hair with his fingers, a gesture Severus knew only too well, and replaced his glasses. The two locked gazes and for a few seconds no one moved.

"Severus…" James finally murmured in shock. It took two seconds for Severus to have his wand trained on the man.

"Prove to me you are who you claim to be." Severus said harshly. The man looked at him in shock.

"Severus…"

"Prove to me!" Severus snarled angrily at the man. He looked at Severus for a few seconds before he sighed and looked off to the side. There was silence in the room before the patient in the he began to speak.

"In our sixth year I realized that I preferred men… I suppose I had always been that way… but I didn't pay attention to it, because I was so worried about pleasing my parents… that same year was the year that my friends and I began to truly attack this one Slytherin in our year we had tormented for our entire school career that far… one of the ways my friends liked to torment him was with his sexual orientation… and orientation I shared… it weakened our friendship for a while…one day when I went out for a walk to cool off from another fight with my friends I noticed that same boy sneaking into the forbidden forest… I didn't know why he was but I wanted to know why, so I followed him… I soon became lost, just as he had, and we bumped into each other, a short row later we heard a strange noise. Together we snuck off to a nearby clearing where a dark wizard was performing a dark ritual on a centaur. Together the two of us dueled and defeated the dark wizard and freed the centaur… it was that day that I realized I loved that boy… that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him… now my father had a lover I had known about for quite a while and he and his lover had twin patronus's… St. Bernards, male and female… he told me that because they shared a patronus form, they were soul mates… I did not believe him at the time… but when I saw that doe… when I saw you cast that doe Severus… I knew… I…" James couldn't finish. Severus didn't need him to. He handed James his wand. The man took it with a loving smile and lifted it. "expecto patronum." His princely buck burst out of the wand and stood proudly in the hospital room. James smiled and turned the wand reversed and the spell disappeared. He held the handle out to Severus. The man took it and pocketed it. With that Severus pulled up a chair and grasped James' hands.

"You're… I… you're alive." Severus choked out. James smiled widely and reached out to wipe a few tears away from his lover's cheek, despite the fact that his own cheeks had tears.

"Oh Severus… I am so sorry… if I could go back and change anything… I would have stayed… I'm so sorry." James said as he and Severus leaned their foreheads together. Severus heaved a heavy sigh.

"Nothing would have changed James… except that you and I would be dead… and Harry would likely be dead as well…" Severus said with a quiver. James sniffed and leaned back into the pillows, wiping his face.

"As it is Harry grew up fine right… wait a minute… why didn't Harry know you were his mum? You said he didn't know you were his mother…" James trailed off looking at the dark man in confusion. Severus looked up his face ashen. Suddenly he had been reminded of quite a few reasons why he and James should not be together again… a few lives that Severus had on his hands. "Severus… you didn't raise Harry… did you?" James asked with a white face. Severus looked at him with pain filled eyes.

"Harry was raised by his aunt and uncle Petunia and Vernon Dursley… I didn't deserve him… Harry was raised as the son of James and Lily potter… just as you had wanted…" Severus whispered to a horrified James before he stood shakily and walked to the edge of the privacy curtain.

"Severus! Severus where are you going!" James asked as he tried to exit the hospital bed he was entangled in. Severus stood with his back to him.

"I'm going home… we've changed James… I think we should…" he whispered brokenly.

"Don't say it!" James begged as he finally got up from the bed. "Don't tell me to see someone else! I love you Severus! Only you!" Severus screwed his eyes shut in his returned guilt.

"Yes… but obviously I can be swayed by attractive young Americans… we've drifted apart James… I need… time… I need time…" Severus repeated drawing strength from the knowledge that he had the time to spare. James stood there heartbroken before he closed his eyes and took a few steps back.

"Alright Severus… I'll give you time… but I will always wait for you." Severus nodded and left James in the hospital. He didn't look back. James stood there, watching Severus go until he turned and sat back down on the mattress. After a few minutes a healer came in and handed him some healing potions and the clothes he had been wearing when he entered the hospital as Jonathan Pecker.

"You're free to go now sir. Is there anyone in particular you'd like us to call for you?" James resisted the urge to say Severus, knowing that a call right now would not be appreciated.

"Albus Dumbledore." James finally said. He frowned when the witch looked at him with a sad and strangely horrified expression.

"He's unavailable at the moment… anyone else?" she said with a slight quiver. James stared at her like she was a mad women, wondering how she could possible know if Dumbledore was busy or not, but thought of someone else he'd call on in his time of need. He smiled, shook his head and laughed at his own foolishness.

"Remus John Lupin." He said with a laugh. Really he should have thought of the werewolf sooner. The woman smiled and walked away. James quickly dressed in his clothes just as he heard a raging on the other side of the door. The hospital door was blasted off its hinges and James was pushed in a wall as Remus held his wand quick fast to James' throat.

"Who are you?!" Remus snarled as he stabbed James in the neck harder. "Who are you and how dare you claim to be James Potter!" James laughed a bit and Remus jabbed harder still.

"Any harder old friend and you'll be cleaning blood off your wand… I swear it's me Remus… when you, Sirius and I were seventeen we buried a rock across the lake from the big birch tree and made a promise that we would always be friends." James rasped out. The wand was removed from his neck as both of the werewolf's hands moved to clutch his shoulders. Remus stared into his face in shock.

"James? It's really you?" James nodded with a smile. Remus broadly and the pair embraced with much back thumping and laughter. Remus helped his friend out of the hospital and they made their way to Remus's family home in moonstone bay, where a very shocked Dora Lupin had to be calmed and reassured that her husband was not under the imperious curse whilst she held both him and his last friend at wand point. Now they sat in Remus's drawing room as he recounted the event that lead to his reuniting with Sirius and the man's inevitable death. "And he just… just fell… there was nothing we could do… he was already dead from Bella's curse… but it would have been nice… to hold a service… Harry was quite badly hurt by it all… he felt responsible for a very long time… I just felt that it was so unfair… he had spent the best parts of his life locked away for a crime he didn't commit… and then he was free… he didn't even have the chance to live that life of freedom… I still remember us as teens… Sirius never got a chance to live his dreams… and now here we are… I thought I was the last of the marauders… irony not lost on me I assure you! The one with the shortest life span the last of a band of friends…" Remus trailed off as his son woke from his nap and began to cry. James, who had turned towards the sound, looked back to his old friend and smiled.

"You are not alone now Remus… let me meet my nephew then!" he said with a wide smile. Remus sighed in return and disappeared out the drawing room door. As he left James smile fell and he leaned back into the sofa. Sirius dead! Unhappy news indeed was that. He tried to smile again as he heard Remus approaching but knew that his heart wasn't in it. He did feel a flicker of joys as Teddy Lupin sat in front of him, staring in infantile wonder at the sight of someone new. But he knew he felt that he was beginning to overstep his welcome.

"Would you like to stay for dinner James? We're having pot roast." Dora asked with a good natured smile. James shook his head.

"No but I was wondering if you could flag me the night bus Remus." James asked with a self conscious smile. Remus frowned.

"Oh? Is your wand missing? What happened to the wand that you were using as Jonathan?" Remus asked as he stepped out with his friend to the road. James sighed

"It stopped working for me… I tried it out yesterday; I couldn't get any response out of it… I'm planning on getting a new wand tomorrow… gods it's Christmas next week isn't it? Hang on? Harry never finished his N.E.W.T.s right? Why isn't he at Hogwarts?" James asked with a frown. Remus shook his head.

"The school was rather badly damaged in the battle as such most of the repairs weren't finished until just last month. But Minerva didn't think it would be smart to reopen the school for a month only for it to empty again for winter holidays, so the school will open on the second Monday of January… I think I heard a rumor that Severus just confirmed he is returning to teach potions… I should hope he is welcomed… I'd hate for him to lose his job so soon after getting it back…" Remus said blandly without thinking. James was frowning hard.

"Getting it back? What are you talking about? What job? Severus works at Hogwarts? Why wouldn't he be accepted?" James asked to a now slightly horrified Remus. The werewolf was saved answering by the arrival of the night bus. "What is going on Remus?! What aren't you telling me?!" James demanded angrily. Remus just regarded him with a pained expression.

"I am not the one you need t talk with about this James… it would be better if you heared it from Severus." with that Remus turned away and returned to his house. James watched his friend walk away before he turned and climbed up onto the night bus.

"Bloody 'ell… am I dead?" Stan Stunpike asked James as he got real close to his face. James rolled his eyes.

"Boo." He said with a grumble. Stan jabbed James with his finger and whistled.

"You're bloody James potter! I know your son! He rode on this bus once!" Stan insisted with rapid nodding as though he feared that James would not believe him. James rolled his eyes again.

"Who hasn't?" James asked gloomily. Finally the bus lurched forwards and James sat onto one of the beds heavily as the bus swayed this way and that.

"You're lucky you are! Heroes ride free! By the way, where would you like off?" James waited until the bus was on a strait away so that it lurched less.

"Edwinstowe. Let me off at The Black Swan." James said before the bus lurched forwards again. Six more gut lurching jumps and a few more stops and finally the bus stopped in front of a white building with a wooden roof. The sign pointing out to the street was label Black Swan depicting the bird circled in and elegant position. James stepped off of the bus. Stan leaned out the bus and tipped his hat.

"Be seeing you, Mr. Potter!" he called before the bus lurched again and disappeared. James stood outside the door and took a deep breath and stepped inside. He walked up to the desk and sighed.

"Room for the night?" he asked forlornly. The elderly woman at the desk gasped and looked at him with her glasses on.

"James?" she asked in shock. James blinked before he stared at her in shock as well.

"Linda? My god woman! It's been ages!" he said as his face broke into a smile. Linda frowned.

"Ages! My dear boy I heard you were dead! We all did! I got an invitation to your funeral for god's sake! I couldn't go on account of my health but my word boy! You're alive? Oh dear… perhaps you're not alive at all but I've finally died… is William here?" she asked worriedly. James smiled.

"No no Linda, I promise you, I'm alive… I was kidnapped… then I was suffering from amnesia… the person who died only looked like me… it wasn't actually me. My god I thought you'd be gone for sure… is there anyone else still here? Michael and Susan? Are they still around?" James asked, thinking about his friends from his life before.

"They had two children, the family moved to Paris last year for Susan's work." Linda said as she led James to a table where the pair sat down.

"What about Robert? Is he still running the flower shop down the road?" James asked. Linda shook her head.

"Poor man had a stroke. His daughter is running the shop now, sometimes you can see him sitting outside the shop just enjoying the sunny days." Linda said. James shook his head in shock then he smiled.

"Did William and Tiffany run away together?" James asked. Linda smiled happily.

"Yes they did! Just the summer after you were gone William said he was tired of being indecisive. He and tiffany disappeared off into the night. According to letters that William sends to his grandmother Tiffany and him have two daughters and Tiffany is expecting a third child quite soon actually. They're up in Scotland now… apparently they're herding sheep." Linda recounted to James broad smile.

"Good for them!" he said happily. "Just one last thing Linda. Is Elizabeth still here?" the old inn keeper grinned broadly.

"I don't think that old bird will ever leave. She still up there at her manor with her dogs… you know it's really quite shocking… your son and husband came back just a few months ago… though I should warn you James, your husband has been seeing this flashy American, or so the vine has been spreading… I do so hope you two can sort this out before that dear son of yours gets hurt." James was no longer smiling when Linda finished. He juts sighed and hung his head.

"I really think it's too late for that Linda. I feel as though I've already done something to harm him… he just won't tell me what." James said with a shake of his head. Linda pated the young man's hand and stood slowly. James rose as well and moved for the stairs with Linda.

"Don't worry my dear; things will turn out for the better I'm sure. Room three is free dear, and James," James stopped as he was ascending and turned back to Linda. "Welcome back." Linda finished before James smiled and continued up the stairs to room number three. There he settled on the bed and opened the curtains of the window beside it. He stared out to the town in remembrance. Eighteen years earlier he had done this. Sighing as Severus settled beside him. "This is our home Sev… I can feel it." And now James was back. Back to his true home.

"The outlaw returns to Sherwood forest." James mumbled to himself with a smirk before he closed the curtains and went through his evening absolutions. He slept peacefully in the comfy beds till dawn. He rose early and prepared himself for a relatively relaxing day. He left the inn, waving to Linda and walked down Church Street to the Ganache Cake House. He looked around before he walked down the side of the building to the back. There he stood as a blank wall.

"I called the bishop a fat pig." James muttered and before him the blank wall bloomed into a door. He stepped through the door to reveal a room with a desk and a fireplace. James stood before the desk, where a white haired glasses wearing man was dozing, and cleared his throat. The man woke with a start.

"I don't give fare for death eaters!" he cried out. James chuckled endearingly.

"Sleeping on the job again Charlie?" the man blinked at him in shock for a few minutes before he wet his mouth.

"James? Is that really you? Am I drunk?" Charlie asked all of this with a slur. James shook his head.

"Yes you are, can I get a ride to the leaky?" James asked. The man nodded before he handed James his flask and tried to raise the bag of floo powder to his lips. James stopped him and swapped the two. Charlie looked between the flask and the bag before he nodded and took a good long draught. James stepped into the fireplace and shook his head. "The Leaky Cauldron!" he cried and he was consumed in a plume of emerald green flames. He stepped out on the other side and tried to blend into the crowd so that he might not be seen. He made it about half way down the street when he was clutched at by ruby red, claw like, nails.

"Harry my dear! So lovely of you to come! Now, I'd love for an intervi… hang on, who are you?" Rita Skeeter asked the now struggling man. James finally wrenched his arm free.

"I'm no one!" James insisted before he fled quickly in the opposite direction. But the flame had been lit; James could see it in the vulture's eyes. His 'return' would be front page news tomorrow, he was sure of it. James tried to push the thought out of his mind as he finally reached his destination. He let the door jingle as it closed. " Garrick? Garrick are you here?" James jumped when the ladder on the wall thumped as Garrick Oleander slid into view. James stared at him in horror. The man looked gaunt and tired and thin as a wraith. "Good god man! What happened to you?" the wand maker stared at James with shining eyes.

"So it seems I've died at last… fitting really… I survive months of torture…" Ollivander slowly made his way down the ladder with a few grunts "and die in my sleep." He finished. James blinked at him.

"Torture? What happened?" James asked. Ollivander walked down one of the wand shop aisle.

"I was captured, and held by Voldemort." Ollivander reached up for a wand just above his head with a grunt. "He wanted me to tell him why his wand and your sons wand acted the way they did whenever the two of them dueled." Ollivander held the wand out for James as he reached the young man. James held it before he shook his head and placed it on the desk in front of him. Ollivander nodded and moved for another wand. "I could give no answer… that didn't please the dark lord at all, I assure you." he handed James another wand.

"But how did you escape?" James asked as he placed that wand on the desk with its counterpart. Ollivander climbed up a ladder for a box and climbed down with a few grunts.

"Your son. He was captured as well… then we were all saved by a house elf… poor thing died saving us…" he held the wand out for James. The wand hummed happily in James hand and he nodded. "12 inches. Cedar this time. phoenix core. Once again, good for transfiguration, but also defense, which may come in handy. Do try not to leave it lying around this time, I'd hate to attend the same funeral twice." James glared at the man. But he could see a bit of mirth in Ollivander's eyes.

"The fare?"

"Seven galleons."

"What! It was five when I bought my wand!" James cried out in indignation. Ollivander shrugged his shoulders.

"Inflation my dear boy, it affects us all." James, with his face set in a frown, dug into his pocket for the required gold.

"Inflation my arse." He muttered angrily but handed over the required amount. Ollivader waved at him good naturedly as James swept out of the shop, practicing a few basic charms to get a feel for his new wand. He was having particular trouble with the bouquet conjuring charm.

"Come on! It's not that hard! Just ORCHIDEOUS!" James cried performing the movements. Just as he did this a couple walking down the street ran into him. His wand exploded with a flurry of petals and flowers. "Oh my goodness! I am so sorry! It's a new wand and it's kind of… finicky." James finished lamely. The couple he had run into was none other than Harry and Luna Lovegood. "Harry." James said quietly as he helped brush a few more flower petal off of his son's shoulders. Luna was brushing her own shoulders off and picked a few petals out of her hair and Harry's hair.

"Hello mister Potter… Harry and I were just talking about you." Luna said with a good natured smile. James smiled in return.

"Oh? Well… sorry again about the flowers. You know to tell you the truth, that spell was the only transfiguration spell I just couldn't master." Luna laughed a bit. But it died quickly. Harry was glaring at James darkly. The other two felt awkward and the trio stood there in a heavy silence for a long while. James cleared his throat.

"So Harry… you looking forward to going back to Hogwarts? I hear they're opening next month… of course I'm sure you're more excited about Christmas coming up next week…" James trailed off. Harry's jaw was clenched. "I er…" James tried again. But Harry interrupted him.

"Go away." He said angrily. James just blinked at him in hurt. Luna opened her mouth to say something but Harry just tugged her arm. "Come on Luna, let's go." Harry went to drag her away but she held fast. It was a momentary battle that ended with Harry relenting and storming off without her. She stayed for a moment, sparing an apologetic smile for James, before she hurried after Harry. She caught up with Harry just as a crack of appiration signified James leaving.

"Harry! That was rude! You should have at least tried to be civil!" Luna said with a huff. Harry just grunted as the two walked into flouresques ice creamery and sat at one of the tables. The proprietor walked up to the pair and smiled.

"Harry! Nice to see you again! What can I get you? It's on the house!"

"Two hot fudge sundaes and two small hot chocolates please." Harry muttered darkly. Floresques's face fell and he walked away with the menus with a worried glance back. Luna grabbed one of Harry's hands from across the table.

"What is wrong Harry? Tell me."

"I don't want to talk about it Luna…" Harry said with a tone more morose then angry. Luna squeezed his hand.

"You have to talk about it Harry, it's the only way it'll get better." Luna said gently. Harry sighed and looked at Luna encouraging face before he looked down at their joined hands.

"He's the reason I grew up as an orphan…" Luna frowned.

"I don't understand… are you angry because he was kidnapped?"

"No! It wasn't his fault that Pettigrew was a creepy prick! No… my mum… he chose to leave me with the Dursleys because he thought that he didn't deserve to raise me… and the only reason he thought that was because dad took me away to live with Lily… I'm angry with him for not listening to mum… then maybe… maybe mum could have raised me… and life could have been different." Harry stopped talking as their food arrived. Luna and him both raised their spoons and savored the hot fudge on the cold day that it was. After a few bites Harry began talking again "I'm also angry at mum for not caring. Mum should be furious with dad… but he's not… he's just worried what dad will think when he finds out about all the stuff that mum's done…" Harry says. Luna sighed.

"You have to admit that those are not unfound worries." She says. Harry chuckled darkly.

"okay, I'll admit I don't want to be in the room when the Dumbledore bombshell goes off… that'll be one hell of a row, I can just see it… probably rip them apart actually…" for some reason that prospect didn't fill Harry with the sense of joy he expected. Instead it made him feel sort of empty. Suddenly the ice cream was much too cold, despite the lovely warm fudge. Harry poked at it with his spoon while Luna just sighed and reached for his hand. She captured it and gave a squeeze. Harry smiled and raised their joins hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on Luna's hand. The blond smiled happily back. Harry didn't feel so empty anymore and the ice cream seemed the perfect temperature once again. He began eating it quickly hoping to save the last remanence not left runny from his momentary appetite loss. Quite a few brain freezes, accompanied by giggling fits from Luna, and laughing later he and Luna left the café, Harry leaving a rather large tip as per habit, and apperated back to the house. Harry and Luna were shocked to see James standing at the door.

"Severus pleases! Just hear me out! I'm begging you!" James cried. Harry recalled a memory he witnessed quite similar to this scene. "Harry! Please convince your mother to at least talk to me!" James begged. Harry was tight lipped. But Luna jabbed him in the back and looked at him with a pointed expression. Harry huffed and nodded jerkily.

"Fine… but I make no promises." With that Harry entered the house with Luna. The pair ascended the stairs and Harry went to knock on Severus's door. "Mum, just go and talk to him, even if it's to tell him to leave. You know he won't unless you open the door and say it to his face." Harry didn't wait for a response. He disappeared into the other room with Luna. As Harry closed his door Severus opened his own. With a heavy sigh he descended the stairs and opens the door. James jumped up from his position seated on the front steps and looked at Severus forlornly.

"Will you go out with me?" James asked hopefully. Severus sighed.

"James I'm not ready for… wait what?" Severus finished in confusion.

"Go out on a date with me Severus. And I promise I won't drink a drop. I just… I don't want to give up on us Severus… and… and I'm afraid that if I give you time we'll drift apart… I want to be with you Severus…" Severus and James stood in silence, staring at one another before Severus sighed.

"James I…" the messy haired man looked to Severus with puppy dog eyes."Fine." Severus whispered out in bitter sad defeat. James smiled broadly. He then proceeded to all but drag Severus out of the house. They walked through the town James pointing out all of the shops that he and Severus had noticed when they first moved to the little town north of Nottingham. Together they went to the town's most popular restaurant. They each ordered the daily special, something they had always done when going there. True to his word James didn't drink a drop, but years of Hogwarts dinners had refined Severus's taste for wine. Yet somehow Severus had drained a whole bottle. And it was with a buzzing headache that he woke in his bed the next morning. He blinked at the light in his eyes and moaned. "Ugh… what time is it?" he muttered to himself.

"It's ten thirty… don't worry… go back to sleep." James murmured in response as he nestled closer to Severus. The dark man sighed in content. Then his eye flew open in surprise and horror.

"Oh god… did we…"

"No… just sleep." James begged keeping his eyes closed. Severus frowned.

"We didn't?" James groaned and rolled unto his back and rubbed sleep from his eyes.

"No, we just slept… it was nice… less lonely." James sighed with a stretch. Severus juts watched as James rose.

"Where are you going?"

"To make breakfast." James said leaning down for a kiss. "See you in a few." With that James went down the stairs as Severus smiled minutely and snuggled back into the blankets. James began making eggs and bacon and toast, humming to himself. Just as he was placing a few more strips of bacon on the pan a delivery owl swooped in. James took the letters and paper and paid the owl. He unfurled the daily prophet for the front cover, which showed a picture of him eighteen years ago. The headline screamed to the world 'James potter rises from the grave! Harry Potter a necromancer?!' which made James groan in sympathy of his son. One of the letters was a letter from Minerva McGonagall to Severus. there was a letter from the floo company requesting a confirmation of connection and finally a letter from 's that James assumed was a medical bill from his treatment in the hospital. James ripped the letter open with a grumble. What he read was not something that pleased him. The entire household woke with his cry of Fury. "HARRY JAMES POTTER!" in a few seconds Severus came barreling down the stairs wand at the ready groggily trying to keep with bath robe together despite it being twisted in such a way that one arm was inside out. James thrust the incriminating letter towards him.

"POTTER!" Severus screamed in habit after he read the letter. The two stood there at the bottom of the stairs before Harry finally moved to the top of the stairs. He was groggy and he had bags under his eyes.

"What are you shouting for? It's too bloody early in the morning for this…" just as he said this Luna walked out of the spare room.

"Harry… what's going on?" James and Severus looked at Harry once again in anger.

"Go home Lovegood." Severus hissed in a dangerously quiet voice. Luna perked right up and nodded; descending the stairs rather quickly and dashing out the door. Harry walked down the stairs fully.

"What's up?" James scoffed and thrust the letter towards Harry. As Harry reached the end of the letter his skin had turned a nasty shade of eggshell white.

"Oh." Harry rasped.

"Oh? OH?! Harry this is serious!" Harry flinched at James' tone.

"Why is this so bad?" Harry asked defensively.

"Why is… why is this so bad? Good God Harry! You hold peoples' lives in our hands! Without the proper training you could bloody kill someone!"

"And that's what I'm getting, the proper training!" Harry was shouting now. Severus felt very uncomfortable.

"This isn't enough! Not nearly! Harry you need your N.E.W.T.S. to become a healer! There is no way around it! Tomorrow, you and I are going to St. Mugo's and I'm taking you out of this course!"

"WHAT!"

"And then you're going to apologies to the dean of the hospital for wasting their time! And you're going to Hogwarts in January to take your N.E.W.T.S!"

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"

"I'M YOUR FATHER! I HAVE EVERY RIGHT!"

"I NEVER SAID I WANTED YOU FOR A FATHER!"

"Stop!" Severus finally screamed clutching his head with his hands. "Please juts stop… Harry… your father is right… you need a proper understanding of certain subjects to join the healer program… potions… for instance." He said with a pained, but pointed look. Harry looked between the two of them in fury and stormed back up the stairs, fuming. Severus flinched when Harry slammed is door.

"I'm sorry Severus… I shouldn't have yelled like that… I just… I wanted him to understand…" Severus just shook his head and leaned on James's shoulder. "I just… I know that he could probably have passed the course just fine… but then one day someone would come in dying from some spell he didn't recognize that he would have learned… I just don't want him to have to go through that… he'd be blamed for that patient's death… I don't want my son to carry that burden." Severus was silent as James finished. The two just stood in the hall way holding each other. After a few minutes Severus reached up and clutched at James' face.

"James… you're going to hear about thing that I have done in this war… some of them will be lies told by angry people… but some of it will be true… I just… promise me that no matter what you hear… please don't hate me…" Severus begged and he leaned his face into the crook of James' neck "I couldn't live with that." He mumbled. James lifted Severus's face.

"I promise you Severus that no matter what I hear, I will never stop loving you. No matter what it is you've done, we'll find a way through it." James insisted. Severus saw sincerity in James's eyes but his heart was still heavy with the knowledge of the secrets he bared. In the end he reasoned to wait to see what fate had in store for him and embraced James once more.

~Chapter Finite Incantatum~

* * *

A/N: Holy glory to the great gods above…

It's done…

Longest chapter yet and it's done.

Linda isn't going to be an important character I don't think but she does help the story move forward.

Just so you know. Edwinstowe is a real town in England. They're really is a black swan inn there as well as the Granache Cake House. I wanted the town to be realistic. So I picked a town north of Nottingham. If I guessed the name of the inn owner it was 'sheer dumb luck' I swear…

NATWEST: Why thank you *curtsies*

Lady necromancer: oooo! Oh I'm so glad people guessed it! I hope this is soon enough for you.

Flying Chrissy: and Harry is still being a whinny teenager here… but we forgive him. after all it's not every year you find out your mother isn't who you thought it was, you die, and it's revealed that a father you thought was dead for eighteen years was actually alive kidnap by a friend who betrayed him living in sunny California disguised as an American…

Wow… why does this fic sound like a really good but super cheesy TV drama? *cough* Once Upon a Time *cough cough*

Anyways, once again I beg you to vote in my poll so I can bring you new stories to enjoy in the next few months.

Thanks for reading :D

-TTC


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

A/N:

There are many rows of white chairs before a coffin as well as many people sniffling in those chairs.

"Dear friends and comrades, we are here today to celebrate a great life. She was a writer, an artist, but also a friend. Booknerd00, if you could step forwards and say a few words."

"You guys are blowing this way out of proportion! She not dead! She just had months of writers block because she wanted to write a Christmas chapter but it wasn't in her notes! So she was at a loss on how to continue!"

THAT'S RIGHT!

See guys! You're all harping about how I'm taking so long

What did I say?

"This fic likely won't update very quickly…"

You know there are fic out that that still aren't finished that haven't been updated in seven years!

SEVEN YEARS!

Harry killed Voldemort in that time!

Be lucky this fic has only been dead for a few months… Yeesh you guys are rabid.

All joking aside, thank you very much to everyone who stuck with me through the writer's block season.

Without any further ado

ONWARDS!

* * *

The dawn rose wet and foggy. It was a regular English winter again. James simply lay in comfortable warmth as the rain skittered across the glass of the bedroom window pinging light tiny little bells. After a while Severus made a content noise and his eyes slowly opened a crack.

"What time is it?" Severus asked quietly through barely opened lips. James smiled.

"Early… probably… I have no idea. You got rid of the clock on my side." James replied with a cheeky grin. Severus snorted and closed his eyes to sleep again. James lay next to him admiring his lovers figure. He trailed his hand up Severus's arm. The man smirked.

"Really James, It a bit late for that." Severus said. It was James time to smirk.

"But we don't even know what time it is." James insisted as he rolled the two over so that he loomed above Severus. He leaned down and began attacking Severus's neck. Severus groaned out in bliss.

"James… what would you do for me?" Severus asked with a slight hitch. James paused in his efforts.

"Anything." He whispered against his lover's neck. Severus smirked again. He lifted James face to his own.

"Anything you say?" with that James was sent on a quest. To go to the bakery on Church Street and by his poor exhausted lover a breakfast sandwich. James was muttering about teasing husbands and cockblockers through the whole endeavour. The muttering made the delicate flower of a baking assistant blush crimson and giggle like an idiot. This made the sandwich take twice as long to be made. This didn't improve James's mood. By the time he returned to the house the little drizzle had soaked him to the bone and he was decidedly annoyed with Severus. He was in half a mind to eat the bloody sandwich and make Severus go out and get it himself. But as he peeled off his soaked clothes, teeth chattering, and entered the kitchen Severus was waiting with a pot of tea just the way he liked it. James felt a smile tug onto his cold lips and he sat next to Severus handing him the sandwich. The dark potions master smiled wide and unwrapped it before taking a large bite. The moan Severus made was truly evil James thought. That and he had become decidedly jealous of that sandwich.

"Thank you James." Severus drawled before he leaned over and gave James a peck on the cheek. James sputtered.

"What kind of a kiss is that? I just trudged though a monsoon to get you that sandwich, I've been changed for life! I'll never be the same… the terrors I've faced out their will scar me for life! I," James's indignant rant was cut short with Severus's hand on his face. The dark man rolled his eyes and leaned in for a proper kiss. It was then that a feathery tennis ball connected with Severus's head.

"What the…" Severus said as the owl hooted excitedly as he whipped around them like a small owl shaped meteor.

"What the hell?" James questioned before his honed seeker skills snatched the manic owl out of the air. The fuzzy ball hooted happily from his fist. "This is the weirdest owl I've ever seen…"

"It's Harry's friend's owl." Severus commented. James removed the letter from the owl. But the bird didn't take off.

"Er… what's wrong with it?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"The bird's wings are too small in comparison to its body to give it enough thrust to take off." Severus said as he took the bird from James. He walked over to the window and threw the bird into the air. James watched as the bird flittered away happily puttering along despite the wicked throw Severus had subjected it to.

"Wow… that bird is a trooper." James commented. Severus rolled his eyes. James tossed the letter onto the table.

"Harry will read it when he comes down… so… where were we?" James asked with a wiggling eyebrow. Severus once again leaned down for a kiss when another owl swooped in. James looked at it and shook his head turning back. Only to be interrupted again by another pair of owls. "What is this, the bloody owlery?! Shoo! The lot of you!" James said waving the disgruntled birds away after removing their parcels. Just as the last one flew out Severus closed the window. James smiled and the pair moved in for their kiss. A loud thump brought them apart again. An owl was slowly streaking down the window with a squeal.

"I hate owls." James said with deadpan. Severus sighed and let the bird in. he took the prophet and paid the creature before shooing the bird away. As he did this Harry walked in and all at once James knew the day would go from bad to worse. Yet the boy said nothing. He faced his parents with stony silence making small noises as he made a cup of tea and ate a bowl of cereal. He noticed the letters on the table and threw his father a dirty look, reminded of yesterday, before he took the letters and stuffed them into his pocket messily. He drained the milk from the bottom of his bowl before he threw his bowl and cup into the sink loudly and left from the room just as silently as he walked in. James sighed and propped his elbows onto the table, clutching his hair into his fists. Severus sighed silently and opened the newspaper while James opened his own letters. The quite rustle of morning was quickly broken with a burst of laughter from James. Severus frowned and looked up from his paper.

"What is so funny James?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. James suppressed his mirth with a clearing of his throat.

"I've been denied re-entry to the aurors." James replied with another chuckle. Severus looked at him like he'd finally cracked and gone mad. "No no, it's the reason they denied me that's funny. Because I 'died' more than fifteen years ago they can't re accept me without me first taking my N.E.W.T.s over again." Severus frowned.

"Why not? Surely you have the field experience to supplement the required credits…" Severus reasoned with a hard look. James snorted again.

"No, because my records were expunged after ten years." James said with a smirk. Severus raised an eyebrow again.

"Do all aurors have that or was it just you?" Severus asked, folding the newspaper back down.

"All aurors have that. Aurors aren't declared dead in the records until ten years later. Because sometimes if an auror is undercover they might need to fake their own death to break out of it, so an auror isn't declared dead and given any post-mortem medals until ten years after their death. So, because seven years ago my record was expunged they have no record of any of my infield achievements. They have certificates for post mortem medals I received, namely an order of Merlin, third class and a ruby phoenix of valour, but no record of why I received those awards beyond 'heresy'. So I'd have to resubmit my application, BUT I cannot be re accepted because the requirement from acceptance has changed in regards to academics in the last fifteen years, therefore, since my education records are from twenty years ago I'd have to take my N.E.W.T.s over again." James explained. By the end of this Severus was chuckling and shaking his head. James just chuckled a bit more before he tossed the letter aside for the other. He quickly scanned the contents and smiled.

"Molly has invited us over from Christmas eve Dinner tomorrow." James said happily sipping at his tea before pulling the newspaper his way as Severus bit into his sandwich again. He quickly swallowed.

"Joy." Was his deadpanned reply. James sent a look his way.

"Come on Severus, it's not so bad, Remus will be there I'm sure." James said. Severus scoffed.

"Joy." He responded again much to James' chagrin. And so the pair spent their day lazing about enjoying one another company for the first time in more than a decade. The read, they drank tea and played one game a chess, which James had gotten no better at in the years since they had last played, and gave off a general air of domestic peace. But deep down they both worried for the bitter silent teenager that likely spent his entire day sulking in his bedroom. He didn't come down for any meals, much to both his parents' stress, despite the fact that Severus and James were almost certain that he had no food up in his bedroom. They did leave a plate on the dining table with a warming charm when they finished their evening meal, hopeful that if he did not want to eat with them, he might come down after they were in bed to get something to eat. With that they went up to sleep. As Severus lay down beside James he marveled at the day. They had just spent a day together as if nothing had changed. Yet as he felt James drift off beside him he knew that it would not last. The thought haunted him into his sleep, wherein James discovered the truth from some other source and hated him for it. Then Harry appeared and told him that he too would never forgive him, then the pair turned away and left Severus alone in the darkness that reached out and consumed him and whispered in his ear as Voldemort once had, insisting that it had been right all along, and Severus would never belong with James and Harry. He woke with a start and a hoarse cry as James and Harry disappeared from sight. Next to him James woke with a jump.

"wasswrong sev'us..." James slurred tiredly. Severus shook his head before pulling out of the bed.

"It's nothing, go back to bed…" Severus muttered quietly. James tried to stay awake but fell back asleep with a snuffle. Severus sighed a bit before he stepped into the bathroom. As he stood in front of the mirror Severus contemplated the many heavy issues that were affecting him. It was then that he realized how gaunt he looked.

"What does James see in me?" Severus murmured as he took in his sickly pale skin and scarred neck. After a while Severus shook his head leaning on the sink, his knuckles white around the rim. He stayed like this for several minutes before he gave up on tiredness and sleep and went downstairs. As he stepped into the kitchen for a cup of tea he noticed that the plate that he and James had left out was dying in the dish rack. Severus looked at it and felt himself lose a bit of the weight that had rested on his chest. With that he continued making his tea before he went to the living room and lit a small fire before curling up with a book. Sometime in the night he finally fell asleep. That is where James found him in the morning. A few powdery flakes where drifting past the window when James smiled and made him and Severus a cup of tea. He walked over to the sofa and smiled.

"Severus…" he murmured gently. Severus groaned and lifted an arm to shield his face from the grey light of the English morning. "Severus…"

"Yes… I'm awake." He murmured tiredly in response. James sat down at the other end of the couch and handed him his tea.

"Are you ready for the dinner? It's in a few hours." James asked quietly. Severus groaned.

"Do we have to?" he complained sounding like a petulant teenager. James chuckled.

"It would be nice. And I'm sure Molly won't let the children torment you too much." James assured. Severus paled at the thought of the children. James frowned. "What's wrong Severus?" the dark potions master raised a shaky hand to his face and shook his head.

"While I was working for Voldemort this year… I cut off one of the twins' ear…" Severus murmured out. He couldn't bear to look at James' face after admitting that. And it wasn't even his worst crime. After a few second Severus felt James push him to move his hand. He did so, looking up at him and dreading the anger on his lover's face. But James was just sad.

"Did you want to?" James asked. Severus baulked.

"Of course not! I didn't even mean to! I was aiming for Avery's hand!" Severus said with an angry glare. But James just smiled sadly.

"Then I don't blame you. It was an accident… I'm sure he won't blame you either once you explain that." James said. Severus paused a moment before he snorted.

"Knowing the twins he probably enjoys making jokes about it."

"Well you did make him a saint." James commented off hand sipping his tea. Severus frowned heavily.

"How did I make him a saint?"

"Cause now he's holey." James said with a smirk. Severus stared at him deadpanned before he kicked him off the couch. James sat on the floor laughing while Severus called James a seventh level idiot several times over. With that the morning continued as planned. At two the pair left for The Burrow. The dinner was going off fantastically. True to James prediction George held no feelings for what Severus had done. The twins were actually more concern with meeting 'the real live Prongs in the flesh!' then him anyway. Much to Severus's chargin George had made the same joke as James had that morning several times over. All seemed well. Then Harry showed up. And instantly the party took a drastic turn for the worse. Harry was not pleased to see his mother and father at the Burrow going so far as accusing his friend Hermione of plotting the whole thing. He got into a huge fight with Fred and George and left the Burrow in a storm of anger and rage. Severus and James left shortly after that, the mood around the whole place far colder then it was before. The sat at their kitchen table forlornly eating a small meal as silence rang around them hollowly. After a few minutes James threw down his fork and buried his hands in his hair. Severus stared at him for a few seconds before the ex auror's shoulders began to shake jerkily. Severus put his own fork down and moved over to James. He urged the man to stand before embracing him. James clutched onto him as he sobbed into his shoulder. "My own son hates me…" James murmured with so much pain. "I was so happy…I thought… I just wish…" James sobbed before he held Severus close again. Severus let him cry for a few seconds before he held his beloved away from him. He wiped away James' tears and held his face.

"Deep down he loves you." Severus insisted. "Deep down Harry is happy… he lost you all those years ago James… but Harry is scared… he doesn't know how to feel… he needs time… but you can't force it… it'll make him bitter and cold… and we'll lose him forever…" Severus explained with a pained face. James sighed heavily wiped his own face.

"I'll give him all the time and space he needs… I just don't want us to never speak again… I missed everything Severus… his first words… his first steps… I wasn't there to teach him how to fly a broom or send him off to Hogwarts… I hadn't seen his face in sixteen years…" James sobbed. Severus wiped his tears away again and pulled James away from the table.

"Come to bed." He murmured sadly. And so they went. Severus lay there in bed contemplating what they had both lost. And yet he could see that his love had had the worst of it. How could he forget? He saw their son every year, and though there was a pain to know he could never have him he knew that he was his son. James may have lost most of his memories but he had the recollection of his son's death. To lose Harry would be death for Severus. But to lose him all over again as James had. For he truly had. James must have been ecstatic, the son he had been robbed of as Jonathan was given back to him. To have that same son he had gotten back shove him away was visibly eating James on the inside. Severus looked over to James. The man was frowning in his sleep with tear tracks still visible on his face. Severus sighed and embraced James before drifting off to sleep. The next morning James woke with a sigh. Severus was still sleeping beside him. James could see the bags under his eyes and reasoned he'd let Severus sleep. He made his way downstairs and was drinking his morning tea when a Hogwarts barn owl fluttered through the window. One letter was addressed to Severus with a sub stamp from Gringotts James cast it aside and opened the one addressed to him

_Dear James,_

_I would like to request a meeting with you in regards to a possible job position. Once again I have found myself without a defense professor this year as our last two were severely under qualified as well as will be serving three life sentences in Azkaban from now on. Now I am aware of your extensive experience throughout the auror corps even if those blithering idiots won't acknowledge it. So I feel no qualms about offering said position to you. My office is always open on weekdays. Please feel free to stop by anytime this week with a yes or no and perhaps a cup of tea, a biscuit and a welcome back._

_All the best,_

_Minerva_

James chuckled a bit as he read that. "Always knew there was a reason I liked her." James commented with a wry grin. He penned a short note to Severus and picked up is coat. It was almost noon after all. Minerva was bound to be up. It's not as if she would be as busy as Dumbledore apparently was. James frowned as he thought about that. Perhaps he could stop in and see Albus too while he was there, get him to put down whatever book his crooked nose was shoved into this time. James nodded before he put on his jacket and stepped out into the crisp English morning. He descended the front steps and apparated to the gates with a crack. He stood for a second staring up at the castle and smiled before he pulled for the gate. It was locked tight. James frowned before he reasoned the war still had them on edge. "Expecto patronum!" his buck jumped out before dashing off. After a few seconds a wheezing Argus Filch came to the door and sneered.

"Well well well… never thought I'd see your sorry face around here again… McGonagall sent for ya to teach eh? You'll be a bad influence on the lot of em…" filch complained with narrowed untrusting eyes. James just smiled back.

"I'm sure you'll appreciate the exercise." James answered cheekily before he walked forwards leaving a sputtering furious Argus behind him. As he stepped into the castle he was attacked by a massive brown coat.

"James!" Hagrid howled happily as he sobbed massive soggy tears all over him. James squeaked as he felt several bones crack.

"Oh away from him Hagrid before you crush the life out of him!" James heard madam Pomfrey cry. Hagrid quickly dropped James and followed up with much apologizing. Pomfrey was standing next to Flitwick. The pair where smiling at James widely.

"Professors." James said with a dip of his head. Pomfrey shook her head waving her hand.

"You are going to be on the staff dear, it's Poppy and Filius. Besides, I've healed your family so many times I've memories their height, weight, and blood genome. 6'00", roughly 10 stones and AB negative right?" poppy asked causing James to laugh along with Filius and Hagrid. James smiled as he stood there Minerva descended the steppes and saw him.

"James!" Minerva called. James smiled wide and stepped up to embrace her.

"Minerva." James said as she patted his back as best she could despite the height difference. She led James towards the steps. James turned and waved at the other staff before he followed his old head of house up the steps. It was then he noticed "you have a cane." James commented worriedly.

"Oh yes, I've had it for two… no, three years now. I was hit in the chest with five stunners at once the cane is only necessary if I have to move around a lot, which I have as of late, coordinating all the repairs and making sure everything is ready for the students."

"Five stunners at once! What happened?!" James cried out in shock. Minerva frowned.

"Has Harry not told you anything about what happened? His years at Hogwarts?" Minerva questioned. James sighed.

"Harry isn't talking to me… he's… upset." James chose out of the long list of words he'd use to describe Harry these days. Minerva looked worried but shook her head.

"He always did have Severus's stubbornness… but the same willingness to learn and strive as Severus… and the same knack for mischief you had." Minerva finished with an air of deadpan yet indulgence. James chuckled unabashedly as the pair continued on their road. They eventually stopped in Minerva's office. James looked around at the various birds and small rodents and recalled all the night he spent serving detentions in that very room. He smiled before he sat across from McGonagall once more. "I apologies for using this office and not my official one, the gargoyle had to be replaced after the battle so I've been told by William Weasley that I shouldn't activate the password for a few days until the wards settle." This one train of thought left James frowning.

"Minerva… what are you talking about?" James asked in confusion. Minerva paused and stared at him.

"Severus… didn't tell you…" Minerva said in horror. "I was sure…"

"Tell me what?" James demanded in anger and confusion. Miles away Severus was writing a missive to Gringotts explaining that no, his gold was not to be sent to vault 687 but vault 421, the vault shared by himself and James. Vault 687 was his son's account and as his son was of legal age no more money was to be sent to that account. The note that James had written had fluttered off the table and thus had not been seen by Severus as he perused the morning post. Severus was just about to add one final, cutting, insult at the end of his letter when the door banged open. Instantly he was on his feet, wand pointed at the door, ready to attack. There stood James. He looked furious.

"Are you going to kill me too?! Kill me like you killed him!" James demanded angrily. Severus was so shocked he dropped his wand in horror. He took a step back and clutched the desk chair as all the blood drained from his face.

"James… please." Severus begged as a tear slipped down his face. James advanced, poison dripping from his face.

"I bet he begged! He begged you didn't he!" severus let his eyes flutter close. "he did! And you killed him anyway! How could you!"

"James… I… you don't understand… I… please…" Severus tried again. But James was too upset, too angry.

"I trusted you! I believed you when you told me you changed!" James snarled. Severus looked into James eyes and saw so much hate, so much pain, that he couldn't bare it. His lover had turned into a monster. James opened up his mouth to say something when a silent spell slammed into his back and he crumpled to the floor. Luna Lovegood was standing in the doorway. Her wand was in her hand and she was looking down at James sadly. Harry was standing beside her with his own wand at the ready but he didn't look angry. He looked afraid. Severus slowly walked over to Harry and embraced him while Luna stepped towards the stunned James and levitated him of the floor. She brought it over to the stairs and motioned for the pair to step aside before he levitated him up the stairs. Harry and Severus stood there for a few minutes just holding one another when Luna returned from up stairs.

"I put him in his bed… Harry… are you two okay to stay here? You can come home with me if you like… professor I'm not sure where you could sleep but I'm sure my father and I could figure something out…" Luna offered with a sad expression. Harry looked at his mother then upstairs and thought for a few seconds before he shook his head.

"We'll… we'll be okay." Harry shakily said. Severus nodded. Luna looked between the two before she nodded and left the house. Severus turned to Harry and nudged his head in her direction.

"How did she get here?"

"Galleons… only Neville and her still use them aside from Ron and Hermione… Hermione modified the spell so that it could work over long distances and can be directed at a single person. Just whisper the person's name and say help and they'll feel it heat up…" Harry said pulling on a chain on his neck revealing the galleon. Severus nodded after a few seconds he turned and went into the kitchen. He came back out with two tumblers and a bottle of scotch. He sat on the couch and placed the effects in front of him on the coffee table. He tipped the bottle and filled up the tumbler nearly ¾ full. Harry frowned. Severus looked at his face and snorted derisively.

"In most cases I don't encourage drinking to numb ones problems… but, and I don't know about you, I want to get… what does your generation say these days? Oh yes… totally sloshed." Severus finished grimly with a choked sob before he downed the whole tumbler in one gulp and went back for more. Harry looked for a moment before he sat beside his mother and held up the other tumbler. Severus nodded and poured his son an equal measure to his own. The pair drifted off late in the night thoroughly 'sloshed' Severus woke up first wrapped in a blanket on the couch while Harry was lying on the chair with a blanket draped over him. The pounding headache only served to remind him of why he'd gotten drunk in the first place though so it really didn't help much in the end. Harry on the other hand was still blissfully sleeping. Severus hoped for his son's sake that he remained so for a few more hours. He stumbled groggily over to the potions cabinet in the kitchen where he downed a hangover potion. It numbed the pain enough for Severus to think clearly. As he made his way back over to the couch he thought about how it seemed to be a pattern every time he lost James to drown himself in alcohol and pass out. Severus sighed heavily before burying his hands into his hair. He tried to keep them at bay but the tears he had drunk away the night before could not be held back anymore and Severus sobbed as he thought about how much he had lost in life. How close he had been to getting it all back. Severus was hunched over shaking with sobs as he gasped for breath. It was in this pose that Harry woke up to. He stared for a few seconds before he downed the hangover potion and stood up furiously.

"That's it! I'm gonna teach that son of a bitch a lesson!" Harry shouted before he stomped up the stairs. Severus stared after him horrified. Harry threw his parent's bedroom door open and stepped in. but James wasn't there. Harry stood for a few seconds before he left the room angrier then when he entered. Severus was waiting at the bottom of the stairs.

"Harry! Don't! please!" Severus begged as he saw Harry getting ready to leave. Harry looked at him

"He's gone! He doesn't get to just leave and pretend this never happened! I'm gonna find him and make sure he never forgets!" Harry shouted angrily before stomped out of the house and slammed the front door behind him. Severus shakily sat on the second step and rested his elbows on his knees, threading his hands into his hair again. Meanwhile Harry was at the Leaky Cauldron asking if anyone had seen James. When none had he stomped out and moved on to the three broomsticks. There he had more luck. One drunk said they saw him stumble into the Hog's Head around four in the morning. Harry nodded before he flew out of the bar and onto the Hog's Head. He threw the door open and stepped in. but as he stood there watching as his father leaned over a drink he felt his angry fire leave him and was instead left cold inside. He walked over to James and stared at him."… hey." James jerked and looked at him. Across the bar Abeforth gave Harry a stern look before he left, disappearing further into the inn.

"What are you doing here Harry?" James murmured weakly.

"Who said you could just leave? You have to go home… and… and apologize." Harry insisted with a false anger. James jerkily shook his head.

"No… no your mum never wants to see me again… It'd be better if I just left… I'll go back to America… be Jonathan again… you'll never have to see me again…" James insisted as he tried to stand and push past Harry. Harry shoved him against the bar and stared at him bitterly. James stared back before he sighed and let his eyes drift close. "This is the part where you beat me to a pulp and walk out." Harry stared at him in confusion.

"What?"

"I did the same thing to Tobias… and you didn't know him Harry but… oh gods I was just like him…" James said raising a hand to his face as a few tears streamed down his cheeks. "He killed your grandmother… if I can be like that… who's to say I couldn't kill Severus." James sobbed. Harry stood there for a few seconds before he shook his head. He grabbed James coat lapels and shook him.

"What kind of idiot are you! Do you love mum?" Harry demanded. James swallowed but nodded. "Yeah! You do! So why the fuck would you kill him! You two love each other!" James just stared at him sadly. "Yeah! You know what! I did come in here to beat you up! Then I was gonna make you leave and never come back but you know what… maybe I'm as stupid as you are… I just want mum to be happy after all…" Harry's voice started to break as he loosened his grip on his father's coat a bit. "He's crying… at home he hasn't stopped crying… he… you have to come home…" Harry sobbed as he leaned on his father's chest."Please come home… don't leave us…" Harry begged. James wrapped his arms around Harry and embraced him as the pair cried into each other's clothes. James held Harry at arm's length and surveyed him.

"I'm so sorry Harry… I…" James began.

"Don't finish that sentence boy." Abeforth called from behind the bar. The pair looked over to him. He was cleaning with the filthy rag again. "you were grieving… everyone handles grief different… while I might not have liked my brother I know that a lot of people looked up to him… just know that Severus was hurt just as bad by this as you where… perhaps worse he was the one who fired the curse after all…" James nodded heavily.

"If it helps I tried to kill mum after it happened." Harry offered. That just made James look at him in horror.

"What?! Harry!" James scolded. Harry frowned.

"Hey! Don't go pointing fingers!" Harry shouted back. The pair where still arguing when they stepped out of the bar. Abeforth was staring after them in shock shaking his head.

"Those two are going to kill each other before they ever sort out their differences." He commented in annoyance before he went back to cleaning. Some Christmas this was turning out to be for the Potters. Damn Minerva for not knowing when to keep her bloody mouth shut and leave well enough alone. "Damn you Albus for making that poor boy into your bloody scapegoat. And damn you for not stopping Helvetica when you could have. Could have saved us all the bloody drama when they spilt the first time! Like one of those bloody muggle clean plays or whatever their called." He grumbled. He paused for a moment as he thought back to how Harry had looked. Eight months ago the boy had looked pale and tired. Now he looked positively sickly with noticeable bags under his eyes and practically malnourished features. "You're killing yourself with your stubbornness potter." Abeforth muttered to himself again as he puttered about the bar. He paused before thought back to all those friends of his. Who could he pen about helping him again… he knew he was dating one of those girls according to the paper… wait… paper. Yes that's right it was the Quibbler editor Xeno Lovegood's daughter, Lula or something. Determined to help the Potter family any way he could after his brother had screwed them over so royally Abeforth put down his rag and went about finding a quill and some parchment so he could pen a note to Potter's girl and see if she could help him in some way. It would be later that night that Luna received her note from Abeforth. She read slowly before she put it down with a heavy sigh. She worriedly stared out into the fields around her house from her bedroom window and thought of her beloved Harry and the pain he was going through. After a while she tried to go to sleep but her worried for Harry kept her awake for hours. She thought about the coming year. Hogwarts was where everything would return to a semblance of normal for Harry. Luna thought for a bit before she nodded. She would be able to help him best at Hogwarts, where he was surrounded by friends and family. With a definite plan in her head Luna turned to her side and drifted off to an easier though still uneasy sleep.

* * *

A/N: a moment of Abeforth to break up the boring dynamic that is the three Potters. A bit of Luna foreshadowing at the end. Poor Luna. She cares about Harry so much, she does see how badly Harry is doing but she doesn't know how to help.

to dispell confusion Abeforth's 'Clean Plays' is a 'Soap Opera'.

he doesn't get muggle culture.

Now some of you might think that James reaction to finding out about Albus is a bit much but this is really quite mild I feel. James was one of Dumbledore's favorites. James looked up to Dumbledore like a grandfather. But it's not so much that Severus killed him that is making James upset as it is that he found out from someone else. That subterfuge makes Severus seem guilty. Of course we know that yes he does feel guilty but to James' grief riddled mind it is not the guilt of one seeking repentance but the guilt of someone who had gladly committed the crime.

Books… maybe you can explain better

Severus didn't tell James because he thought he was protecting James from grief (and out of fear of judgment/anger). James saw Severus not telling him as him as a way to hide his lack of regret/guilt about killing Dumbledore. His death is a very morally hard to understand for anyone but it was especially hard for James since he didn't find out from Severus who would have explained the reasons why it had to happen.

Thank you Books… eloquent as always.

*Whispers* isn't she awesome!

I don't know why I couldn't write that...

Maybe cause I hate psychology...

Hijoshikina Kitsune nokage: Hi… yeah I know it's been a while. I'm really sorry for the late update but writers block season started really early this year… expect more soon. I have a defined plan with where things are going to go from here. Also, as you can see things are not going well… sorry about that.

PifyEQ: This chapter actually touches on one of the reasons why Severus is going back to Hogwarts but it will be explained more next chapter. Severus killed Dumbledore. A lot of people aren't okay with that. Certainly he could open an anonymous potions service or use a false name but that runs the risk of being accused of subterfuge should his identity be found out. Truth be told I always felt that Severus didn't dislike teaching, he disliked teaching students that didn't want to be there. The first through fifth years aren't there because they want to be, they're there because they HAVE to be. But sixth and seventh years have chosen potions as a means of getting a specific career. They WANT to be there, they WANT to work to get a good grade. You'll see what I have planned but I assure you Severus is not nearly as bitter as he was before.

Dreamyeyes14, lady necromancer: I hope you guys are still here… I'm sorry for the wait…

-TheTransfiguredCanary and Books


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A/N: So…

It comes to this.

The {second} last chapter…

It's been a long road.

Have an extra long one for the long wait

I hope you enjoy

Onwards…

* * *

The house was relatively quiet except for one room. There the air was filled with panting and a few drawn out gasps and sighs. The pair in the bed was oblivious to the world. The door slowly opened. A young man was standing in the door looking at a list.

"Mum have you seen my- BLOODY HELL!" he shouted having looked up from his list halfway through the sentence. The shout was followed with a crash and thud.

"Get Out!" one voice called out from the floor. The door slammed after that. James Potter looked up from the other side of the bed. Severus sat in the bed with the covers held to his chest with one hand while he leaned over the bed to look at James.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah… I think I broke something." James groaned. Severus looked at the shards of the vase on the floor.

"That was an authentic Chinese vase James! That was a gift from a friend at a potions convention!"

"I meant my back." James groaned out. With a wave of his retrieved wand the vase was whole again and he was wrapped in a dressing gown. He sat of the bed with a sigh before he rubbed his face. Then he burst out laughing. "We just traumatized our son!"

"Yes… it's quite interesting that we still can at this stage." Severus commented with a snort of his own. After finding his clothes James finally exited the room and made his way downstairs. Harry was previewing his Hogwarts shopping list sipping a morning tea. When he looked up and saw his father he choked on his tea and began to sputter and cough. James reached out to help but Harry waved him away.

"I'm good!" he said roughly through the coughs. When they finally cleared James saw just how beet red his son was. He snorted and went about making himself and Severus a cup of tea. "I need to go to Diagon Alley. I need books. And a new cauldron… and a new potion-making kit… and… pretty much everything I need for school… I'm pretty sure the Dursley's burned everything." Harry commented before biting into a piece of jammed toast. James just nodded before sitting at the table and sipping his tea thoughtfully.

"I think your mum needs to restock the potions cupboard so I suppose we'll have to go soon. Hogwarts is in four days after all… gods I'm gonna be teaching in four days… I completely forgot."

"Please tell me you have at least some of your lessons planned James." Severus called as he entered the kitchen. James smirked.

"Don't worry. I know exactly what I'm going to do for the seventh years." James commented. Harry looked at him with wide eyes.

"What is it?" Harry asked hopefully. James smirked.

"You'll find out with the rest of your year mates." He said much to Harry's annoyance. After their breakfast the family made their way to Diagon Alley. As it opened up James sighed.

"A family trip to Diagon alley…. Another first." James commented before they went on to shopping. James helped Harry carry all his quills and parchment until they finally stopped in Flourish and Blotts where he bought a book bag. Severus carried his cauldron while he read over his order form receipt just to double check. For lunch the family stopped at Fortescue. After that they went on to madam Malkin's. There James and Harry were both fitted. Severus insisted that James get two sets of teaching robes and Harry get two sets of Hogwarts robes. Then the family moved on to their final destination.

"I really need new equipment! I'm gonna be training a new seeker this year." Harry cried as he rushed ahead into the store and began to peruse the arm gear. James stopped and frowned turning to Severus.

"Wait… is Harry on the Gryffindor Quidditch team?" James asked

"He's captain and seeker." Severus commented with a smile. James's mouth dropped open.

"No way… that's… that's actually a bit creepy." James commented.

"Why? Because you two are identical? He looks exactly like you James! He even has your eyes." Severus said with a chuckle. James just shook his head with a slight chuckle. He and Severus sat back as Harry discussed with the shopkeeper benefits of one guard to the other and how the way the leather had been treated would affect play. Eventually he moved onto robes, recalling his measurements from Malkin's. Finally Harry moved over to the brooms where a pained expression graced his face. James stood as he saw Harry visibly grow tense as he glanced at all the brooms.

"What's wrong?" James asked in concern. Harry sighed.

"Well it's just… every broom I've ever gotten was a gift… and yet…" Harry ended his sentence with a sigh and glanced about. James looked around before he smiled and motioned to the shopkeeper.

"Yes sir, how can I help you?"

"What's the best broom you have?" the shopkeeper raised an eyebrow but pointed to the broom at the top of the rack. Its handle was a pale polished pole of birch wood with a shock of black twigs at the back that where all jutting out in a stylized manor that looked a bit like forked lighting.

"That's the latest broom by the bolt brother's. The Thunderbolt 3000. It's the fast broom in the world to date. It can go from 0 to 600 miles per hour in about ten seconds. It broke the sound barrier in a recent race in Norway. Viktor Krum of the Bulgarian team just bought one." The shopkeeper said. Harry was drooling by the end of the description. James looked at him and then the broom then back to the shop keeper with a smirk.

"How much?" James asked. The shopkeeper blinked before he burst into laughter.

"You think you could afford that! Who the hell are you?"

"James Harold Emerson Potter the fourth." James said with a smile. The shopkeeper stopped laughing and stared at him in shock. "I'm quite wealthy, I assure you I can afford the broom."

"It's 300,000 galleons…" the shopkeeper mumbled quietly. James smiled.

"Well then, a Gringotts deposit please. From vault 5781." James said with a smile. The shopkeeper quickly walked over before he shakily handed the form to James. After a few signatures and numbers James handed it back. The shopkeeper quickly ran it through the till before he walked over with a step ladder and pulled down the broom.

"Here you are sir." He said shakily handing it to James. James took it with a smile before he turned and presented it to Harry. Harry was staring at him with a wide mouth and eyes. After a few seconds he shakily took the broom stick.

"Happy sixteen birthdays and fourteen Christmases." James said with a slightly sad smile. Harry started laughing like a mad man and hugged James with one arm while he held onto the broom. He let go and looked at the broom proper.

"This is… I can feel it humming in my hands… oh man… oh I'm gonna smoke Slytherin this year! They're toast!" Harry cried with a nigh evil smile. When Severus came around the corner and saw the broom he gave James a withering look.

"Really… I didn't need to face anymore bragging from Minerva this year…" Severus commented with deadpan. Harry just laughed. Placing the bristles of the broom over his shoulder the trio stepped out of the shop and made their way back to the leaky cauldron. Harry got lots of looks as he walked by. Some from his identity, some for the very impressive broom on his shoulder. As they approached Eeyelop's Owl Emporium Harry stopped in his track and paled. Severus looked where his son was looking and his shoulders fell. There on one of the stands in front of the store was a snowy owl. After a few seconds Harry stepped forwards and brushed the owl's feather. The bird stared at him but didn't appear to connect the same way Hedwig had all those years ago. Harry sighed heavily. Suddenly a screech came from within the store and out of the store flew another snowy owl. Or so it appeared. Witches and wizards all around ducked as this bird flew around screeching, dropping white feather everywhere as the shopkeeper tried to catch it.

"Come here you bloody pigeon!" he cried as he chased the bird with a common broom. Finally the bird swooped down until it landed on the post the snowy had been on. The snowy and flown to another stand that is was sharing with a very disgruntled eagle owl. Harry could see the bird had the face and form of a barn owl but the coloring of a snowy. One of its eyes was the same color as a snowy too. The other owls were all very disgusted with this strange bird. He made a few squeaky screeching noises but they all turned away from him. Harry brushed the bird's feathers and it turned and stared at him. After a few more pets Harry turned to the huffing shopkeeper.

"I'll take him." Harry insisted. The man stared at him then blinked.

"Hey… you're the one who bought his sire!" he cried. Harry blinked and looked at the mismatched owl in shock.

"Hedwig is his mum?"

"Yeah, he had just learned to fly. He's about 9 years old. His mother was a right piece of work. I was glad to be rid of her… if you're willing to take him off my hands…" Harry nodded vigorously. With that the shopkeeper stepped into the shop and came out with a cage. Harry took it in his hand and instead offered his arm to the strange owl. Severus came forward and took the cage from his son.

"Hedwig was his mum." Harry murmured softly. Severus nodded in understanding before Harry joined James. James took one look at the bird and snorted.

"Welcome to the family. Don't worry, you'll fit right in." James commented. Harry threw James a dirty look from ridiculing the bird. Suddenly Harry realized the bird didn't have a name yet. With a nudge the owl climbed up Harry's arm onto his shoulder and Harry dug into his book bag and pulled out history of magic. He ruffled the pages before he stopped and survey the page.

"Hello Hengist." Harry said looking up at the owl. The owl surveyed him for a second before he screeched a bit and began preening his hair.

"Founder of Hogsmeade. Interesting choice." Severus commented. Harry frowned before he looked down at the book and read the description of the man he had named his owl after.

"Huh." He commented after a few seconds. He looked up at the bird. "You're lucky. That's a pretty good name… I wonder what Hedwig did." Harry thought as he riffled through the book more. James snorted.

"Wait… you named your first owl by picking a random name in your history of magic textbook?" James asked. Harry nodded while he searched for Hedwig in the textbook. Severus snorted.

"Binns wouldn't appreciate that."

"Gods Binns still teaches at Hogwarts? Binns? He's a bloody senile ghost!" James cried. Severus rolled his eyes and led the family towards the cauldron. Before they stepped in Harry turned towards the alley and nudged his shoulder for Hengist.

"Meet ya at home, don't let the muggles see you." with that Hengist took a few steps before he swept his wings out to the side and leapt from Harry's shoulder before soaring into the air. Harry watched as Hengist rose into the air and glided over the buildings magnificently. With that James, Severus and Harry stepped into the leaky cauldron for dinner. After that the family went home. Harry packed his things into a trunk that James gave him. He sat on his bed staring at his things before he nodded and closed the lid. He curled up into his bed and tossed his glasses off to the side. Later that night Harry woke to a tapping he remembered. He opened the window and Hengist fluttered in. Harry petted the owl's feathers with a smile before he settled back down into his bed. The next three days were a blur for Harry. Much of it was spent packing as he watched his father rushed to gain his wits and plan his lessons while his mother berated James for waiting so long. All too soon Harry was sitting on the Day Bus with his parent. James was holding Harry's travel case with a smile. Severus was standing next to Harry steadying him as they whipped around turns and burst past country side and through city. Finally they lurched to a halt.

"Be seeing you Mr. Potters, Harry Potter sir!" Stan Shunpike called with a wide smile as the bus raced off. Harry stood for a second before he felt a guiding hand on his shoulder. The family walked down the platform the leaves skittered about, brought down by a cold snap amongst the city. As Harry slid into the platform with his mother and father at his side he was struck with a sense of melancholy. As he stood there he was suddenly encompassed in a string hug.

"Hey… I know we weren't there… all those years… and today isn't enough… but…" James trailed off as Harry returned his hug with a sniff. James held his sons shoulders and looked at him before he smirked. "Make me proud…. try to get into detention at least once a week."

"JAMES!" Severus snarled angrily. Harry laughed.

"Don't worry. I'm sure I'll get into some kind of trouble… but I promise mum it won't be on purpose." Harry assured his fuming mother. Severus looked at him with a frown and shook his head

"Given your track record I see no reason why you can't, considering you once earned a detention before you even get to the castle."

"Wow you got a detention and you weren't even on the school grounds?! Yeesh and I thought I was a troublemaker!" James said as he smiled and ruffled Harry's hair roughly.

"Ack! Dad cut it out! If you do that it'll never go flat!" Harry cried as he patted his head and tried to smooth his hair out. Severus shot James a slight admonishing glare which James responded with a smirk. Across the platform a voice cried out.

"Harry!" Hermione cried before she ran and all but tackled him. James laughed as he watched his son get mauled by the red haired man and bushy haired woman he called his best friends. Harry looked at his parents before he gave each of them a hug and turned to the train. They slowly entered and turned for the first empty compartment. They glance out the window and saw Severus and James talking with Molly Weasley.

"Harry… you have a new owl?" Ron asked delicately as he noticed the strange owl in the cage. Harry lifted Hengist up in his cage and smiled.

"His name is Hengist." Harry said. The owl inside looked around with his wide miss matched eyes

"Founder of Hogsmeade." Hermione said automatically. Ron and Harry rolled their eyes. Hermione really hadn't changed still flaunting her knowledge

"Yeah I know." Harry said waiting for Hermione to dive into a lecture about who Hengist was and what he'd done besides founding Hogsmeade.

"Did you finally read Hogwarts: a history?!" Hermione asked with wide glittering eyes. The pair rolled their eyes.

"No Hermione. I found the name in my History of Magic text book like I did for Hedwig. Hengist lucked out." Harry said as he opened the cage and let Hengist step out before he put the cage up on the over head rack.

"Careful mate, keep naming your pets like that and you might name one after a dark wizard or something." Ron said withal smirk. Harry paused and realized that Ron was quite right.

"Wow… I hadn't thought about that… I'll definitely ask Hermione what the guy did before I give another pets I get random names from my text book." Harry commented with a chuckle. Ron snickered. Hermione as not as amused.

"You could always look it up yourself Harry Potter." Hermione growled. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Why would I do that? You already know everything. Why bother going to the library for hours when I have a portable version of it sitting right beside me, add onto that I don't have to run a catalog. You do the process automatically." Harry said. Hermione blushed bright red and punched Harry in the arm. With that the train began to move with a screech. Harry quickly opened the window and leaned out with a wave. "bye!" James as running with the train.

"See ya in a few hours!" he called as he slowed to a stop. He lifted his arm and watched as the train slowly turned the corner with a smile. Harry went back into the compartment as his father slipped out of sight. He put a thumb to the corner of his eye. Ron and Hermione intelligently said nothing. With that Ron got into a conversation with Hermione about new professors when the door opened.

"Harry!" Neville cried with a wide smile. Harry looked up at Neville and smiled. Getting up to hug him Harry was shocked when Neville's face fell and a fist banging into his chin. "That's for lying to me you jerk! My god I've never been so pissed and sacred! Fake your death again and I might just finish the job got it you annoying selfless idiot?" Neville shouted with a harsh face. Harry laughed and gave Neville a hug.

"Thanks for always having my back mate." Harry said. Neville snorted and thumped his back.

"Always." Neville said before he sat across from Harry and Ron continued the conversation. Hermione was watching the exchange in disbelief and finally shook her head in confusion.

"Boys." she muttered under her breath. Twenty minutes later Luna walked in. Harry asked Ron to move over. Ron made a show of being all annoyed but it was half hearted as he scooted over and Luna sat beside Harry. She took his hand and smiled at him before she leaned back and listened to Neville and Ron speculates who the new professors would be. About half an hour later Ginny burst in with Dean.

"Harry there's... "She trailed off awkwardly as he looked from Luna and Harry's linked hands to Luna to Harry and down again."Oh…" she finished lamely.

"Knitting folks." Ron said quietly. Hermione actually picked up a project she was working on and began knit. Ginny stood there beside Dean and shuffled her feet.

"So…" she started but she wasn't sure how to continue.

"Yeah…" Harry responded. The silence grew thicker and thicker until finally Hermione could stand it no longer and put down her knitting in a huff.

"Harry saw you kissing Dean at the battle. He honestly doesn't care and is happy for you." she said. Harry blushed and scratched his head looking away awkwardly. Ginny just looked relieved.

"Oh… good! I thought maybe you were only dating Luna to get back at me… you two are actually kinda cute you know." Ginny said with a wink. Luna actually blushed shocking several people in the compartment. With that Neville let the pair sit beside him. Later, as darkness started to creep into the sky, the door was opened a fourth and final time and into the compartment of Gryffindor and one Ravenclaw stepped Draco Malfoy.

"Cousin!" he said with a smile. Harry smiled and stood to give Draco a hug but Ron was already on his feet. Harry held his breath, hoping he wouldn't have to intervene when Ron shocked him. The red head stuck a hand out and offered a shake. Draco stared at him in shock but accepted the hand. Ron clutched at their clasped hands with his other one.

"Ron, Ron Weasley. Pleasure to met you." he said politely as if this was the first time they were meeting. Draco recognized it for what it was a proposal for a fresh start, for them to begin again and he smiled.

"Draco Malfoy, but just Draco is fine." the blond responded. Harry marveled and dean offered the seat beside him. Soon everyone in the compartment was shaking hands with the blond who seemed just as amazed as Harry with the bewildered smiles were anything to go by. Soon the train was slowing to a halt and the eight of them were stepping off the train and into a carriage. Hermione was staring at the thestrals with a haunted look but Harry put a hand on her shoulder and nodded. She nodded in return and together the group rode up to the castle. Harry glanced up to the starry sky and smiled. Soon they were filling into the great hall. Harry looked around and found himself slipping back into it. The feel of Hogwarts was all around him. She was still strong. She had faced war and she had held through it. It brought a beaming smile to his face. The smile widened when he glanced up at the head table. Professor McGonagall caught his eye from the headmistress chair and smiled fondly. James gave him two thumbs up. Harry smiled before he and his friends sat at the table. Then he frowned.

"Huh? Where's mum?" he asked. Hermione frowned and Ron just shrugged. Hagrid tried and failed to slide into his seat unnoticed. Harry waved to him and Hagrid waved back before he motioned to his mother's empty seat and winked. Harry frowned but then he doors opened and his eyebrows shot up. Severus was leading the eleven year olds up the great halls, demanding attention.

"Harry! Your mother is deputy headmaster!" Hermione whispered in shock. Harry nodded. He couldn't quite meet his mother's eyes from his position as he passed. He watched as Severus motioned for the children to stop at the steps. Then everyone in the hall waited and watched. Finally the hat stirred and began its song

_Hail the castle strong and bold!_

_Who still stands on stones of old!_

_Through fire and war fighting did run!_

_Until smoke cleared and battle was won!_

_Praise the mighty Gryffindor,_

_Who fought with strength and will!_

_Those brave heroes showed no fear,_

_And stand firm still!_

_Hark to the grand Hufflepuffs,_

_Who worked hardest of all!_

_Those loyal friends of truest heart,_

_Refused to watch this castle fall!_

_Rejoice those heroic Ravenclaws,_

_Who battled with their thoughts!_

_Through genius wit and clever acts,_

_They tied the enemy in knots._

_But let us not forget the willing Slytherins,_

_Who are oft forgot,_

_Though many were our enemies,_

_There were those brave few who fought;_

_Do not scorn their cunning,_

_For they can be more than that._

_Ambition is not a sin,_

_Take it from this hat._

_So it comes to the time,_

_To put you where you belong,_

_But remember that all houses are worthy (never forget),_

_And I am rarely wrong!_

The hall exploded in applause and Harry had a chance to flash his mother a smile as the hat bowed to each house before going still once more. With that Severus lifted his scroll and cleared his throat.

"Atbash, Alexander" the slightly scrawny child warily went up t hat and sat on the stool as Severus lowered the hat over his eyes.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat cried and Ravenclaw applauded as it accepted its newest member. On and on the named went. Aaron Pendilton was the first Gryffindor. A particular little blond became Slytherin. A set of twins were both sent to Hufflepuff which spark much squealing. On and on the list when until finally Tabitha Xander was sorted into Hufflepuff and Severus rolled up the scroll and went for his seat. With that McGonagall stood.

"Welcome, welcome one and all to another, though late starting, year at Hogwarts. I do hope you all enjoyed your holiday. To our new students welcome, to our returning students, welcome back. As you can see Hogwarts has been restored to her former glory," McGonagall paused as a cheer rose from the students. "Yes yes, now. As many of you are aware several of our staff the previous year was severely under qualified,"

"HELL YA! JUST LOOK AT LONGBOTTOM'S FACE!" Seamus Finnigan cried out with much laughter echoing around.

"Yes thank you Mr. Finnigan." McGonagall said with a warning glance at the Irish boy. "As I was saying I am pleased to announce several new and returning staff members. Taking up the newly cleared transfigurations post, Professor Augusta Merrilots" everyone politely applauded as the thin auburn haired woman stood. She settled back into her chair as the applause died. "Filling the muggle studies position, Professor Richard Xander" the tall man stood and the Hufflepuff who was his daughter stood and whistled while everyone else clapped politely. He sat down and McGonagall sent an indulging glance at the young girl before she cleared her throat and continued. "Taking up the defense against the dark arts position, which has been reinstated, is James Harold Potter the forth." James stood and there was a roar of applause and shouts, particularly from Gryffindor. McGonagall waited with a slight smile before James settled back down and the applause slowly ceased. "In other news professor Horace Slughorn has decided once again to retire, stating something about dropping off the face of the Earth should I ever ask again," there was a wave of laughter. "I am pleased to announce that the position of potions professor will once again be held by our resident potions master Severus Snape." the applause was deafening. People from every house rose to their feet and cheered as Severus stood dumb founded. Everyone in Slytherin house was cheering and whistling. The hall echoed with it and Severus felt himself at a loss for words and almost choked up for the first time in years. He slowly sat back down and McGonagall had to fire off sparks to get people to quiet down. "And now, without further ado, let the feast begin!" she finished. Food magically appeared in front of the students and teachers and everyone began to tuck into their meal. as Harry sat it seemed like every member of the Gryffindor house as well as several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws rose to shake his hand or make some comment. In the end Dean and Seamus had to clear the crowd and acted as pseudo body guards the rest of the night.

"Thanks guys." Harry muttered to Seamus.

"Anytime Potter." Seamus said before he took another sip of his pumpkin juice and glared away another Ravenclaw. Finally the pudding arrived and Luna walked over. She sat beside Harry and reached for the tall platter with a smile. Harry tucked into his treacle when suddenly the tray in front of him was replaced by a stack of books. Harry dropped his fork and looked behind it in shock. Ron was looking at Hermione with a wide horrified face as the woman stuck a quill behind her ear and read two books at once.

"Hermione… what are you doing…" Harry asked, almost afraid to hear the response.

"N.E.W.T.S. are in six months, I'm studying, honestly I wish I'd asked for the timetable months ago. I got it last week but I'm still worried that I'm severally behind." Hermione responded as she began taking notes rapidly with another quill. Ron propped his elbows on the table and dropped his head into his hands with a groan. Harry snorted and stared laughing.

"That's Granger for you. Taking the world by storm. Good luck Ron." Seamus said. Ron just groaned again. Luna chuckled alongside everyone else. Finally the puddings disappeared and Hermione stowed her books away again as McGonagall stood.

"There are a few mandatory messages to give. First years note, the forbidden forest is just that, forbidden… older students would do to set an example… as should professors." McGonagall said flashing a glare as James who had the decency to look sheepish. "our caretaker Mr. Filch would once again like to remind you that dueling in the hallways is strictly forbidden… he would also like to me to remind you that the full list of banned object is located on his office door, but since I have never once heard of a student going down there to read it I find this reminder pointless and tedious." there was laugh throughout the hall and Filch looked decidedly cross with McGonagall, who didn't look as if she cared. "Well then, time for bed. Off you go." with that the students stood and went for their common rooms. Harry, Hermione and Ron laughed as they walked through the halls.

"Hello dears. Welcome back." The Fat Lady said with a wide smile. Harry nodded with a smile.

"Thank you. Victorious."

"Quite right!" she said as she swung open. As the trio stepped through they were greeted with the deafening sound of echoing applause. All of Gryffindor house was standing in the common room, cheering for 'the heroes of Hogwarts' Harry smiled as Neville gave him a hug and passed him a firewhiskey. Hermione seems a bit put out but Neville assures that the minors won't have a drop. And so they spend the night in a jovial setting, rejoicing their return, and as Harry settles down into bed with his friends around Harry felt once again like he was home. The next day Ron choked on his cereal as he looked over the time table.

"Oh come on! Every time!" he screamed. Harry looked at it and snorted.

Monday

Potions, potions, defense, charms

Tuesday

Transfiguration, defense, spare, herbology

Wednesday

Herbology, spare, charms, transfiguration

Thursday

Potions, defense, transfiguration, spare

Friday

Herbology, charms, potions, charms

"Hey, at least we have a spare every day but Monday and Friday." Harry offered. Hermione made a face.

"Those spares are to study! How many times do I have to repeat that?!" Hermione cried. Ron shook his head.

"I know I know…" he heaved a sigh. "Alright, let's get to double potions with Slytherins… I still think your mum's a git Harry. He does it on purpose." Harry shook his head.

"The board sets the timetables Ron. It's not actually mum's decision, he complains about teaching us both at the same time actually…" Harry said. Ron shot him a shocked look.

"Really?" Ron asked. As the trio turned a corner then ran into an obviously frazzled Draco Malfoy. He was carrying piles of rolls of parchment.

"Oh hey." he said as Hermione handed him a few fallen scrolls.

"What are all of these?" Ron asked as he passed the blond more. Draco sighed.

"I took up an apprenticeship. I'm training to be a potions master. Professor Snape gave me control of the four younger year classes. It's a lot more work then I figured. I'm late for ancient runes. Luckily, that and Arithmacy are my only classes. I'll see ya around." Draco said as he dashed off. The trio watched him go.

"Huh…. an apprenticeship." Ron murmured quietly. "Maybe I can do that after my N.E.W.T.S…" Hermione smiled at him.

"That is very forward thinking of you Ron." Hermione said. Ron blushed and smiled and Harry rolled his eyes and pretended to gagged.

"Come on, stop giving each other cow eyes and come back to earth. We better get going, I don't want to be late." with that the trio continued on their way. They stepped into the crowded classroom. The tables were set up in fours, which was new. Neville waved them over and the trio smiled.

"Neville! What are you doing here?"

"It's part of my apprenticeship." he said. Harry stared.

"What, is everyone taking an apprenticeship? Who are you mentoring under?" Harry asked.

"Professor Sprout. She was hoping to retire next year. I'm going to take her position if I get good enough grades." Neville said with a smile.

"What are your classes?" Hermione asked.

"I'm handling the classes for the first three years. I'm in her seventh year class as a teaching assistant; I'm taking potions and charms." Neville explained. Harry opened his mouth to say something else when the door opened. Everyone quickly sat in their seats as professor Snape swept t the front of the room.

"Welcome back. Before we begin I wish to clear up some probable questions now before they distract you in what is to be I'm certain the most challenging potions year of your lives. Harry Potter is my son." the confirmation seemed to run over the students with mixed reactions. Some Gryffindors where shocked, others seemed to expect this to change things for the better. Most of the Slytherins reflected bitter acceptance as if many had figured as such but prayed they were wrong. "The death of the Dark Lord allows me a great deal of relief. As I'm sure you notice several Slytherin with… startling good marks," he let that comment sink in. the Gryffindor snickered a bit as the Slytherins faces dripped in dread. "Are absent. Let that be a testament to show I will no longer be exhibiting obvious favoritism." he turned to Harry with a stern look. "That applies to you as well." he said with a touch of warning. Harry nodded with a firm look. He could accept that. He was willing to work to get where he wanted to be. Severus seemed proud of his son's determination. "I wish you all luck. Should your marks fall below acceptable you will be removed from my class." Severus said quickly before he turned around. Ron gulped but put on a determined face. As he raised his wand to write instruction on the board there was a rustle beside them and the class went deadly quiet. Severus slowly turned around and stared. Neville was staring at him with a strong face with his hand proudly in the air. Severus stared at him for a few seconds.

"Mr. Longbottom?" Severus allowed. Neville put his hand down and stood, he face set.

"Can I speak freely professor?" Neville asked. Severus stared at him but nodded. Neville took a deep breath.

"I would like to say thank you sir. Thank you for defending us. Last year was hell. But it could have been a lot worse. I don't think they give you enough credit for how much you helped us. To me, and I'm sure everyone here will agree, you are the bravest, smartest, most cunning, most loyal man I've ever met. You faced off against him head on. You tricked them time and time again, you stayed true to Dumbledore's values, and you continued to teach us. I respect you sir." Neville finished before he sat down. Severus stared at him in shock. After a few seconds he cleared his throat and seemed to swallow down some kind of emotion.

"Thank you for that… passionate address Mr. Longbottom… today we'll be beginning the brewing for veritaserum. Keep in mind that I may or may not test it on you, so I would follow the instructions to the letter. The tables you are sitting at are your teams. You will all be brewing the one potion. Good luck." Severus finished. With that Harry and his group sprung into action. Hermione began carefully copying out the instructions, reading through her theory book to modify it so that it would be more effective. Neville carefully selected the plant ingredients that were best while Harry selected the animal based ones. Ron was busy setting the fire up to the perfect temperature, monitoring it precisely. The class was working efficiently when Severus cleared his throat.

"Oh yes. Mr. Potter, Mrs. Granger-Weasley, Mr. Weasley, and Mr. Longbottom." the four looked up at him. "Twenty points each for your bravery in the final battle." the four dropped their mouths open in shock. Severus Snape had just awarded eighty points to Gryffindor! Eighty! Hermione squealed when their potion dipped into a dangerous shade of red and the four scrambled to repair the damage their momentary shock has caused. The Slytherins were not so lucky. They lost half their potions as it sizzled away before they could repair the damage. So it was that when the second period drew to an end the Slytherins were mortified to see Severus give them an unimpressed glance. He looked at his son and he took in what he saw. There were no words but Harry felt himself fill with an enjoyment. He had seen it in his mother's eyes, a pride reserved only for him. And so Harry was filled with a confidence for his next class. He smiled as he saw Ginny and Luna waiting by the door along with Seamus and Dean. Together the group entered the class. They sneered as they passed a very pompous Theodore Nott, who had, it seemed, taken up Draco's position as the annoying pompous git of Slytherin. Harry brushed him off, knowing he'd get his just deserts. As he looked to his father at the front of the class he and the other were confused. James seemed to be packing up his bag. The class stared at him. He looked at them and smiled.

"As my seventeen year old class I have a wonderful liberty. I have no need to ask your parents for permission to do things." the class rang with laughter. "And so. Leave your bags here; we're going for a field trip. I called in a favor from an old buddy of mine." with that James led then off of the grounds. He hailed the day bus and managed to charm his way into not having to pay for anybody. The class of excited seventeen year olds were chattering away as the bus lurched this way and that. Finally the bus jolted to halt. "Alright, please get off the bus orderly, it's really busy outside and I don't want to get an angry letter from the board about lost students." and so they stepped off in a group. The class looked about in amazement at the bustling streets but Hermione, Ron and Harry recognized the terrain to well.

"Harry…" Hermione stared

"Yeah I know." Harry confirmed

"The employee entrance…" Ron muttered. James noticed it and frowned before he stepped forward and directed the students to the revolving doors. He led the students to the secretary desk.

"State your business."

"I have a class with me, Mr. Merlin is expecting me." James said. The woman looked at him and paled.

"Oh… yes of course, elevator three." James nodded and directed the students to the third elevator. The muggles around them played them no heed as they rushed about. As James stepped in he turned to the panel.

"Right then. 6, 2, 4, 4, 2." James said pushing each button. After a while they slowly descended until final the doors opened. The students stepped out into the crowded atrium. James directed them forwards. Harry looked about he looked ahead and felt relief fill his form. The horrible statue in the atrium had been replaced. It was similar to the statue of magical brethren with a noticeable and most welcome change. The centaur, goblin and house elf were not looking at the witch and wizard as if they were gods made mortal. They were all placed in such a way that they were equal in height. The goblin stood on a mountain of gold holding a sword pointed to the ground. The house elf was on a plateau dressed in a robe face set in a kind smile. The centaur practically dominated the centre, face turned to the sky, set in determination as it held an arrow ready to be loosed. The witch and wizard had their wands crossed above their heads their faces set in determination. Water jetted out of the top of their wands and sprayed out from the centaur's arrow point. Harry walked up to it and smiled at the engraving along the bottom.

_"To commemorate the many brave souls that gave their lives to defend our world, may their bravery never be forgotten."_

_"Proceeds to the fountain go to St. Mungo's hospital for magical maladies and injuries"_

Harry smiled as he thought t the three creatures that were there and who they represented. The proud goblin, Griphook. He might have been a sneak, but he was cunning, he knew Harry wouldn't keep his word. It was what harries deserved. And in the end he didn't tell Voldemort what had happened. As Harry understood Griphook had given his life trying to keep the information from Voldemort. Then he thought to the free elf, Dobby, who had saved him at the cost of his happiness and life time and time again. And finally the centaur. Firenze and Bane both lost in the battle giving their lives for the humanity who had treated them so poorly. Suddenly a hand landed on his shoulder. James looked at him and smiled.

"Glad they changed the statue, the old one was drab." James commented. Harry shook his head.

"You're lucky you missed the one in the middle." Harry said. James frowned.

"There was another one?" he asked. Harry shuddered.

"Yes, but it's better to forget about." Harry assured. With that James led Harry back towards the group and after registering with the visitors desk shoved them all into an elevator and brought them to level 1. As James led them into the auror offices a cheer rose up.

"JAMES!" everyone called with wide smiles. James smiled and waved jovially at all the aurors that he had known in training. James accepted the handshakes and back patting with a jovial smile before he continued leading his students down the halls. Finally the stopped at a plain grey door.

"After you." James offered. Harry frowned and stepped inside. He felt his mouth drop open. The room they stepped into was relatively small, though it fit all of them comfortably. No it was the room that you could see through the window that shocked him. It was a huge obstacle course. Harry stared at it then turned as his father started talking. "As you can see, this is the auror training grounds. Everyday hopeful young witches and wizards run this course. We have a saying in the offices. You fail at the course, you're dead and you have to wash everyone's towels." James offered. Then he opened the door with a smile. "You're going to run It." everyone blinked at him. His smile slipped off. "I wasn't kidding." he said with a stern face. Slowly the class filed in, not quite sure what to do. James closed the door and turned on the intercom. "Oh, I forgot." suddenly the lights began to flash and spells began dazzling passed the crowd. The student raced forwards some yelping surprise. "You can't sit still!" James finished with obvious mirth as he watched the group run. Parvati slipped on an unsteady platform and fell out of the course. "Patil! You're dead!" James cried. Dean was knocked back by a spell and managed to knock both Ginny and Seamus off the course as well. "Thomas, Finnegan, Weasley seven, dead!" Theo and Blaise jumped back in fright the piece of course in front of them burst into flame causing them to slip off.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US?!" Theo screamed in anger.

"Nope! Just teaching." James answered over the intercom. Hannah and Susan fell next, one getting knocked over and the other falling when she tried to keep her friend on. Harry, Hermione, Ron and Luna were actually doing pretty good. Luna was knocked off first. Her foot got caught around a fake tree and she splayed into the ground. Harry, Hermione and Ron began running as if they had done this before. But they weren't prepared when they were suddenly circled by practice dummies that fired off curses. Or rather they weren't quite up to the task. They seemed unafraid and ready to fight to the death but they were expecting it and so they had to draw on spells rapidly. Hermione was eventually over come. James felt a bit of nostalgia as he watched Ron and Harry fight back to back. He and Sirius had been in the same position as youth. When Ron fell James wholly expected history to repeat itself but he reasoned later he shouldn't have under estimated his son. With a mighty whip if his wand Harry blasted a hole in the dummies defenses and raced forwards dodging the curses before he pushed the big red button at the end of the course. There was a sound like a foghorn and the lights went back on. All but Blaise and Theo were cheering as Harry wiped sweat off his brow. There was applause from the door and James smiled.

"Well done Harry. Remind me to give twenty points to Gryffindor when we get back. As you can see the only person really up to the task of defending yourself is Harry here… Harry, do tell me, what were the things that aided your success?"

"Erm… well I tried to stay loose… you know… go with the flow…" Harry offered with a blush at being singled out.

"Helps that he's already defeated a dark lord." Theo muttered darkly. James turned to him with a grin.

"Most astute Mr. Nott! My son has had years of firsthand experience… so I'm going to give you that experience." James said. The class stared at him in shock and confusion.

"I'm sorry what?" Ginny asked. James smiled at them.

"Each of you is going to choose a dark witch or wizard from history. You are going to spend the rest of the year researching and preparing at the end of the year your practical exam with consists of a duel between yourself and a dummy that will exhibit your dark wizard's characteristics. If you train and study hard enough, you pass… if not… well…" James let his thought trail off… Hermione looked particularly scared by that. Nott snorted.

"Let me guess, Potter's going to be reenacting his 'amazing' duel with Voldemort." Theo snarked. James looked at him with a smile.

"Oh no, no Harry is going to battle the entire auror corps," James stated

"What?" Harry asking in shock.

"By himself." James finished. Harry's mouth dropped open. The entire class was staring at their professor like he was crazy. James checked his watch and nodded.

"Whelp, we better get going, lunch just started." with that the class quickly left the building. Harry was particularly nauseous as he passed the auror offices and counted quickly in his head how many there were. The ride on the bus back to Hogwarts flashed by for Harry. Finally they were back in castle. As Harry sat at the table for lunch he looked up at the dad and his face set into a harsh frown. His father was testing him… yeah! Well Harry was gonna prove him wrong! He could to do this! With that Harry settled into his lunch with determination. This year at Hogwarts was going to be his best yet or his name wasn't Harry James Potter! And so Harry dove into his studies. He worked harder than anyone else. He researched every fighting tactic he could. His marks in potions, transfigurations, and herbology were higher than they had ever been. Everything seemed fine.

Then they started.

The horrible awful nightmares returned. The ones Harry was sure he was free of. They were different though. Almost worse. It became so bad that Harry was no longer able to sleep. After five straight days of not sleeping Harry was ready to drop. His grades started to slip but Harry in his pride refused to admit that he needed help. One day as he was on his way to potions Draco pulled him aside.

"Harry… you look dead on your feet mate… here… take this." Draco said putting a small vial of purple potion in his hand. Harry frowned.

"What is this?" he asked. He was sure he recognized the color but he was so out of it recently.

"It's dreamless sleep potion. One dose… you need the sleep, as a healer in training you should know that." Draco snarked. Harry shot him a dirty look.

"I'm not a healer in training right now; I'm just getting my N.E.W.T.S."

"Yeah so are the rest of us… just… hold it together okay Potter?" Draco asked. Harry smiled.

"Don't worry cous. I'm not about to let a little lack of sleep bring me down." Harry assured. That night the dreamless sleep brought Harry such relief. He was so perky the next day he was studying circles around Hermione again. Yet that night he was plagued again. So he went looking for Draco. The man was ending up a class with second years when Harry walked in. Draco looked up in confusion.

"Harry."

"Hey Draco… I was wondering if you had more of that dreamless sleep potion. Don't worry." Harry continued when Draco gave him a worried glance. "I know the dosage and everything. It was one of the basics in med school." Harry said. Draco paused before he seemed to reach a decision within himself and nodded. He went to the potions cupboard and withdrew three vials.

"Just remember… non consecutive doses."

"Yes I know one dose every other day. Don't worry Draco, it's just if I really need It." Harry insisted. But the world conspired against him. Merrilots seemed to order test after test after test and Harry struggled to keep the doses non consecutive and still be awake enough to function through the broken sleep. Finally one night he reasoned one double dose couldn't hurt. At the end of the week Harry went back to Draco. The boy was reluctant but relented when he saw Harry's tired face. But it soon was that Harry couldn't function and he continued to take the doses daily. It just wasn't enough but he knew if he went to Draco the blond would refuse so Harry began to brew it in the second floor girls' bathroom like Hermione had the polyjuice potion. Harry took the dose nightly it was all he could do to sleep as even one missed dose led to terrors more than he had ever faced before. He grew more and more anxious and fidgety as the days drew on. One day Luna walked over worriedly.

"Harry…" she started. Harry looked at her with a smile.

"Luna." he said happily. But she wasn't happy.

"Harry… I'm worried about you… we haven't talked in weeks… I sent you a letter a while ago because you seemed to be ignoring me…" Luna said quietly. Harry looked at her in confusion.

"I haven't been ignoring you."

"I tried to say hi to you yesterday and you walked passed me like I wasn't there Harry." Luna sited quietly. Harry wracked his brain in confusion.

"I don't remember…" he continued. Luna interrupted that.

"Not only that but you haven't even talked about the Quidditch season… its starting next month… shouldn't you be working on strategy plans. Ron says he asked you about it and you brushed him off…." Luna said quietly. Harry bristled angrily.

"Quidditch just isn't important right now." he muttered. Luna stared at him with a new fear in her eyes.

"You love Quidditch." she murmured worriedly. "What's wrong Harry… you've… changed."

"I haven't changed! I'm the same as I've always been! Just leave me alone! I'm fine!" Harry shouted as he stormed out of the great hall. Luna stared after him with tears in her eyes. The whole hall had heard Harry's outburst and were whispering. James and Severus glanced at one another worriedly. But they never had a chance to speak. Harry began to avoid everyone. He was withdrawn and grouchy and his grades once again started to slip. His parents worriedly watched as Harry drifted farther and farther away from them. Things on Harry's end were not good. The potion had stopped having an effect on him. After a week of it Harry was no longer thinking straight. He went up to the common room before everyone else. He needed to sleep. He had to. Downstairs the Gryffindor boys were drawing straws to see who was going to go confront Harry. The teen wasn't their friend anymore. Someone had to talk to him but none of them were quite brave enough. In the end Neville plucked up the courage and stepped up the stairs. As he opened the door he cried out in shock. Harry was shuddering on the floor a pool of vomit beside as he jerked. The three other boys raced up the stairs.

"Get Madam Pomfrey." Neville said quietly. Ron didn't need telling twice he ran as fast as he could. He went to the matron first. She quickly flooed up to the Gryffindor common room, as he dashed off to find Harry's mum and dad. All the while he couldn't help but dread what he would find when he made his way to the hospital wing with them

**~Chapter Finite Incantatum~**

* * *

A/N: whelp…

I'm sure some of you are very mad right now… very mad…

Books especially…

I love having an editor…

Moving on

arisflame: yes you're quite right. But no matter how you slice it these Potters can never catch a break… especially when I control their lives… I may or may not have problems...

Girl-luvs-manga: yeah… and they get along even better here… then I had to go and ruin it all… *sigh* I write drama too well… I should write soap operas…

Guest: … yeah I didn't look into that enough… when I was writing it sounded right but I guess it doesn't really work in the real world… when I edit this (and I will someday) I'll be sure to change that…

HeyMika: I'm glad I can inspire emotions in you… it makes me happy for some reason. I'm glad you enjoy it. It's one of the only good free ones on the internet, I know, I checked. I only started writing this because I couldn't find anything else quite like it on the internet…

lady necromancer: aw lady, we meet again. Thank you for sticking through with my episode of writers block. I have been working on this continuously to bring you a new chapter… just over a month. Pretty good that.

Well I hope you all enjoy this and wait with bated breath for the next chapter… which will be along…

Eventually…

-TTC

P.S. I suck.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

A/N: see bottom

Onwards...

* * *

Harry opened his eyes and sat up looking around. He was in a foggy expanse of nothing. He was confused. Where was he? What was going on?

"Get up you imbecile." a harsh woman's voice called out from the fog. Harry quickly whipped around and felt his mouth drop open slightly. Before him was a severe blond woman dressed in deep black robes. She had deep blue eyes and a very familiar arched brow. Harry blinked.

"Eileen… Eileen Prince?"

"Snape." she corrected with a sniff. "So you're my grandson. I must say I find myself disappointed. Did you learn nothing in medical school or are the professors that abysmal?" Harry blinked at her in confusion.

"What happened…? I… I don't remember…"

"I common side effect of addiction to sleep aids. You overdosed on dreamless sleep you blithering ignoramus." Eileen snapped. Harry paled. Suddenly he could hear the noise in the background, a horrible sobbing that was echoing in the fog. "Is that…"

"Yes. Severus. He's crying over you as we speak… he didn't even sob this much at my funeral." Eileen griped with a scoff. Harry listened to it in horror before he covered his ears trying to block it out.

"What have I done...? I didn't mean for all of this to happen… I just." Eileen placed a hand on her grandson's shoulder.

"Harry… I need to know what you are planning… because I may or may not have to put you over my knee depending on your answer. And I will young man, no matter how old you are!" Eileen threatened when Harry flashed her a disbelieving look. Eileen paused, collecting her thoughts before she continued. "My son's life is an endless sea of troubles… he constantly strives to achieve happiness and just when he has everything he wants it is snatched away by the cruel winds of fate… once again his life is on the up. He has you back, he has James back, he has his job back and is actually enjoying it for a change, and the Dark Lord is gone… I need to know if you are going back to them… because I want my son to be happy… I couldn't be there to ensure his happiness… I fear what he will do if he loses you Harry… if he was bitter before…" Eileen trailed off. As she did Harry realized how faint the screams of his mother had become. He glanced away from the fog in horror. Eileen smirked "ah. I see you have made your choice. Good. Tell Severus I said hello and to take his time. 38 is too young for a wizard." Harry turned to her. "Well what are you waiting for? Run." she whispered. With that Harry turned and bolted away from the fog. A few meters away he skidded to a halt and turned back.

"Wait!" he cried. Eileen turned to him, a dark smudge amongst the light. "All in my head?"

"Of course you dunderhead!" Eileen shouted with a touch of endearment "but still just as real." Harry smiled before he ran again. Suddenly he felt a sensation of falling before he slipped away into oblivion. Without his worldly knowledge Pomfrey suddenly cried out in shock and relief.

"I have a pulse!" she cried to the two healers that she had called from St. Mungo's. One rushed forward to help Pomfrey set up the life lines that would save Harry Potter's life. The other held Severus back as the man rushed forward.

"Sir, please don't make me stun you." Elizabeth Anderson begged sadly. Severus looked at her with terror filled distressed eyes.

"Please. I need to hold him." Severus begged. Anderson looked over Severus' shoulder to James with sad eyes. James looked as distressed as Severus and she felt awful for keeping Harry's parent back.

"We're transporting him." the healer behind her called. She looked back at the pair.

"I'm sorry but his condition is critical. We need space to work. Are you coming with us?"

"Of course we are you idiot!" James cried in indignation. Anderson flinched before she watched as Harry Potter was rushed from the hospital wing to the floo. She quickly followed along with Severus and James. When the pair exited they looked very lost and confused. Anderson sighed before she guided Severus to a nearby bench. The man looked like he was going to throw up and James looked faint and shaky.

"I'll come find you as soon as he's moved to a room… we're going to do everything in our power to save your son." Elizabeth assured before she dashed off. As Severus and James sat there they watched two younger healers rush by.

"I can't believe this is happening… Harry was the best med student in a hundred years..." one muttered as they dashed in the direction of the emergency room. James felt sick to his stomach hearing that. If he'd let his son continue in medical school what would be happening right now? Would he be rising up the ladder? Would he be saving lives instead of needing to have his saved by the same staff he wanted to be a part of? James dug his hands into his hair and burst into tears. This was all his fault. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder. He turned his tear stained face to Severus. He looked pale and frightened and James felt terrible for being so selfish. He reached out and clutched onto Severus and let the usually stoic man fall apart against him. They sat there for a good long while. Finally James jerked awake as Anderson returned.

"Sir… if you just follow me…" she said quietly. James nodded and gently woke Severus and guided the groggy man down the hall after the healer. She opened the door and let the pair enter the room. James looked at his son who looked so very frail in the hospital bed. He gently set Severus down in a chair and turned back to her.

"When will he wake up?" James asked in a whisper. Anderson winced.

"We expect he'll wake up some time tomorrow. We'll be spending the next week detoxing. After that there is about two weeks of withdrawal recovery… he should be back to Hogwarts around March." Anderson said quietly. James sighed before he went over to the chair that was closets to Harry's head. He took his sons hand and brought it to his lips before he took off his glasses and let his eyes drift closed. Anderson watched him sadly before she left the troubled family. Harry lifted his heavy eyelids the next morning. He was bleary eyed and nauseous and all around paying for his mistakes. Suddenly his blurry vision was filled with two shadows.

"Harry." Severus murmured like he was a miracle. Harry turned to him tiredly.

"Mum… Mum… Grandmum said…" Harry murmured in confusion. He couldn't think straight. Suddenly there was a hand in his hair and Harry turned to the other shadow.

"Shh it's alright. Whatever it is it can wait." James looked up as healer Anderson stepped in and smiled.

"He awake then?" she asked before she stepped up to Harry's bed. Severus helped Harry prop himself up on the pillow. "Hello Mr. Potter, my name is healer Anderson. How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by the Hogwarts Express." Harry murmured. Anderson chuckled darkly before she looked at his file wearily.

"Harry I'm going to have to ask some very uncomfortable questions… would you prefer your parents to be out of the room or is it okay if they stay?" Anderson questioned. Harry looked between his parents wearily but swallowed and nodded for Anderson to begin. The healers smiled sadly but looked at her list.

"How long have you been taking dreamless sleep potion?" Anderson asked. Harry winced.

"Since the second week of term…" Harry admitted. Severus made a distressed noise. Anderson nodded and made a note.

"What was your dosage?" she asked. Harry turned a slight shade of green.

"I was taking three every night for the past week and a half." he admitted. Severus chocked. Harry looked over and saw his mother sobbing into his hands. He felt shame rise up inside of him and had to look down at his hands. Anderson looked at Severus sadly before she looked at Harry.

"Harry…" Harry looked up at her and she felt her heart break he looked so downtrodden. Was this really the same boy the dean said was a prodigy of the healer craft destined to follow in his grandfather's footsteps? "Why did you do it?" she asked suddenly. It wasn't what she had meant to ask but it just slipped out before she could stop it. The boy's eyes welled up with tears and he buried his hand in his hair and he shook his head rapidly.

"I just wanted it all to stop. I just wanted it all to go away." Harry cried. James reached over and held his son while tears slid down his face. The whole family sat in the hospital room reeling from the trauma that had passed and Anderson didn't have the heart to continue her questioning. She stepped outside and composed herself. She should be more professional than this. As she took a few deep breaths she jumped when a gentle hand was placed on her shoulder. James shot her an apologetic look before he sighed heavily and ran his fingers through his hair roughly. He looked hopeless. Anderson took a deep breath and looked down at her file. "We'll be slowly detoxing him down for the next week. Two doses tonight, one tomorrow."

"You're gonna give him more of the potion?" James asked in confusion, horror, and distress. Anderson sighed wearily.

"It is very difficult to detox suddenly. It's better to wean the individual off gradually." Anderson clarified. James nodded and shakily ran a hand through his hair. Anderson placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Stay with him, support him, and Harry will get through this… you all will." Anderson assured. James swallowed before he nodded. The next few days were the hardest that the Potter family had ever gone through. Harry struggled to stay awake while James begged his son to sleep. On the fifth day mind healer Smithson walked into Harry's room. Harry was sitting by the window and looked up anxiously.

"Hello there Mr. Potter. How are you feeling today?" Smithson asked. Harry frowned.

"Who are you? I don't want to say anything until my parents are here." Harry said as he stood and backed into the far wall. Smithson made a show of obviously backing up and sat down in the chair by the door. Shortly after he did this James walked in. he took one look at Harry and dropped his coffee and rushed to his side.

"Harry what's wrong, what happened?" James asked worriedly. Harry nodded in Smithson's direction and James turned around. James saw the healer and turned back to his son. "Harry it's just mind healer Smithson. You know him." James said gently. Harry looked at him untrustingly and hugged himself in distress.

"I don't need somebody poking around my head." Harry muttered. James frowned and looked at the mind healer.

"Why are you here healer Smithson?"

"I work with high risk cases. Those who are in danger."

"I'm not in danger. So you can just go away." Harry insisted angrily holding himself. James had paled dramatically at Smithson's words and turned back to his son and tried to get him to look at him. But Harry wouldn't budge. James eventually grabbed his son's face in his hands.

"Harry… please… maybe it's for the best…"

"I'm not crazy!" Harry screamed pushing James away. James stepped back.

"I didn't say you were. But Harry please… he only wants to help." James begged. But Harry still back away and curled into himself a hand fisted in his hair.

"Just go away. I don't want… I just want… why can't it just… just go away." Harry sobbed as he sat onto his bed heavily and his shoulders shook. James paled further and sat and held his son as hard as he could to his chest. He rubbed Harry's back gently and hummed a bit as a few tears dripped down his cheeks and into his son's unruly hair. After a few seconds Smithson stepped forwards, pulling his chair and sat before the father and son.

"What do you want to go away Harry?" he asked quietly. Harry sniffed and took a deep shuddery breath.

"I just want it to stop… it was supposed to be over…" Harry chocked out sadly. James wept into his sons hair as he spoke, feeling like an absolutely failure. Smithson meanwhile was frowning.

"What was supposed to be over Harry?" he asked quietly.

"The war." Harry sobbed. James lifted his head in shock with wide eyes. Harry continued speaking; the flood gates finally open after being shut for so long. "Every night I could see them all the dead the dying and there all reaching for me and grabbing and I can't take it. I just… it's all my fault… it's all my fault" Harry finished before sobbing in earnest into his hands. James felt a mixture of sadness but great relief pour into him. Smithson continued to sit and watch as James held and calmed his son. Eventually Harry's sobs reduced to hiccupping breaths and he began to speak.

"Harry. I know you do not want to but it is important to deal with these issues. Bottling it all up inside leads to things like what happened last week." Smithson said delicately. Harry nodded numbly and James looked at Smithson tiredly.

"Maybe it can wait till tomorrow. I think Harry needs some rest." James said. Smithson nodded and left the hospital room. With that James finally convinced Harry to sleep. He promised his tired, stressed, son that if he had a nightmare James would wake him and guide him back to sleep. Harry woke and was calmed back to sleep three times before Severus arrived from Hogwarts.

"James, it's four in the morning. Please get some rest. I will stay awake." Severus begged and placed a hand on James' shoulder. James sighed and took of his glasses rubbing a kink in his neck out.

"Alright, alright." James said before slid his glasses into his robe pocket and quickly drifted off to sleep. Severus draped a blanket over the man before he took up his chair and moved it closer to Harry and brushed his son's hair out of his sleeping eyes. With that he leaned back and opened a potions text. Two hours later Severus looked up from his book as a quiet whimpering caught his attention. He quickly set the book aside and placed a hand on his son's arm and squeezed slightly. Harry in his sleep shoved the hand away and whimpered more. Severus wanted to smack himself for being such a fool. He quickly set up a silencing charm around the bed so as not to wake James.

"Harry! Harry wake up! It's only a nightmare. Listen to my voice." Severus cried. Harry was up in a jolt panting like the devil was on his heels. He looked around bleary eyed and physically jumped back when he saw Severus. Severus carefully placed a hand on the mattress beside his distressed son. "Harry… it's all right. Everything's alright. No one here is going to hurt you." Severus said calmly keeping his voice low and gentle. Harry stared at him for a few second before the flood gate opened and he began to loudly sob into his hands.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Is there any way you'll forgive me?" Harry sobbed. Severus gently reached out to his son and held him close.

"I don't blame you for anything Harry. You are blameless in my eyes. Nothing you have done has made me ashamed or angry with you." Severus insisted as he lightly kissed the top of Harry's head. "Now… to sleep… with me now take three deep breaths and clear you mind." Harry made a face akin with a grimace of regret, distaste, and shame. "Perhaps that was not the best wording." That earned a weak chuckle with a ghost of a smile on Harry's face. Severus felt his heart soar. Even part of a smile was an improvement in his eyes. With that he slowly guided Harry back to sleep.

The following week was stressful for everyone. Harry had terrible mood swings as his detoxing went on. Some days he was cranky, irritable, and snapped at anything anyone said, driving his parents mad with frustration. The next day he might be teary eyed depressed and quiet. He had moment where he wanted to be around his parents and hear a story of one of James escapades. The next day he wouldn't anything to do with anyone. The back and forth was giving his parents emotional whiplash. On one of Harry's moodier days James went to the tea room and ordered a coffee. While he was there healer Smithson walked over.

"Hello James… how are you holding up?" he asked with a slightly smile.

"It's going great. The healers say Harry might be able to go back to Hogwarts soon." James said as he drank his coffee in thought. Smithson raised an eyebrow.

"I asked how you were James, not Harry. I know how Harry is feeling. I speak with him every day if you recall. You on the other hand I have not spoken to since you were Jonathan Parker." Smithson said. James groaned as he thought about that mess. After a few minutes wherein in the pair had walked down the hall that Harry's room was in James sighed.

"I… I'm holding up… I… truth be told I'm still reeling… it… it just was so unreal… I… and then." James stopped and took a deep shaky breath before he rubbed his face and swallowed heavily. Smithson said nothing simply waited for James to speak. "He… he was gone… just like that… gone… and now… I just… I don't know how Severus lived through it..." James said shakily.

"He was comatose the first time." Smithson pointed out. "So he hadn't gone through it before now as everyone has been commenting." James frowned.

"People have been saying that?" James asked in confusion. Smithson nodded gravely.

"Yes. A reporter tried to come in here and harass Harry and Severus stopped them and was harassed himself. Don't worry an auror friend of yours made sure she didn't publish anything." Smithson clarified to calm James' distressed frown. "Did Severus not tell you about this?" Smithson asked. James swallowed and sighed again.

"Severus and I… we haven't talked as much lately… it's just… it's been hard." James admitted sadly. Smithson nodded before he stopped James and looked him in the eye.

"Talk to your husband James. This effects all of you not just Harry. You all need to be there for each other to get through this." Smithson insisted. James took a fortifying breath and nodded. Smithson smiled and bowed his head as a farewell and walked away. And so when James reentered Harry's hospital room he placed a kiss to bother Severus and Harry's temple as sat down to listen to the tale Harry was weaving which involved a secret society, a box of tainted chocolate, a well placed broom cupboard and, for some unexplained reason, a troll in a tutu. Things seemed bright after James and Severus spoke later that day. Harry still had days where he wanted to be alone but James felt less hopeless when it happened.

Finally the day came when his deter was considered complete. James had packed up all the family's things and gone ahead to Hogwarts to prepare for the coming week. As the nurse came in for one final check up Severus came in and sat beside his son.

"Harry…" Severus said quietly placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry looked at his mother and Severus could see many emotions flying through his son's head. Fear, sadness, regret, shame. Severus held his son and kissed his head. "No matter what, we will be here to help you… you don't have to hide from us Harry… your father and I love you more than anything… we would never push you away when you needed us. I promise you Harry we will be there for you." Severus kissed his head again and held him tight. "Always." Harry reached up and held his mother tight as he could after that, crying slightly. This was the scene James walked into on and he felt the need to show how much he loved the pair. So he came and wrapped them both in tight hug. With that the trio was leaving. As they did countless trainee healers stepped forward to give Harry hugs and words of encouragement and hope. Harry gave every one of them a smile. Though it didn't seemed to reach his eyes as much as James or Severus would have liked. The return to Hogwarts was silent, a looming sense of dread seemingly hanging over Harry like a thick cloud cover. When they finally stepped through the doors Harry looked very tense and stressed. The reason why soon became apparent. Hermione was walking up to them slowly with Ron and Harry's other Gryffindor friends behind her. She slowly snaked her arms around him in a tight hug. Harry hugged her back but it was stiff. After a while the girl's shoulders began to shake. Whatever she was whispering in Harry's ear made the tension melt away and he slowly patted his friends back. After a while Hermione let him go and Harry went to give Ron a hug. The tall ginger hugged him tightly. Harry was muttering something in his ear too. Whatever it was it affected the boy strongly as he seemed to be steadfastly ignoring the few tears that were sliding down his cheeks. After Harry had exchanged words with each of his friends Severus could see that he looked very tired and drained and so he shooed the teens away and guided Harry to his and James' quarters.

"Minerva set up a new room in our quarters for you. If you ever feel stressed or you need some time alone just come here. The password is staghorn. Your father's idea, not mine." Severus finished with a mutter and a muted indulgent glare at James. The room was moderately sized with its own bathroom. Harry sat on the bed and wiped his face tiredly. "Get some rest. You'll be back to your classes tomorrow." Severus said. Harry nodded and slowly got ready for a nap. The return to Hogwarts was rather anticlimactic. Harry worked hard as he could. Raising his grades up to what they were at the start of the school year. Some nights he was still affected by nightmares but thanks to his sessions with healer Smithson which he still had in a private room in Hogwarts every Tuesday during his spare Harry was beginning to be able to move through them and get back to sleep with no further dreams haunting him. Every now and then something would be said that would cause Harry to crave the potion again but he was battling them with all his might. To do this he threw himself into not only his studies but training for Quidditch too. He went on daily runs and went to pitch whoever he could spare. Crowds would gather to ogle as his amazing broom and watch as he preformed all the stunts he knew. He found solace in honing his body into a well oiled machine. It was on one of these morning runs while he was taking a breather that Draco Malfoy walked up to him. Harry stood and looked at him.

"Hey." he said quietly.

"Hey…" Draco began. But the words he opened his mouth to speak seemed to die in his throat. Harry looked at him waiting and after a while Draco finally spoke. "I was such an idiot. I'm so sorry Harry...this is all my fault… I… I don't deserve your forgiveness… but… I..." Harry cut the blond off by giving him a strong hug.

"This wasn't your fault Draco… I'm the one with medical training. I knew what I was doing to myself and chose to continue. I'm the only one to blame for what happened… I don't want you to blame yourself okay… because then it'll eat away at you and you'll end up like me…" Harry finished gravely. Draco looked at him horrified. "I'm… not broken but… I'm not as strong as I was… I don't know if I'll ever be fixed completely… but I'm going to try and fix myself as much as I can… but I need you guys to be there with me… I can't do it all alone…" Harry finished. Draco was looking at him for a few seconds and finally and nodded.

"I promise Harry I'll always be here to help… we all will… if you ever need anything all you have to do is ask." Draco said before he held out his hand. Harry gave him a smile and took his hand giving it a hardy shake and another hug. From then on Harry and Draco acted as if nothing had changed. It seemed like thing were almost back to normal. But they weren't quite. There were days that just didn't working Harry's favour. The days when his depression and cravings worked against him and he struggled more than anything. One such day say Harry fleeing the castle in a desperate attempt to be alone. The fog was thick over the hills as he crossed the wood bridge. He trekked his way through the forbidden forest along the lake taking deep heavy breaths as he tried to use the action of walking to clear his thoughts that were filled with darkness and stress. After a while Harry gave up on his walk and sat on a rock by the lake and clutched his hair in his hands desperately. After a while he looked up with a jolt and whipped around. Standing just on the edge of the mist was Luna. She looked at Harry with a small smile and walked forwards. She reached out a hand and urged Harry to stand. After Harry stood she let go of one of his hands and wiped his tear stained cheeks.

"You aren't alone… you're never alone." she insisted as she took both his hands in hers again and squeezed. Harry felt his tension melt away and he slowly released her hands to encompass her in his arms. After a few minutes he started crying again.

"I'm so sorry Luna… I'm so sorry." Harry sobbed. Luna just hummed as she helped him through the pain. After a while his sobs died down and together they walked back through the forest to the castle. Once in the great hall Luna sat beside him again their hands interlaced. They were still in that position when Severus walked into the great hall. He stopped as he passed the pair and smiled slightly before he continued up the great hall. From that day on Harry didn't go on as many walks choosing instead to go to Luna when he needed support. Soon enough the Quidditch season was just around the corner. So it was that Harry stood before the team of mostly second years and took a deep breath.

"Alright… so you've all tried out… and you were the best… well… I…" Harry swallowed and look up to the stands where Luna gave Harry an encouraging smile. Harry smiled back then nodded before looking back to the group. "This year the season is a bit different. We're only going to be playing one game. But it's better than nothing right? We'll be playing against Slytherin. I personally would have preferred Hufflepuff but I think the head knew that would be too easy… that or my mum is feeling super bitter and wants one last go at it while I'm still at Hogwarts." the whole group laughed at that and Harry felt his spirits bolster. "We're gonna start with some warm ups. Our game is in about two weeks. We need as much training time as possible but I'm confident that we'll be ready… alright! Get on your brooms! Let's go!" Harry cried before he zipped into the air on his broom in a flash. He trained hard with the new team all day and at the end of the day he flopped down on the couch next to Hermione and sighed. "God I hope their ready."

"That bad?" she asked quietly. Harry sighed.

"Well their not bad… they're just not as good as I'm used to. Thank god Ginny's there otherwise I think I'd break my broom and give up now." Harry said as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

"Hey if you're thinking of breaking your broom just give it to me. I'll use it." Ron commented with a laugh. Harry reached over Hermione and punched Ron.

"Yeah well I'd be less annoyed if you were on the team. Why didn't you try out?" Harry accused. Ron shrugged.

"I wanted to be more focused on my studies." Ron said quietly. Harry and Hermione both stopped what they were doing and looked at him with flabbergast faces.

"Who are you and what have you done with Ron Weasley?" Harry asked with a snort after a few seconds. Hermione meanwhile took Ron's face in both her hands and gave him a very forceful kiss. Harry laughed at Ron's blank slightly confused face as Hermione went back to her already extensive essay. Ron eventually shook off his stupor and looked back down at his defense textbook. After a few minutes Ron closed his book and turned to Harry.

"What are you going to do for your dads exam Harry?" Ron asked. Harry sighed.

"I have a plan… its barkers… but… well you'll see… Draco and I have been practicing." Harry said. Ron frowned.

"Why've you been practicing with Draco and not us? I thought he was busy with your mum's classes?"

"He said he could spare some time… I needed his insider opinion… I tried to ask mum for some pointers but he wouldn't help me… said it was too much like cheating." Harry said. Now both Ron and Hermione were frowning.

"Insider opinion for what?" Hermione asked. Harry just shook his head,

"You'll see." was all he hinted before he got up and headed for bed. Bother Ron and Hermione looked at each other before Ron shrugged and went back to his textbook. And so Harry continued to excel in his school while he battled the lingering effects of his addiction as well as preparing the new team for the Quidditch match. One night at dinner Harry was sitting trying to release some of the tension in his neck when Luna came up behind him and slipped a piece of parchment under his plate. Harry unfolded it and blinked

Astronomy Tower, midnight

Harry felt his face heat and quickly stuffed the note into his pocket before he scraped down his food. Later that night he slipped his invisibility cloak off and looked around the deserted Astronomy Tower. After a few minutes Luna stepped up the stairs. Harry felt his mouth go dry as he looked at his girlfriend's outlined in the pale light of the moon. The two moved forward and soon Harry and her were snogging with vigor in one of the shadows. Harry felt the tensions of the week melt off and sighed happily as he held Luna close. Suddenly someone tapped him on the shoulder. Harry whipped around, wand ready, and came face to face with his father. The man blinked a few times before he chuckled and shook his head.

"Five points from Gryffindor and Ravenclaw… off to bed Miss Lovegood." James said. Luna quickly ducked down and headed for the stairs but not before she looked back at Harry with a smile. James meanwhile put an arm around his sons shoulder. "I've been meaning to talk with you Harry… we'll talk on our way to the common room." James said as he led his son down the tower steps. Harry was silent, waiting for his father to say something as they walked through the empty halls. Finally James heaved a sigh and began. "What I'm about to say isn't an insult… or..." James sighed again. "I wanted to talk to you about your defense exam."

"What about it?" Harry asked in confusion. James sighed again.

"I think... in light of… things… that it might be too difficult for you." James said quietly. Harry bristled.

"I'm not weak!" he said angrily taking a step away from his father. James shook his head rapidly with pleading eyes.

"That is not what I am saying at all Harry! I know that you are an incredibly powerful and determined young man. But… I've noticed how much stress you're under and… everyone has a breaking point Harry…" James said quietly. Harry gritted his teeth.

"With all due respect dad I hit that point when I overdosed." Harry ground out. James paled a bit swallowed. Harry sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I don't need things to be made easier for me just because I've been through some hard times… if you dull things down for me people will think that I can't move forward… and it not just about that either." Harry said as he sat on a windowsill. James moved and sat beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "This isn't just about proving that I can do it to them… it's about proving that I can do it to myself…" Harry finished. James looked at his son and smiled, a bit of pride shimmering in his eyes.

"I understand… let's keeping going. Your mother will have my head if I'm out much longer… and he'll have yours too if he comes looking for me and finds out you've been out after hours." James said with a chuckle. Harry laughed a bit and the two headed for the Gryffindor common room. So Harry continued as he was and with his friends support he was stronger than ever. Soon the time came for the Quidditch match. The morning of James and Severus watched as Harry rallied all his young teammates and encouraged them.

"Today match will be quite interesting." Severus commented as he eyed the Slytherin team. They were older and more experienced with Draco as their captain but they all eyed Harry with a mixture of resentment and respect.

"I'll say." James agreed. The bell rang, signifying the start to the match and James and Severus both rose and headed for the teachers stand. As they reached the top they noticed a familiar blond head.

"Lucius!" James greeted with a smile and a hand.

"James." Lucius returned with a more subdued air but a strong hand shake.

"What brings you Lucius?" Severus asked quietly. Lucius smirked.

"Why the match of course. Gryffindor versus Slytherin. Always so exciting." Lucius said. James suddenly became very aware of a tension that was shooting between the two older Slytherins. James picked up on the fire behind Severus' eyes and shuddered. That look preluded the most cutting and biting of hexes. "Yes… always… but perhaps things will end differently this time." Lucius ended. A muscle in Severus' jaw jumped.

"Not. Likely." Severus annunciated firmly. Lulcius chuckled but James didn't find anything funny. The pair looked like they were three seconds from dawning masks and murdering each other.

"We'll see." was all Lucius said before he walked away leaving a much bristled Severus in his wake. He grabbed James' hand and began dragging him to the heads stands. James remained silent as he could see the dark thoughts swirling around in Severus' head. Once they were settled Minerva sat beside Severus.

"Who will you be cheering for Severus?" she asked quietly. Severus smiled slightly.

"Why my son of course. It is the last and only time I will get to openly cheer for the student I think deserves it." Severus said. Minerva smiled even as Neville Longbottom tripped on her cane on his way to the mega phone.

"Sorry professor!" he said for the fifth time not realizing the mega phone was active. He blushed when he did but cleared his throat and began. "WELCOME WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO THE FINAL QUIDDITCH MATCH OF THE SEASON! THIS MATCH WILL BE SLYTHERIN VERSUS GRYFFINDOR!" there was a deafening roar from all houses. There was nothing like a Gryffindor Slytherin Quidditch match. All along the Gryffindor side the house of lines could be heard chanting 'HAR-RY! HAR-RY! HAR-RY!' "Keeping in mind the Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw game last week in order to win the Quidditch cup either team must score more than 220 points!" Neville explained making a collective murmur go through the crowd. That was a tough score to beat. No one had predicted that Ravenclaw would perform so well. "ON THE SLYTHERIN SIDE! Phelps! Eaton! Warner! Henderson! Nott! Willis and MALFOY!" the Slytherins roared proudly while all the other houses booed. "FOR THE GRYFFINDORS! Murray! Kenny! Creevey! Michaels! Trott! Weasley aaaand POTTER!" the cry from the stands was enough to cause ringing in the ears. Harry whipped around the track so fast he was a mere blur of red and gold. Eventually he and Draco landed on the ground Draco noticed a slightly stumble as Harry landed. When Hooch motioned them to shake hands Draco noticed a slight tremor and a sheen of sweat on Harry's body.

"You all right cousin?" Draco whispered worriedly. Harry swallowed and nodded. The two went their separate ways mounting their brooms again. Harry hovered barely listening as he felt a tremor go over him again. He had never felt nervous about Quidditch before but for some reason the crowd was making his world tilt on its axis. He took a deep fortifying breath as he watched Hooch walk to the center of the field. He hadn't even noticed where the snitch had gone to when she opened the case. The Quaffle was thrown the players were a flurry watching them was making him sick so Harry began swooping around the edge of the pitch every once in the while he made a move as though he found the snitch then lost it again when in actuality he had no idea where it was. Suddenly the world swam and Harry felt his stomach roll. He flew over and motioned to Hooch and she frowned but blew her whistle motioning for a time out. Harry swooped down for the Gryffindor entrance as the team surrounded him.

"You alright there Harry…" Murray asked worriedly.

"You don't look so good." Creevey confirmed. Suddenly Harry dashed behind the stands, hiding himself from the view of the crowd and threw up. The whole team cried out and surrounded him.

"You can't play like this Harry! You look awful!" Ginny said worriedly. As Harry stood leaning heavily on the stand heaving. James and Severus worriedly tried to see what was happening.

"Do you think he's alright? Maybe we should go down and-" Severus began as he slowly stood but James pulled him back down and shook his head.

"No… Harry has to work through this… come on son…" James muttered under his breath. Meanwhile Harry was still trying to catch his breath when the team turned as they heard someone descending the stairs. It was Luna. She slowly stepped forwards and wrapped her arms around Harry and rubbed his back as he panted slightly.

"There's no shame in forfeiting if you can't play Harry…" Luna began. Harry choked back a sob and Luna stepped back holding Harry's face in her hands "but I can't stop you if you want to continue." Harry took hold of Luna's hand and turned his head so he was kissing her palm. After a few deep breaths he nodded and wiped his mouth.

"I can do this." he insisted and Luna gave him a small smile.

"I know you can." Luna said. Meanwhile up in the stands even James had begun to worry when Harry stepped back onto the field. Draco walked over and appeared to heckle him but James and Severus knew better. Harry in stride pretended to be offended but James saw how much different Harry was carrying himself compared to the state of the game. Harry rose to the sky much more confident than before and when he felt like he would waver he searched the crowd of Ravenclaws for a Gryffindor scarf around a blond's neck and smiled. The all around pace of the game shifted too. The Gryffindor began to play viscously. 10 to 20 became 60 to 30 then 100 to 40. Harry was doing everything in his power to catch the snitch. Finally he caught a glint of gold and leaned down into his broom. The was rushing in his ears as he dove fast and faster and faster until a loud resounding thunder crack burst out from behind him and he pulled the snitch out of the air. The whole crowd was cheering and echoed awe struck phrases was passing through the whole stadium.

"Did you see that?!"

"He broke the bloody sound barrier!"

"Potter is the fastest thing alive!"

"GRYFFINDOR HAS 250 POINT!" Neville cried out over the din. Hooch blew her whistle and rose a red and gold flag

"GRYFFINDOR WINS!" the whole school cheered. Save a few particularly bitter Slytherins who stomped off angrily. Lucius Malfoy looked slightly put out when James and Severus met him in the stairwell but he merrily jerkily nodded and walked away as if nothing happened. Down on the pitch Harry was lifted with some difficulty by his much weaker teammates. They eventually gave up when Luna ran over and plastered a huge kiss over Harry's mouth. The whole crowd whooped and wolf whistled and Harry felt a huge smile on his face he was sure wouldn't be going away for at least a few days. James and Severus walked over and James gave his son a tight hug.

"I'm proud of you." James muttered into his ear and Harry felt a lump form in his throat that made him smile. With that Harry and the rest of the school made their way back up to the castle where McGonagall awarded the Gryffindor team the house cup. Harry smiled and gave Luna another kiss.

**_~Chapter Finite Incantatum~_**

* * *

A/N:

HELLO AGAIN!

I am so sorry for the wait…

You have no idea how long it took to write this.

Originally this and the next chapter was all one chapter but in the end I wasn't pleased with it and decided to split it into two and add a bit more onto it. This of course made it take longer. I hope it was worth the wait.

I promise you it won't be as long for the next one!

And now:

Angelallie15: as you can see Harry is fine… well not fine but he hasn't let this beat him.

Snaperipper: I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm in the group that ships everyone with everything so it really depends on my mood. I wanted this story to stay relatively cannon so I kept them together… plus the only other people I ship Hermione with regularly were already taken or gay… big hint that ;)

Yashinda: I can honestly I have never laughed so hard reading a review in my entire life. I actually never really watched transformers, at least not avidly, so I had absolutely no idea. Though I'm fairly sure ratchet is a cannon death eater… so you can think about that and laugh all you like.

Yoailover6969: I'm sorry for the lateness. I hope you enjoy it :)

Girl-luvs-manga: yep!

Guest 1: dramione is alright… but Hermione and Ron were engaged in the second chapter…

Guest 2: thank you! :)

Lady necromancer: thank you so much lady. You know its fans like you that inspire us writers to keep writing

Whelp!

Until next Chapter :)

-TTC


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

_'TROLL! IN THE DUNGEONS! TROLL IN THE DUNGEON!' -Quirinus Quirrell, Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, J. _

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The days that followed the quidditch match saw the school study halls filled with a buzzing tension that had all the seventh years worked up. Several graduating students would be sent to Pomphrey for various stress related illness everything ranging from dizziness to full blown panic attacks. Harry was lucky in the sense that he did not feel panic towards his exams but rather an anxiousness that clawed under his skin and set his teeth on edge. Hermione was not helping. She studied with the same fervour she always did. Yet somehow it seemed far worse this year, for good reason, but it was getting on Harry's nerves. One evening when Hermione had thrown herself into a downward spiral of doubt and anxiety Harry snapped.

"HERMIONE! CALM DOWN!" Harry cried as he shook her lightly. Hermione stared at him in a slight daze. "You are the bloody smartest person in the whole of bloody England! You are not going to fail all your exams and get sent back to first year!" Hermione took a deep breath then nodded slowly. Harry huffed in relief and flopped back down into the couch with his potions textbook. Ron slowly leaned over as Hermione went back to studying.

"Thanks mate… I mean I would have said something but… you know how scary she gets…" Ron whispered with a wince.

"Brilliant, but scary." Harry repeated quietly causing Ron to laugh loudly earning a smack from his irritated bride to be that demanded absolute quiet during the study months. The silence law in the Gryffindor common room was so absolute that soon it was quieter than the library on some days. This caused an influx of Ravenclaws trying to get into Gryffindor 'for the quiet' James Potter frequently shewed a large crowd out of the common room around curfew with a snort and a shake of his head. James 's seventh year defense class members were in a panic leading up to the date that would take their practical. Blaise ZabinI had gone so far as to swallow his pride and go to Harry and ask about that secret room where he trained people during Umbridge's reign. Ron had stared gobsmacked at that. The boy was hardly turned around though. He was very civil with Harry and when Harry offered to give him some tips the boy looked at him as if he were a particularly disgusting thing on the bottom of his shoe.

"Blaise is a bit stubborn. He likes to try things by himself first before he accepts help." Draco told him one day as he studied with the trio one day "The problem is that he's also a bit prideful. I can't tell you how many times Proffessor Snape had to help him out of a problem after he refused to ask."

"Well it's his loss. I'd personally be honored to receive lessons from Harry." Hermione said. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Ya well we're not all super geniuses with inferiority complexes Granger." Draco drawled. Hermione pursed her lips and sent a silent stinging jinx at his thigh causing a yelp and much glowering at both Hermione and Ron, who laughed for the rest of the study session. By the time the first written exam came around Harry's head felt stuffed. He didn't think he'd be able to find anything his mind was so full of facts and dates and spells. So when he sat at his first written lesson, charms, and turned it over he was weary. glancing at the first question he silently read it in his head. _Give the Incantation, What two classes it is taught in, The effect, and the who and when the Cushioning Charm was invented._ Harry thought for moment the smirked and quickly jotted down his answer. Slowly he read over the other questions and smiled wide. They were all so easy! And so it was with his head held high that Harry exited his exam alongside his fellow students.

"That was … alright." Ron admitted in slight shock. Hermione sighed.

"I think I could have done better on the first couple questions."

"Hermione… you handed in seven rolls of parchment… what could you have done better?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow. Hermione bristled.

"Well I don't know! I just… humph." Hermione finished before she crossed her arms in irritation. Ron and Harry both laughed heartily at that before Ron gave Hermione a kiss.

"I love you." he said quietly. Hermione pursed her lips before she rolled her eyes and huffed as though she were being demanded to do some great tedious task.

"I love you too. When you're not being a prat." she allowed. Harry laughed out loud at that. That night Harry and Hermione did one last long haul study session for potions. Ron actually surprised everyone and stayed up later then the both of them to study. He stayed up so late in fact that he needed a pepperup potion. The trio went down in the great hall for the examination amongst a group of panicked students all nibbling on their fingers.

"Wait! Did I study veritaserum?! Is that on the exam you think?"

"I'm doomed! I don't have 1000 magical herbs and fungI memorized!" the chatter was making Harry nervous to the point where his hands started to shake and he started pinking at the skin around his finger nails and jerking his neck. Hermione noticed the familiar signs of his dreamless sleep cravings and held his hand.

"Harry." Hermione said drawing his eyes into hers. "Look at me. Just ignore them. Only focus on me." Harry did what she said and after a few minutes of deep breathing his hands stopped shaking.

"Thanks Hermione." Harry said quietly after a signing heavily.

"Hey any time ya need ta borrow my wife mate it's fine." Ron quipped. Hermione smacked him on the arm for the remark which helped Harry forget the incident altogether. As the doors to the room finally opened the group was introduced to two very different examiners. One was a man bent so far over his staff his was folded nearly double. His lined face was so wrinkled and layered that one was unable to tell what emotion he felt. The other was a woman who looked as though her spine had been replaced by an extremely uncomfortable metal pole which caused a particularly dark glower permanently presiding over her face. The group stared at the pair wearily until the man cleared his throat gravely and spoke.

"Please proceed to the named desks." he said with a high squeaky voice not unlike flitwick. Several particularly nervous Hufflepuffs choked on a laugh before moving arround. Soon each student was sitting at an elongated desk. As they sat down a cauldron and several utensils appeared.

"You will follow the instructions on the exam to the letter." the woman said with a haughty high pitched voice that reminded Harry horrifyingly of a strange mix between Umbridge and McGonagall. "There will be a written portion followed by a practical exercise where we will evaluate your brewing… abilities." the woman said snidely. The man clears his throat again and spoke.

"Begin!" he said before he lifted and slammed his staff on the ground and a large hour glass appeared at his side. With that Harry turned over his test and began. The questions were fairly challenging and Harry was stumped for a few seconds before he finally figured the answer. After he finished the written he moved onto the practical.

Prepare the ingredients and Brew Dreamless Sleep.

Harry choked and dropped his knife with a clatter. Everyone in the room froze and the woman walked over with a sneer.

"Is something the matter Mr. Potter?"

"I… can't brew this madame…" Harry said with a slight quiver in his voice. The woman scoffed.

"Contrary to popular belief Mr. Potter. Celebrity does not exempt you from the rules."

"Its for medical reasons." Harry tried.

"Are you allergic to any of the ingredients?" the woman asked with a sneer as if she already knew the answer.

"No but-"

"Well then if you simply don't want to brew the potion because you 'don't feel like it' I'll have no choice but to-"

"SELWYN!" the man suddenly boomed out startling several students. His voice had taken on a dark tone so contrasting from his usual voice that it caused several students to make drastic errors. "Potter looks visibly ill! He is most obviously unable to brew the requested potion! Do not argue and disturb the examination simply give him another!" he growled. The woman drew her wand with a sneer. Just as she was about to wave her wand the man added. "One that is covered in the curriculum!" the woman growled then waved her wand.

Prepare the ingredients and Brew Elixir to Induce Euphoria

Harry heaved a great sigh of relief and picked up and disinfected his knife and began chopping his vervain roots and bloodroot stems as the woman strutted away looking cross. He proceeded through the potion remembering all that he had memorized the night before. Finally he finished and bottled his potion before presenting it to the man. He picked it up swished it around then inspected it in the light. Suddenly the wrinkles in his face suddenly shifted into what Harry realized was a smile.

"Excellent Mr. Potter. Like mother like son." he said happily in his returned high squeaky voice. "Thank you sir." Harry said quietly before he bowed and made his way out of the room conscious of the woman glaring at him all the way. He waited outside until Hermione joined him in a few moments. He gave Harry a big hug.

"That woman was just awful!" she cried only loud enough that the people inside the room, by extension 'that woman' would not hear. Ron joined them with everyone else and together the trio moved outside.

"Did you hear what he called her. Selwyn. That's the name of one of the death eaters that attacked us at Lovegood's. I bet you anything she feeling bitter and petty." Ron said with gritted teeth. Harry waved his hands.

"It's over now. And that old guy liked my work so it's all fine." Harry paused at the portrait door. 'I'm actually gonna go stay with mum and dad tonight…" Harry muttered. Hermione smiled.

"It's fine Harry."Hermione said "goodnight."

"Night mate." Ron said before the two entered the common room. Harry turned for his parents quarters.

"Staghorn." he said quietly. The stag and doe on the portrait both tossed and shook their heads and the door opened. Harry stepped in and was suddenly drawn into a hug.

"Selwyn is a wretched vile woman worse than her brother." Severus muttered darkly. Harry made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a cough.

"Thanks mum." he said muffled into his mother's chest. Severus pushed him out and held him at arm's length

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Geez. you've turned into a mother hen." Harry said with a roll of his eyes. Severus sneered in distaste. Suddenly the portrait opened to admit James. He looked crosse.

"Why is Anastasia Selwyn strutting around like a pompous parrot?"

"She was the chosen master for the examination." Severus said. James made a disgusted noise.

"I love you Severus, but your colleagues are terrible." with that Harry and Severus laughed. The family enjoyed a meal together for the first time in a while. Harry stopped as he entered his room and turned back.

"Goodnight." he called.

"Night." James called back.

"Goodnight Harry." Severus repeated for them. Harry felt an emotion bubble up inside him and went to be with a large smile. The next day him, Ron, and Hermione sat together outside by their favourite tree.

"So how did you exam go?" Draco asked as he walked up while Ron and Harry had one last practice for the big defense practical.

"Which exam?" Harry asked as if he had no idea what Draco was speaking of.

"Oh I don't know… arithmancy… POTIONS YOU PRAT!" Draco shouted giving Harry a shove. Harry laughed before he shrugged.

"I don't know my grade, mum wouldn't tell me." Harry said as he and Ron lowered their wands.

"What did he say when you asked?" Draco asked as the trio lounged on the grass.

"He told me to get studying." Harry said as he lay down.

"Was he upset?" Draco asked

"I don't know. Its mum. The man has a tighter hold on his emotions then a nun's-" Harry began.

"Finish that sentence and I will smack you." Hermione said from her spot by the tree. Harry blushed and Draco winced and ghosted a hand over his face in remembrance.

"Anyways he looked the same as ever." Harry said shaking his head. With that Draco shrugged and opened his potions text book.

"Why are you studying that?" Ron asked with a distasteful grimace. Draco rolled his eyes.

"Because unlike you I have to get my mastery, which means I'll be taking potions for another year in a college" Draco said with a haughty turn of his chin. Ron gagged causing Hermione to punch him. Harry smiled slightly as he let the chatter and wind rush over him.

"I'm gonna miss this." Harry muttered out of the blue. Hermione and Ron looked at him and smiled a bit sadly.

"Yeah… me too." Ron admitted as he leaned back and looked up at the sky.

"You remember when we all had to do detention together?" Draco murmured contemplatively.

"How could I forget. You were a spotty little git." Ron groused. Draco chuckled sheepishly.

"Yeah I was… and a coward too…" Draco said quietly.

"Remember that time Hermione got turned into a cat." Harry murmured.

"Harry!" Hermione cried with a deep blush. But Draco heard it and smirked.

"How did that happen?" he asked. Hermione glared at him even with her pink cheeks.

"That was the year we thought you were the heir of Slytherin…" Harry murmured contemplatively. Draco balked.

"No thank you. I rather like my nose, and do you know how much I spend to keep my hair in this shape." Draco cried. The three Gryffindors howled with laughter as Draco began to preen like some over stuffed peacock. Harry smiled and let the casual air calm him. He held onto that calm as the week followed leading up to the defence exam. Harry was still nervous as hell as time passed until the exam was the very next day. Draco agreed to one last practice session. And so after about an hour of training Draco cracked his neck and rubbed his sore muscles with a wince.

"Okay… you ready… in fact watching you is kinda scary. Like a horrifying age defying mirror into the past."

"Thanks Draco, that makes me feel loads better." Harry muttered from his spot in a chair in the back corner.

"Hey I'm not saying you're like that when you duel regularly… it just… nevermind I'm not good at talking to guys." Draco muttered. Harry snorted and burst into laughter at that. "Shut up Potter." Draco growled.

"Make me Malfoy." Harry parried back but it was void of malice. Draco smirked a bit and together he and Harry exited the room they were training in with Draco draping an arm over Harry.

"You know. I almost envy those guys in Defence. I also would love to see the look on your friends face." Draco admitted with a dark chuckle. Harry punched him in the arm slightly. "I'm kidding… you'll be great." Draco said with a smile. Harry heave a sigh.

"I hope you're right." the very next day the defence class was piled onto the day bus again. Harry stood tapping his foot with pent of agitation the entire ride. Luna placed a hand on his arm comfortingly.

"You'll be fine Harry." she said quietly with such sureness that Harry didn't doubt her at all. Soon they were walking to the auror training room and James addressed his class.

"Time to see if you studied." James said with a smile looking all his students up and down. One by one the students went into the room each facing a dummy representation of their chosen dark wizard. Seamus and Dean where each bested by Merwyn the Malicious and Emeric the evil respectively. Hannah was just barely defeated by Yardley Platt. Ronald just barely managed to fight off Godelot. Blaise was bested in a humiliating single cure for his Herpo the foul dummy. PavartI and Susan both appeared to have their dummy's on the ropes when they slipped up and were taken down. Hermione defeated her ethelred the ever-ready dummy with the same ferocity and logic she attacked he studies earning her a win. Parvati's loss was soon forgotten after Ginny's astounding defeat of Morgan Le Fay. That was similarly forgotten after Luna absolutely furious attack on her Grindelwald dummy. The thing was left in pieces after she was done. Harry watched her come in with slightly bulging eyes and gobsmacked face. James snickered a bit at his son's lovestruck face before he tapped his shoulder. Harry jumped and looked at him before he nodded.

"Alright I'm sure you were all waiting for this." James cried gaining his classes detention. "It's time for Harry to show us what he's made of." Harry meanwhile was waiting for the door to open. When it did he took a deep breath before he stretched his neck. Suddenly his entire posture changed. He was standing taller. His muscle were loose. Hermione frowned when she noticed that Harry was loosely holding his wand in his left hand. The class watched in confusion as Harry seemed to float into the centre of the room as opposed to walk. James on the other hand paled and straed at his son like he was seeing a ghost. Harry stopped in the center of the room and seemed to wait. There was a palpable silence in the room so thick you could hear a pin drop in the offices down the hall. Suddenly with no apparent reason Harry raised his wand in a whipping motion before three a blast of red energy at the ground. As it blasted out twelve auror appeared circling him and were blasted off their feet before they could even think of a curse. Harry fluidly moved as he savagely tore into the aurors that followed their comrades. Soon he was fighting four at once. And he was winning. Two more were blasted of his feet before suddenly rose his wand. Suddenly the air was filled with water that was soon turned into sharp icicles that zoomed towards opponents that were approaching from the rear. The cried out as they fell back and the icicles stilled less than an inch from their faces. With another whip of his wand the two aurors that he was fighting were suddenly chained to the wall. Soon Harry was surrounded by six more aurors. Harry watched them all as they seemed to hesitate. As they stood a smiled curled onto his lips and with a single whip of his wand each auror was knocked off their feet and bound by invisible ropes. For a second there was silence before Harry loosened up his stance again and looked around.

"Erm… is there anybody in need of medical help?" he offered wearily. There was a resounding groan as all the people he had blasted off their feet at the beginning of the test raised their hands. "Oh come on, you're just feeling apparition sickness, take a stomach soother, is there anybody with broken extremities?"

"I think you broke my everthing Potter!" one of the aurors on the ground complained. Harry rolled his eyes.

"Stop complaining." he grumbled as he released all the aurors that were bound. He waved his wand the icicles disappeared into water vapor and the aurors gasped for breath. With that he turned and looked at his classmates. Harry swallowed when he saw their faces. They looked afraid. Even his father was staring at him like he was seeing him for the first time. Harry stood for a second, unsure and frightened when suddenly clapping sounded from the class. Harry looked and saw Luna smiling at him the same way she always did and his heart filled with joy. Slowly Hermione and Ron began to clap as well and slowly but surely everyone but Blaise and Theodore was clapping. Even his father. Harry walked over to then and James patted his back.

"I have to admit I was not expecting that." James whispered in his ear. Harry winced and looked at him but the fear he had seen on his father's face before was gone. Harry shuffled over to the sidelines then as James called on the last student.

"Theodore Nott! You're up next. Raczidian is waiting" James said smiling at the tall slytherin. Theodore scoffed and strutted into the testing room lie he owned the place. Harry watched the dummy came towards Theodore and smirked preparing to see the man get his just deserts when suddenly his face fell. The students took steps back as the glass began to freeze over.

"Dad… you didn't." Harry said worriedly. James swore worriedly and flung the door out open.

"Out! All of you out! God damn it I told them not to use real ones!" James cried before he drew his wand and ran into the room after Theodore. Harry watched and looked at the fleeing students.

"Harry!" Hermione cried. Harry groaned before he pulled out his wand and rushed in after his father.

"Harry!" Ron cried as he and Hermione ran after him. Luna followed close behind them. Harry skidded to a halt beside his dad as a proud buck danced around the room. Suddenly an otter drifted past him

"Harry!" James cried. "Get Theodore out of here!"

"We got him." Ron cried as his dog chased another dementor around the room. Luna was beside Harry as he rose up his wand.

"Expecto patronum!" the two cried together. There was a burst of bright light that made James' own patronus vanish as two bright objects hurled from the pairs wand and began to jump around the room. After the cold and the dementors disappeared the two being returned to their masters and hopped around them a bit. Harry stared as his patronus stopped in front of him as always like a loyal pet to its master. The march hare's ears turned to him before Luna's own hare nuzzled his and they both disappeared. James released a breath he didn't realize he was holding in a gust. Harry looked over at Luna and smiled at her as she smiled back. Harry looked over at James as James cleared his throat.

"I thought I told you to get out." Harry opened his mouth to respond but was interrupted when a junior auror rushed in.

"I'm so sorry sir! One of the senior aurors' lost a daughter to Nott senior at the Battle of Hogwarts. He was just detained. The boy was sent to St. Mungo's. His mother was contacted I believe."

"I'd like to speak with the head auror. That was a serious offense that left several of my students in serious risk!" James said furiously. James turned to Harry.

"If you and Luna could corral all the students and get them back to hogwarts. Tell your mother I'll be home later." James said before he patted his son's shoulder. Harry nodded and took Luna's hand as they orchestrated everyone back to hogwarts. Once back and after he got his mother Harry pulled Ron and Hermione aside.

"I… I have something to tell you...it's… it's about my patronus." Harry said quietly.

"What about it?" Ron asked.

"It changed." Harry said quietly. Hermione nodded slightly while Ron's eyebrows rose up to his hair.

"Wait patronuses can change?" he asked. Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Honestly Ron! Have you ever opened a book? Patronuses change after a moment of great emotional change. It makes sense that your patronus would change. So much has happened within the last year. What is it?" Hermione asked. Harry swallowed.

"A march hare." Harry said.

"Symbol of rebirth and freedom. It makes sense." Hermione said.

"Hang on… isn't Luna's patronus a march hare or whatever too?" Ron asked. Harry nodded.

"You see… mum and dad have matching patronus'. Mums is a white tailed doe and dads is a stag. Dad said that because they have matching patronus' it means…" Harry trailed off.

"It means what?" Hermione pressed. Harry swallowed.

"It means their soul mates." Harry said. Hermione rose an eyebrow.

"Well yeah." Ron said. Harry and Hermione looked at him. "Everyone knows that. It's really rare for someone to have matching patronus', like… once in a generation kind of rare. Heck even Fred and George have different patronus'! Actually… Mum and dad have matching patronus'." Ron admitted.

"They do? What are they?" Hermione asked. Ron blushed.

"A male and female weasel." Ron admitted. Hermione and Harry tried to hold back their snorts and giggles. "Shut up." Ron hissed in annoyance.

"It's alright mate." Harry said after he got himself under control. "We won't tell Draco." that set Hermione off and Harry followed as Ron looked between the two looking very disgruntled

"You two are awful friends." Ron muttered. That just made Hermione and Harry laugh harder. After the defense exam there was a week long lull before marks came out. The trio were both waiting in anticipation before James walked up to the three of them with their marks. He looked very grave and Hermione clutched onto Ron's arm desperately. James silently handed each scroll to Ron and Hermione before he turned to Harry.

"I'm afraid." he began. Harry felt his stomach plummet. Had he not tried hard enough? Had he failed everything? Where they going to make him take hogwarts all over again? How would he be able to look his mother in the eye after he had disappointed him like that? All these thought swirled around his head as he looked up and stared stupidly up at his father who was now smiling wide and holding out his marks. Harry took it numbly and opened it. He stared at the page for a second.

"I passed everything." he said blandly. Suddenly what he said connected to his brain and clutched the paper and read it over a few more times and burst into laughter. "I passed everything! I got an O in potions! AN O! Where's mum?!" Harry cried before he got up and dashed out of the hall. He passed Luna and picked her up swung her over his head and planted a lingering kiss on her lips before he dashed towards the dungeons. Ginny laughed at Luna's shocked face as the blond stared after his looked confused. Harry dashed down the steps to the dungeon and looked around before he spotted his mother locking up his office. "MUM!" Harry cried before he ran to Severus. The man grunted as suddenly his son had his arms wrapped around him in a tight hug.

"Harry. What is it?"

"I got an O in positions!" Harry said smiling up at his mother. Severus blinked before he smiled and held out his hand for the list of marks. Harry handed it to him and he read it over.

"O in defense, unsurprising, O in potions, E in transfiguration, O in charms, E in herbology… I daresay you've done it…" Severus looked at him and felt something well up inside him.

"Why did you grow so quickly." he whispered in his head. Harry's smile fell slightly and Severus berated himself for speaking his mind. Harry looked at him with a slight nostalgic smile.

"I still remember the first time I met you… and you started going on about aconit and powdered root of wormwood and infusion of whatever-"

"Powdered root of asphodel and an infusion of wormwood." Severus corrected briskly. Harry snorted.

"Yeah, that… I geuss… I guess I never really learned that." Harry muttered. Severus smiled slightly.

"You didn't have to. I was being unfair on purpose so that I would alienate you." Severus said his face falling near the end.

"I know." Harry said quietly. Severus pulled his son in for a hug.

"I would never do that now, ever." Severus said strongly.

"I know." Harry said quietly. The pair stood there like that for a long time. Uncaring who saw, and remained that way until James came and found them. The days that followed Harry spent much of his time outside appreciating the view.

"This is it." Hermione said coming up beside him. "Leaving home."

"Yeah." Harry said quietly as he looked out across the lake. And he thought of everything that had happened on these grounds.

"I lost my virginity here." Ron said suddenly.

"Ron!" Hermione cried as she hit his arm. "Really?! Now is not the time!"

"What!? It's true!" Ron said. Harry laughed and pulled Hermione into a hug and Ron to his side.

"Promise that even though we're leaving this" Harry said gesturing to the view "doesn't stop." Ron shook his head.

"Naw mate." Ron said patting his back roughly. "You're stuck with us. You were stuck with from the moment that troll hit the floor of the girls bathroom." Harry smiled as he looked out towards the view again.

The very next day Hermione paced back and forth muttering under her breath.

"Come on Hermione. The speech is perfect." Ron insisted. Hermione sighed heavily and continued pacing.

"Hey." Harry cried as he grabbed Hermione's shoulders. "You're gonna be fine." he said. Hermione looked at him a few seconds before she took a deep breath and nodded.

"Yes… yes you're right… i'm over reacting… I can do this… I can do this." Hermione said.

"It's just a speech. You'll be fine." Harry insisted. Hermione nodded, much more confident than before. And so ten minutes later Harry sat with all his other fellow seventh and eighth years and watched as Hermione slowly stood up to the podium. She swallowed took and deep breath and began.

"If I were to use one word to describe my years at Hogwarts? Magical. I know to some that sounds naive and more than a little childish but everyday we do things here that as a child I had only dreamed of. everyday I learn new wonderful things that I would have no hope of learning if I never knew. I have so many to thank for where we are today. my first friends, Harry, Ron, who've been with me since that disastrous Halloween." there was a collective chuckle from the professors and eighth years who remembered the event "new friends that came after, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Ginny, Luna… Dumbledore's Army." Hermione looked out in the and smiled at those she had mentioned. "And friends that I have now that I am shocked to have, for they were once my enemies, Draco." she left a lingering look on the blond who swallowed and smiled up at her. Hermione swallowed and continued "When you're at Hogwarts, your house is like your family. a very wise woman once told me that, but I'd like to amend that statement ever so slightly. when you are at Hogwarts, everyone is your family. Together we laugh, we cry, we fight, but we stay strong. I think I speak for everyone when I say that Hogwarts will always be home. to some it is a true home, one they never got to have before coming here. To others it's a home away from home. but no matter who you are or where you came from Hogwarts will always hold a place in your heart. And so I leave this podium with four well said words: 'Draco dormiens nunquam titillandus'" Hermione finished. There was a roar as the crowd stood and cheered as she descended from the stand shaking hands with a slightly teary eyed proud faced McGonagall. The headmistress rose to the podium and smiled down at them.

"Well I daresay Mr. Potter we'll be glad to see you go, perhaps we'll be able to keep a defense professor for more than a single year." there was a resounding laugh as even Harry chuckled a bit. Mcgonagall cleared her throat and continued. "All joking aside I am quite proud of all of you. You have proven yourselves to be ready minded and capable so I have no shame in presenting the graduating class of 1998!" Mcgonagall finished before she shot four fireworks from her wand of red, green, blue, and yellow. With a great cheer the student rose to their feet and threw their hats in the air. And so Harry, Ron, and Hermione stood at the gates of Hogwarts. Neville came up behind them and smiled. Dean came next with Ginny on his arm. Seamus was beside them. Luna came and entwined her hand in Harry's. Harry smiled at her and looked out towards the road and life beyond and took a single step.

_**~Finite Incantatem~**_

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A/N: I really have a problem.

But you made it.

Past all the pitfalls and tripwires!

To the very end!

More than a years of work and 70k+ words and its final over!

I'd like to thank my friend and family for putting up with my shenanigans and 'wait just one moment I'm almost done this chapter!'s

I'd like to thank my editor and good friend Books who put up with all my grammar and spelling mistake and endless 'it'll be out next week' and 'maybe the week after' and 'it'll get done!... eventually…'

I'd like to thank J. and the wonderful cast of the Harry Potter franchise for bringing my favourite childhood character to life and allowing me to play with them to my wicked sadistic little heart's content.

And last but certainly not least I'd like to thank all of you. I know the wait has been agonizing.

As for what's next…

I think i'm gonna focus on finishing some of my Gravity Falls and My Little Pony stuff before I put out anymore Harry Potter content. I'm sorry for all my HP exclusive fans.

now , One last time:

PiffyEQ: sadly this is the last update. I hope you enjoyed the true conclusion.

Faery66: I'm sorry for such a long wait. The sheer length of this work makes it hard to write all in one sitting. I hope the real ending it to your liking

Angelallie15: I hope you were too upset… who am I kidding, you were furious, you all were. As you can see Harry does have a strong support system and he will continue to grow on to a bright future. Thank you for reading my fic and I hope you enjoy any future works I come out with. And I promise. I wont troll… much.

dreamyeyes14: thank you so very much. I like you am a huge snames fan! I was frustrated by how little there is of this ship on the internet. I thank you for reviewing. I really does provide me with all of my essential vitamins and minerals. I hope you will continue to enjoy any further works I put out.

Girl-luvs-manga: it is isn't it. Thank you again for reviewing. It really helps motivate me.

Lady necromancer: first off I'd like to say thank you to you personally for following this fic through to the end and not being scared off by the long wait. Its fans like you that encourage us authors to continue. I wish all online readers were like you. I hope you are satisfied with this conclusion and I hope you will continue to enjoy my works in the near and far future.

Any reviews I get for the april fools chapter will be replied to via pm.

I apologize for my evil muse. She likes to torment people. Though most especially me.

Anyways, With that over, I say one last thank to all of you out there who come after.

Keep on reading.

Until next time ;),

-TheTransfiguredCanary

* * *

**This Fic is Dedicated to**

**_Alan Rickman_**

**1946-2016**

**Keep the Magic Alive**

**_Always_**


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